15 Traits Of Successful Relationships, According To A Relationship Counselor

If you’ve ever wondered what truly makes a relationship work long-term, you’re not alone. I know there's no shortage of “expert” advice online, but Comfort Omovre, a relationship counselor and author of When Love Visits, has shared a thread on X that stands out. In it, she shares 15 traits that she’s consistently seen in successful couples.

Here's what she had to say.

1. Genuine Appreciation is Key

If there’s one thing that’s common in every successful relationship, it’s this: appreciation. Omovre writes, “Successful couples are loud about how much they appreciate each other, express their gratitude frequently over the big and especially little things, and they always mean it when they say, ‘Thank you.’” So, it’s not just about the grand gestures but the small everyday moments too. Expressing gratitude isn’t just nice – it’s essential. Think about it: When’s the last time you thanked your partner for doing something small, but meaningful?

2. Affection is Non-Negotiable

Successful couples don’t shy away from affection. In fact, they’re all about it. “The recurrent forehead kisses, multiple daily hugs, handholding, cuddling, beard rubbing, hair fiddling… successful couples are always reassuring one another of their affections through wholesome, non-sexual physical contact.” The beauty of these gestures is that they happen so often, they almost become second nature. You don’t even have to think about it – you just do it because, well, you care.

3. Respect and Admiration, Always

Omovre points out that successful couples are not just in love – they respect and admire each other. “They see one another as people who are worthy of regard and honor and they act accordingly, only bringing praise and pride to their partners.” It’s not just about love, it’s about seeing each other as equals, and that respect creates a solid foundation for everything else.

4. Boundaries Aren’t a Bad Thing

Healthy boundaries are about preserving individuality and safety. Omovre says, “Successful couples never hesitate to set and communicate boundaries—both internal and external, and they often do well to honour these boundaries too.” Boundaries allow for growth and space, which is just as important as closeness in any relationship.

5. Fighting Clean

Let’s be real: Arguments are inevitable. But how you handle them makes all the difference. According to Omovre, “You’ll never catch successful couples fighting dirty. They neither air unclean laundry nor intentionally construct their words and actions to strike the other person where it would hurt the most.” They know how to argue, yes, but they do it with respect. It’s all about keeping it clean and using conflict as a stepping stone toward deeper understanding.

6. Autonomy: Yes, You Can Be Together AND Independent

Being in a relationship doesn’t mean losing yourself. Successful couples get this. Omovre explains, “They fully recognize and acknowledge their partners as full humans in their own rights and this reflects in the way they treat each other, and support one another’s endeavours.” So, while you may be a team, you’re still two individuals who maintain their own identities and goals.

7. Communication is Everything

Here’s a no-brainer: communication. But it’s not just about talking – it’s about listening, too. “Successful couples talk to, and with each other—not at each other. More importantly, they listen actively.” It’s about creating a safe space where both can express themselves without fear of being dismissed.

8. Friendship First

You’ve heard the saying, “Best friends who are in love.” Well, successful couples genuinely live this. Omovre writes, “Successful couples genuinely like each other and continue to cultivate deeper friendship. They act silly, play games, tease and laugh together a lot.” So, it’s not just about being romantically involved – it’s about truly enjoying each other’s company, quirks and all.

9. Endless Courtship

Successful couples don’t stop dating. Ever. “They continue to court and dazzle one another with planned events, surprise gifts, sweet words, thoughtful gestures, getaway trips, and date nights.” Romance isn’t a once-in-a-while thing; it’s a constant. The effort is ongoing, and that’s what keeps the relationship vibrant.

10. Accountability and Consideration

Omovre highlights how successful couples are consistently accountable to one another. “They don’t live their lives like they only answer to themselves. They take their partners into consideration, act in ways that’d only attract respect and love.” It’s about being mindful of your partner’s feelings and needs, even in the day-to-day grind.

11. An Ever-Improving Sex Life

Intimacy doesn’t stagnate in successful relationships. “They’re often looking for ways to spice things up in the bedroom—and most especially, outside.” So, they keep the fire burning by being intentional and creative, ensuring that physical connection remains a priority.

12. Agree to Disagree (Sometimes)

Here’s the thing about successful couples: they don’t agree on everything. And that’s okay. “Successful couples do not ALWAYS agree. However, they’re mostly of one mind when it comes to the things that truly matter.” When disagreements happen, they don’t shy away from compromise.

13. Apologies Are Done Right

A proper apology is essential. Omovre insists, “Successful couples do not beat around the bush, struggle to apologize due to ego, or try to sweep things under the carpet.” Instead, they own up to their mistakes, communicate their remorse, and take steps to make things right. No pride, no ego – just honesty.

14. Forgiveness is Earned, Not Given Lightly

Grudges don’t have room in healthy relationships. Successful couples know how to forgive and move on. “They air their grievances, are honest about their processing journey, and work to truly let go of the slight and move on.” If a mistake is truly resolved, it stays in the past, never to be weaponized in the future.

15. Mutual Yielding

Last but not least, successful couples understand that it’s not always about one person yielding. “Successful couples yield to each other. It’s not always one person having to compromise, or getting to have their way. It goes both ways.” Relationships are a team effort, and both partners are pulling their weight.

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