15 Characteristics Of A Quality Woman, According To My Guy Friends

I wrote a piece on how to identify a quality man, so now it's time to dive into what a man actually wants in a wife. The bottom line is that it’s simpler than you might think. With so many "experts" doling out relationship advice all over the internet, it's easy to feel confused, overwhelmed, frustrated, or lied to. On both extremes, there's so much misleading advice that’s ruining women’s chances at having a healthy relationship. 

I talked with different guys in my friend group, and asked them what they value most in their girlfriends (or would want in a potential girlfriend) and put together a list of 15 traits that make someone a high-quality woman, one with long-term potential. Ultimately, good men want sweet, intelligent, best friends as their life partners, women who make them want to be a better man, someone to motivate them, and who likewise is inspired by her man. Here are 15 characteristics that distinguish a quality woman from the crowd and make her worthy of a quality man. 

1. She’s Intelligent

A quality man wants someone he can have a serious conversation with. This is possible with both emotional and intellectual intelligence. Being intelligent means having great conversational skills and charisma, as well as a well-rounded foundation about topics of interest. Being informed and intelligent goes a long way. Stay up to date on current events and trends, and familiarize yourself with classic literature, history, and philosophy. Read often. A great intellectual connection is a strong foundation for any relationship. 

2. She’s Attractive

Essentially, the initial way to catch a guy's interest is with your appearance, since appearances are a good approximation of who you are and what you value. If you don’t know someone yet, the only clues they have as to who you are is the way you look. Later, when you get to know them, you can build up an emotional connection that extends beyond appearance. Since appearances are important though, take care of your look by investing in skincare rather than makeup, or go for a no-makeup makeup routine. Most men prefer the natural look. The way you dress is also important. Develop a unique sense of style to reflect your taste and personality, but it doesn’t hurt to err on the side of class and femininity. Above all, practice healthy living habits since health is the foundation of beauty.

3. She’s Reliable

Have your life together. Show up on time, and follow through with what you commit to. Be consistent. Reliability and consistency are undervalued traits, but they will make you stand out from the crowd. The media often promotes disorganization as a quirky and cute trait, but in reality, it's a turn-off. Seek consistency and ultimately strive to be someone he can depend on if he needs to. Being reliable is a true indication of value.

4. She’s Sweet

Be sweet to your man and to people in general. Be considerate, funny, and lighthearted. Know how to have fun, and do sweet and thoughtful things for him. Make his life brighter for knowing you. Be open to spontaneity, and pay attention to his needs and interests. Simply be friendly and pleasant to be around, and you will naturally attract quality people into your life.

5. She’s Down to Earth

There’s nothing guys will run from faster than “high-maintenance” women. Coming across as fake, calculated, or demanding is a definite turn-off. Be someone who he can talk to and relate to, someone who isn’t overly needy or uptight. Be adventurous and try new things. Finally, be straightforward with the way you approach the relationship. Don’t try to play games or be manipulative. Those are characteristics of desperate women who can’t attract a man with honesty.

6. She Has Strong Values

A true sign of quality is having values that you abide by and believe in. Not only should you hold these values personally, but you should live them out and express them in your actions and choices. You should also not only have values in principle, but you should understand why you hold them and the reasoning behind them. Have a thorough understanding of your beliefs so that you can defend them if needed. What's important to you? This means political beliefs, personal beliefs, religious beliefs, or life lessons you’ve learned from experience.  

7. She Shows Appreciation

A high-quality woman enjoys being a woman and lets the man be the man. Essentially, she appreciates him for who he is, even in the ways that he’s different from her. Show him how much you value him for who he is. Admire his masculine strengths and express how much he means to you through your words and actions. Show him how much you care for him and how much you appreciate his chivalry. 

8. She Has a Vision for the Future

To gain the respect and admiration of a quality man, have goals, dreams, and plans that you strive to fulfill. Have a greater purpose in life than simply living day by day. It’s okay if you’re still figuring out the specifics, but it helps to have a general direction of what you want in terms of career and family. On the other hand, you want to be flexible and open to change along the way. Having plans is important in finding the right man for you, as you want to have your general vision for the future match with his. This also shows dedication and commitment, valuable traits in any life partner.

9. She Doesn’t Overuse Her Phone or Social Media

Live in the moment and do things for the sake of doing them, not to promote your social media image. Do activities that you love because something is fun or interesting, not because it looks good on your profile. Put the phone away at meals or when you're having a conversation.

10. She Can Be Direct

According to one of my guy friends, when talking with a man, women should “be more blunt than you think you need to be.” Men have a more direct communication style than women, a bluntness that women often shy away from. The key is to meet him where he’s at and simply say it like it is. Be honest and upfront rather than being evasive or worrying about tiptoeing around his feelings. This will be much appreciated by the men you encounter.

11. She Reciprocates

It's okay to let him take the lead in the beginning of a relationship, since that’s what a gentleman does, but you also have to reciprocate. A lot of women are misled into thinking that it's only the man's job to invest in the relationship (planning dates, buying gifts, etc.), but it takes both parties to have a loving and balanced relationship. And the guy wants to be appreciated too! So, reciprocate his interest. Let him know you’re interested in him if you like him and he shows interest in you. Say hi, smile, or ask him a thoughtful question. If you’re already in a relationship, then plan a fun outing or get him a little gift from time to time.

12. She’s Confident

Confidence is key to coming across as appealing in any circumstance. To be confident, think about who you want to be and how you can become that person. How do you want others to see you? The more authentic you are, the more confident you will appear. Practice building your self-esteem by doing hobbies you enjoy, and surrounding yourself with uplifting and inspirational content through the music you listen to, the shows you watch, and the books you read. Posture is also extremely important for conveying confidence. Stand up straight and don’t hunch over or slouch. Move with both purpose and grace. Finally, only wear clothes that make you look and feel your best.

13. She Is Supportive

Like a high-quality man, a high-quality woman is supportive of her partner. Show interest in his interests and his life. Support his goals and his needs. Sometimes, just being someone who will listen without judgment is enough. Another way to show support is to give honest feedback when it's needed. In a loving way, constructively tell him how he can become a better man and fulfill his potential. Support him as he is while motivating him to be his best.

14. She Has Independent Interests 

In order to be interesting, you must have your own interests. No one wants a carbon copy of themselves. Your appeal comes from the way that you stand out. Be intriguing. Have a vision of what you want in life, and unique or even niche hobbies and interests. What makes you who you are? Do you enjoy baking, gardening, or following the stock market? Do you love learning about a certain time period, a favorite type of music, or have a fascination with a particular geographical region or species of animal? Embrace your natural interests, and show enthusiasm when you discuss or take part in them. Enthusiasm is contagious, and he’ll be impressed with how dedicated you are to your passions.  

15. She’s Dedicated to the Relationship

Prioritize your relationship. Show commitment. Dedicate time and effort to it. Put him first above your other commitments if you have to. This means never trash-talking your man behind his back, and choosing to be on his side if a conflict comes up. After all, you’re a team. Ultimately, ask yourself what your priorities are – what comes first? How serious are you about a relationship? A quality woman seeks to find a potential life partner, rather than casually date for the fun of it. 

Closing Thoughts

There you have it: 15 characteristics of a quality woman that a high-value man would be glad to find. Before demanding a quality man for yourself, it's important to make sure that you are worthy of one. It simply takes self-awareness to be able to identify the areas in which you need to improve, as well as the characteristics you excel in, which you should capitalize on.

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