5 Things You Can Do This Month To Be A Better Friend

We’re used to having to work on romantic relationships. We know that in order to be a good girlfriend or wife, we have to invest ourselves fully into the relationship. We understand that having a good relationship or marriage doesn’t happen without intention, time, attention, and love.

But we aren’t as used to thinking about friendships this way. We don’t often consider what we can actively do to become a better friend, think about the ways that we can grow and change, or ask ourselves how we can better show them love. 

Kindred spirit friendships don’t happen accidentally or without any intention. While friendships should feel natural, we can’t expect a relationship we don’t offer any attention to grow. We wouldn’t plant flower seeds and then neglect to water the soil or ensure they're getting the right amount of sun – so why would we do that to our friendships, which have the potential to be some of the most life-giving relationships we’ll ever have?

Here are five simple things you can do this month to be a better friend.

Call Her “Just Because,” Totally Unexpectedly

While not everyone loves getting unexpected calls, many would be happy to see a friend’s name pop up for an unexpected catch-up. And because most people don’t take the time to reach out, nothing will make her feel more loved than getting a “just because” call from you, because she happened to be on your mind.

If you know that she’d enjoy an unplanned catch-up over the phone, after confirming with her that it’s a good time to talk, tell her you were just thinking about her and decided to give her a ring. Ask about what’s been happening in her corner of the world.

Surprise Her with Something Sweet

There are few better ways to someone’s heart than through their sweet tooth. Whether you decide to bake a batch of brown sugar chocolate chip cookies yourself or grab a couple of gooey cinnamon rolls or flaky almond croissants from a local cafe (bonus points if it’s from her favorite coffee shop), surprising her with a few goodies will make her day.

You can surprise her at work by having it dropped off around her lunch hour or come by her house if she works from home or is a stay-at-home mom. Either way, there’s nothing like being surprised with something sweet.

Listen and Remember Details

Because she’s the one actually living her life, the many details of her life are significant to her – from the unique stresses of her job to the difficult relationship she has with her sister to the new guy she started dating a few months ago. She cares deeply about the countless details of her life, and it would mean the world to her if she knew someone else cared too.

When you talk to her, really listen to the details she’s offering you. Remember that job interview she mentioned and text her on the day to encourage her. Ask her how she’s liking her new therapist. Know what’s going on in her life and show her that you care about it by following up with her.

Ask What You Can Do for Her

Often, friendship is about actively listening and validating someone. But sometimes, your duties as a good friend will require a bit more from you – there will be times when you can take a more active role in your friend’s life and the responsibilities or issues that are overwhelming her.

If she’s been feeling spread thin lately, offer to watch the kids while she takes an afternoon to herself. Offer to do grocery shopping for her if she’s feeling way too busy. If you’re a person of faith, ask her if she’d like you to pray for her. Let her know that she can come to you and count on you.

Plan a Friend Date for the Two of You

Nothing deepens a friendship like good one-on-one time. If she’s been especially overrun with responsibilities lately, she’d probably love nothing more than to have a fun, lowkey girls’ night with you. 

So ask her to hang out, just the two of you. Make a reservation at her favorite Mexican restaurant so you can catch up over queso and margaritas, stop by HomeGoods to do some browsing, and go see whatever rom-com is in theatres.

Closing Thoughts

Friendships, like romantic relationships, require attention – we can’t plant the seeds of friendship and expect something beautiful to grow without there being intention on our end. There’s always room for improvement when it comes to being a good friend, so try one (or all) of these tips this month!

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