9 Conversation Hacks That Will Make You More Memorable, No Matter Who You're Talking To

Raise your hand if you’ve ever walked into a social event where you didn’t know anyone and immediately started sweating. Maybe it’s a networking event for work or a party where you only know the host. Even if you do know people there, having to be “on” for hours can still be daunting and a big drain on your social battery.

This is probably why so many people revert to standard small talk fare at parties, in office break rooms, or anywhere else they’re forced to interact with people they don’t know very well. But when was the last time you had a genuinely interesting conversation that began with “How are you?” or “Raining again today, huh?”

If you want to make yourself more memorable in conversations, then you need to think outside the box when it comes to not only the topics you raise but also the manner in which you raise them. You want to bring enthusiasm and confident energy to a conversation, not boredom and nerves.

In a popular TokTok with over 1.2 million views, a TikToker named Flickman offers a few conversation hacks that will instantly make you more memorable no matter where you are or who you’re talking to. Let’s dive into some of his best tips and tricks.

Change Your Mindset

This “hack” is actually great advice for just about any situation in life: Go into it with a positive mindset. Before you even begin a conversation with someone new, ask yourself, “How can I make this as fun and interesting as possible?” If you go into the situation with a positive and curious mindset, you’ll immediately set yourself up for success and be more likely to have a good interaction. 

Get Out of Autopilot Mode

Oftentimes in life, we find ourselves running on autopilot to get through the day, and the same thing can happen in conversation. That’s why so many people fall back on “small talk” even though small talk is universally disliked. Dispense with the boring, normal pleasantries and, instead, implement a pattern disrupt. 

Rather than asking standard questions like “How are you?” or “What do you do?” ask something more specific like, “What was the highlight of your day today?” or “Where’s the last place you went on vacation?” Aim for questions that will get you more detailed answers. That way, it’s easier to take the conversation in a more interesting direction. 

Spell Out Their Name

When someone says their name, spell it back to them. This makes more sense if they have an uncommon name that’s hard to pronounce or spell, but still works even if it’s a common name (though now it’s more for humor purposes than anything else). Let’s say you ask someone their name and they say “Sarah.” Then repeat it back to them and spell it out: “Sarah? S-A-R-A-H?” 

This tactic serves as both a pattern disrupt because it’s kind of a silly thing to do, which will change both your mindsets. It’s also a hack to remember their name because you’re forcing yourself to repeat it mindfully. Then you can begin with their name in conversation, which will also make you more memorable. When you insert someone’s name into a conversation, it shows that you’re present and absorbing the things they’re saying to you, which in turn makes them like you more! 

Ask Where They’re From, but Don’t Let Them Answer

Instead, try to guess where they’re from. This will immediately gamify the conversation and also make them lean in because they’ll be genuinely curious about what you’re going to guess. In his video, Flickman recommends always saying Ohio because it’s generally viewed as a “boring” state and might get a laugh.

If someone says what state they’re from before you can get a guess in, then try to guess the city. This makes the back-and-forth more conversational, and it’s actually better if you guess wrong because it provides an opportunity to take the conversation in a more fun direction. And if you can’t think of any city from the state they’re from, just guess Springfield or Riverside. There's a town called Springfield in 34 states and one called Riverside in 46 states.

Ask Before You Explain a New Idea 

If you’re about to explain something to someone, first, ask them what their current understanding of that concept is. This allows the person to speak and also allows you to tailor your message to them more effectively. 

“Remember that their mental map is not the same as yours,” Flickman explains. Asking them to define the parameters of that map first will help you guide them better. This works for every topic from nuclear fusion to the most current season of The Real Housewives. 

Guess Their Mascot

When someone tells you where they went to school, try to guess the mascot. This is another way to make the conversation more fun because, although you’ll likely guess wrong, it provides the opportunity to start talking about something more interesting like what the best college mascot or silliest college mascot is. 

And you never know what kind of information you’ll learn if you take the conversation down this path – maybe the person you’re talking to actually was the mascot at their college! You never know. That opens up a whole new round of questioning for you. 

Always Have a Back-Up Question or Topic

Even the best-laid plans can go awry, which is why it’s important to always have a Plan B. When you walk into a social gathering, have some fun back-up questions or interesting topics that you can bring up if conversations ever lag. 

It could be about a story you just saw on the news or a fun fact you learned – just something to shake up the conversation or save it if things go south. Here are a few fun facts you can save for your next social event:

• Buzz Lightyear's original name was Lunar Larry.

• Lemons float, but limes sink.

• Competitive art used to be an Olympic sport.

• All mammals get goosebumps.

• It’s illegal to own only one guinea pig in Switzerland.

Use Analogies

If you’re explaining a new concept to someone (after you’ve already asked what their current understanding is, of course), try to use an analogy during your explanation. 

Analogies are great for explaining new things to people because it helps them draw the conclusion you want from what you’re saying. You can also have fun with it by coming up with a playful or zany analogy. If you’re talking about the show Fixer Upper, for example, you could say something like, “Waco, Texas is the Mecca of HGTV” (which is technically a metaphor, but you get the point).

Pitch Them a Fake Business Idea

The final hack on Flickman’s list is to pitch the person you’re talking to a fake business idea. Everyone loves Shark Tank and giving their opinion on whether businesses will make it or break it. Use your surroundings to come up with an idea that’s fitting for whatever setting you’re in. 

If you’re at a wedding, maybe your idea is for Dance Doubles – someone you can hire to do the dancing for you if you hate to dance. Or maybe you steal a ridiculous business idea from one of your favorite movies or TV shows like Prestige Worldwide from Step Brothers or Entertainment 720 from Parks and Rec. 

Closing Thoughts

I think the most important thing to remember when you’re meeting new people and trying to make a good impression is to “Be interested, not interesting.” (I believe Dale Carnegie coined the first version of this idea in his book How to Win Friends and Influence People, which is a must-read!). People love to talk about themselves, so if you want someone to like you, a great strategy is to just keep asking them questions. Then show genuine interest by being an active listener, asking them relevant follow-up questions, and taking the conversation down unexpected paths.