Relationships

A Couples Therapist Shares 7 Patterns She Sees In Relationships That Last

Some relationships stand the test of time while others fall apart. What makes the difference? A couples therapist shares the seven patterns she's observed when it comes to life-long love.

By Carmen Schober2 min read
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Couples therapists are familiar with the dynamics within countless relationships, and holistic coach Aneta Siedlecka shared seven patterns on Instagram that she's seen in couples that "made it" through hard times and achieved long-term love.

Boundaries with Family

One recurring theme in lasting relationships is the establishment of firm boundaries with extended family members. Couples who prioritize their relationship over external influences tend to thrive. They refrain from venting or complaining about each other to family members and make decisions based on what's best for their partnership rather than catering to familial preferences.

Foundation of Friendship

Lasting relationships often have a strong foundation of friendship. Both parties genuinely enjoy spending time together and look forward to each other's company. They share laughter, interests, and meaningful conversations, creating a bond that enriches their connection.

Navigating Dark Times Together

Every relationship encounters rough patches, but what distinguishes enduring ones is how couples navigate through these dark times. They confront doubts and challenges head-on, choosing to work through them rather than giving in to the temptation to flee. This shared resilience fosters trust and deepens their bond.

Acceptance and Respect

In lasting relationships, partners accept each other for who they are, flaws, and all. There's a genuine respect and admiration that allows each person to be themselves without fear of judgment or pressure to change. This acceptance brings out the best in each other, nurturing growth and self-discovery.

Effective Communication

Difficult conversations are inevitable in any relationship, but in lasting ones, couples approach them with emotional regulation and empathy. They express their needs and concerns openly, without resorting to escalation or avoidance. This constructive communication fosters understanding and strengthens their connection.

Resilience in Conflict

Conflict is a natural part of any relationship, but what matters is how couples bounce back from it. Lasting relationships are characterized by the ability to reconcile after disagreements, learning and growing from the experience rather than allowing it to erode their bond.

Embracing Quirks and Imperfections

Finally, couples in lasting relationships embrace each other's quirks and imperfections with warmth and humor. Instead of being hyper-critical, they find joy in the unique aspects of their partner's personality, fostering an atmosphere of acceptance and love.

While every relationship is unique, certain patterns emerge in those that stand the test of time. By cultivating boundaries, friendship, resilience, acceptance, effective communication, conflict resolution skills, and a sense of humor, couples can nurture a relationship that not only endures but flourishes.


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