4 Psychological Signs He's Thinking About You

I won't be the first to admit that confessions are hard. Sometimes, you fall suddenly, and it feels way too soon to be wearing your heart on your sleeve. There's a fine line between wanting to share your feelings and fearing what could happen next. Will he even feel the same way? Would confessing ruin our friendship? Will he reject me ruthlessly?

It's natural to want to protect yourself, especially when you've been hurt before. The good news is that you don't have to rely so much on verbal language to know if someone is crushing on you too. How someone behaves around you will reveal their true feelings. "You need to train yourself to pay less attention to the words that people say and greater attention to their tone of voice, the look in their eye, their body language – all signals that might reveal a nervousness or excitement that is not expressed verbally," says Robert Greene, author of The Art of Seduction.

If you want to know if he's been thinking about you, here are the signs you need to look for.

Mirroring

An influencer named Masha makes videos on psychology. In a viral TikTok, she explained that mirroring is a big indicator that someone has you on their mind. If they’re unconsciously copying your body language or speech patterns, he’s definitely comfortable around you. “This is linked to a chameleon effect in psychology, which is a psychological theory that suggests that we unconsciously mimic those that we like or that we think about often,” she said.

The chameleon effect "describes the unconscious tendency most people have of mimicking, or mirroring, another person’s facial expressions, non-verbal behaviors, and verbal expression,” said Suzanne Degges-White, PhD, LCPC, NPC. 

She continued, “The chameleon effect generally has a positive influence on the interrelationship between two people as it leads them to believe that they share similarities with each other and are in sync.”

This unintentional mimicry occurs when we're trying to get closer to others. Next time you’re with your person, pay close attention to his mannerisms. Mirroring manifests in many ways: crossing your legs or arms, checking your watch, picking up your glass of water to drink, and so on.

They Remember Small Details About You

This one should be obvious, but when we're lost in our racing thoughts, it's something we can easily overlook. “Secondly, they remember small things about you,” Masha said. “If someone remembers little details from your last conversation, like your favorite food, for example, it's a sign that you're probably on their mind.” The TikToker says this phenomenon is “tied to an encoding specificity principle,” which means we remember specific information if it's important to us. 

The encoding specificity principle basically says that we remember things better when we're in the same situation or context where we learned them. So, if something is important to us or stands out, we're more likely to remember it, especially if we're reminded of it in a similar situation later on. This means if he remembers small details about a conversation you guys had a while ago or what your middle name is, you’re in luck!

Eye Contact

“Thirdly, are they making consistent eye contact with you?” asked Masha. “Eye contact is a psychological indicator of interest and focus. Research says that increased eye contact means that there's a greater emotional connection and, therefore, can be an indication that someone's thinking about you more than usual.”

She's right! Research does indeed show that eye contact strengthens relationships and increases intimacy. It indicates that someone is listening to you and paying attention to what you're saying. Eye contact also releases oxytocin, the "love hormone." One study discovered that when two strangers locked eyes for just two minutes, it sparked feelings of passion between them.

If he's unconsciously looking into your soul, it's likely because he's attracted to and thinking about you.

Unexpected Communication

“Finally, pay attention to whether there has been unexpected communication,” said Masha. Did you get a random DM or text? Did you just happen to bump into him one day? This may mean you’re living in their mind, rent-free. When we frequently think about someone, we notice and seize any chance to interact with them. If a man isn't interested in you, there's a high chance he'll just ghost or avoid you. The fact that he would reach out means he thought of you and wanted to check on how you were doing. Take it as a sign and maybe confess!

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