38-Year-Old Woman Cries About Being Childless, Says She Feels "Betrayed By Feminism"
Melissa Persling from Idaho says she's "terrified" she might have "missed the opportunity" to start a family after chasing a career.
In an emotional interview with Fox News Digital, a woman named Melissa Persling went candid about desiring a family at 38-years-old. She broke down crying as she described her fears of being alone and childless and blamed feminism for betraying her.
In November, Persling wrote an essay for Business Insider titled, "I'm 38 and single, and I recently realized I want a child. I'm terrified I've missed my opportunity." Persling was not met with empathy, and instead received an onslaught of hate from men telling her she's lived a selfish life. Persling explained her side of the story.
Persling Thought She Never Wanted To Have Kids
When she was only 22, Persling married a man and moved to Coeur d’Alene, Idaho, where she grew up. Her then-husband was more traditional, and “He wanted a simple life with children and home-cooked meals." Despite coming from a religious background, Persling wasn't on the same page. She was likely influenced by the media to be a girl-boss and hustle, so she told her husband she didn't want kids.
“At that time, I felt very strongly I did not want children, that I wasn’t going to be like the traditional housewife. I knew I did want to pursue a career,” she recalled. “And I felt very strongly that that would never change. And I guess I was wrong.”
After 10 years, their marriage was over. Persling became resentful when her husband would request food or for his laundry to be done. “I did little to hide my disdain for our small-town life. He was a good and hardworking man, but I don’t think I made him feel that way,” she admitted. It takes a lot to realize our shortcomings in relationships.
“I told my friends and family I’d never get married again. I needed independence, a fulfilling career, and space to chart my own course, and I didn’t think marriage fit into that vision. I was content to look toward a future without a husband, children, or the trappings of a ‘traditional’ life,'” Persling wrote. I encourage women (and men) who are adamant about delaying settling down to rethink their priorities. Are you sure you'll feel the same way in the future? People change, and you're not immune to that. You also don't have a lot of options like you think you do.
Persling found another man after her marriage, and her relationship with him lasted 7 ½ years. He, too, was not interested in marriage or kids and was more career-driven. They had the DINK lifestyle, drinking wine, taking trips, and staying up late. Over time, Persling said she became the woman her ex-husband wanted. "I enjoyed cooking, cleaning, and caring for someone when it was my choice and when it wasn't asked of me. I'd been so preoccupied with preserving my independence and caring for myself that I hadn't realized how much I could enjoy caring for someone else and allowing them to care for me," Persling shared. They broke up after she turned 37.
She dated around and soon realized she wanted to build a family with someone. The 38-year-old was too focused on herself to recognize that what truly mattered to her wasn't a career or chasing pleasure. "I went from proudly proclaiming I was too self-centered to be bothered with a family to realizing there was more to life than independence and the pleasures of living for oneself. My very existence started to feel shallow and hollow," Persling confessed.
"I don't need a man" isn't always as empowering as it sounds, at least for women who want a family. Many women are being influenced to postpone their love life and focus on a career. The truth is that we have a finite window for conceiving and bearing children – pushing potential partners away to be a girl boss only reduces our window of time to have a baby. Some women certainly don't want kids, but like many others, it seems that Persling was swayed by liberal feminism rather than listening to her own desires.
Panic began to creep in as Persling approached the age of 39. "Now, months after that realization and at nearly 39, I feel panicked thinking I'll be a single, childless middle-aged woman. I worry that my youthful looks will fade and that I won't be able to attract the man I want to spend the rest of my life with," she added, stating that she feels "a little desperate."
Still, Persling is hopeful. "At my age, I know that creating life may not be an option for me. And I worry that men who want a family aren't looking for a woman pushing 40. I get it; I'm no longer the ideal candidate for motherhood, and it's a scary truth. But I still hope to find someone who thinks I'm the ideal partner and create our family together. I understand the appeal of life without the constraints of marriage or children; for many years, I was quite satisfied living that way. I know people can live happy, purpose-driven lives without those things. I just don't believe I'm one of those people anymore. I know now that my purpose lies in having a husband and a family. I'm meant to care for more than myself."
Persling concluded, "I'm looking for my forever person and hoping he's looking for me, too."
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