Beauty, Brains, and Autism: The Hot-Tistic Revolution

Despite what most media have portrayed over the years, you can be both. While I wish I had coined the phrase hot-tistic, the slang term is used among social media circles, particularly by creators like Chanel Savy (Neurodivergent Sav) on TikTok.

So why am I here to talk about being hot-tistic, and how does this affect the rest of us free-thinking, inspiring, lovely ladies? Frankly, I’m a little fed up with the woke mob claiming a monopoly on mental health awareness, and I’m ready to see some representation from the girls who share my values. 

My goal is not to rewire society to yield to my whims. It’s to navigate a neurotypical society while setting healthy boundaries to ensure that my needs are met. Here’s the story of how I found out I have ASD, how I deal with my autism, and how this diagnosis doesn’t stop me from living my best life as the piping hot woman I am.

Early Signs

Since I was a little girl, my parents and I both knew I processed information a little differently. I’d constantly withdraw from social events, repeat phrases two or three times after hearing them, and sometimes react adversely or inappropriately in certain situations, misreading social cues. 

As quiet and withdrawn as I was, I also had an out-of-pocket, unique sense of humor that quickly pegged me as the class clown. I said things that most people wouldn’t think to say, and as a middle schooler, one friend told me, “You’re so funny, but sometimes I think you’re on drugs.” 

Could I Be On The Spectrum?

My mom had researched Asperger's Syndrome in my youth and while we don’t typically use that term anymore (Asperger was not a great guy), we knew I had shared some tendencies with certain children with the Syndrome. While the symptoms were there, I wasn’t tested as a child, as pediatricians said my behaviors may be something I’d grow out of. 

As I grew up, I was often called weird and quirky and preferred to keep my social circle small and intimate. I wasn’t always interested in what everyone else was, but when I did pick up a special interest, I went down internet rabbit holes researching everything I could about it. Once I started talking about something I liked, it was hard to “turn talk”, or turn the mic to another person for them to share. That’s a blessing for writing articles, but not so much for everyday conversation. 

Self-Soothing

In stressful situations, I would self-soothe with repetitive physical motions (usually with my hands) or remain completely still and silent. I remember wishing I could “crack the code” to life, that I could communicate and understand the way most other people do. Sometimes, the world felt loud and overwhelming, and my body would react by tensing up or doing something uncommon, like coughing uncontrollably. 

Identifying with the Princess and The Basket Case 

You may have heard that autistic people sometimes like comparing real-life scenarios to scenes from books and movies. I relate to this and parallel my autistic experience to identifying with two characters in The Breakfast Club: Claire (The Princess) and Allison (The Basket Case). 

While I’ve suffered from bouts of cystic acne both as a teenager and an adult, I generally fit the beauty standard. I’m not claiming any credit for this; I had no control over the body and face I was born with. All I’m saying is that outward beauty has not been the greatest struggle for me. 

So I related to Claire in that sense. She had a certain “pretty privilege” that acted in her favor, but also tempted people to jump to conclusions about her character.

On the other hand, Allison takes in the world around her in an unconventional way, using strange art forms to express herself and her ideas.

My High School Masking Era 

In high school, I was an interesting mix of pretty and weird, and in my small private school, people didn’t know where I fit in. I had friends, but I wasn’t exactly prom queen popular or a Burton-level artistic genius. At the time, it was isolating. 

However, as we grow and mature, go to college, start jobs, develop relationships, etc., our juvenile masks start to come off, and we slowly share our complexities with the world. Think about it. A Barbie-loving, pink-wearing woman could bench-press 140, and her able arms don't make her any less ladylike. Similarly, if I have a different brain, my neurodivergence doesn't take away from my womanly nature or frankly, my hotness.

Better Late Than Never 

In 2024, I decided to see if my speculations were right, if I had autism or some other kind of neurological condition. After weeks of cognitive testing, the psychiatrist showed that some traits I have align with those on the ASD spectrum, and shared tips for how to advocate for myself.

I’m lucky enough to be on the higher-functioning side, but I still have some triggers that can contribute to slightly abnormal reactions. When I was younger, I’d mask certain tendencies. For example, if I found a loud noise extremely bothersome, I’d grin and bear it. Now, I usually dismiss myself from any situation that I find overwhelming. Of course, emergencies are different and require you to persevere despite discomfort. But for the most part, if my intuition tells me to step away from a situation for five minutes, everyone is better off because of it. 

The “Weird Girl” to “Pretty Girl” Pipeline 

In my experience, going from the weird girl to the pretty girl means being so confident in what you offer that you don’t let negative self-image rob you of your magnetism. 

But as Chanel Savy explains it, we’re “excused from being weird when we’re pretty”, and that many of us neurodivergent girls work on our aesthetic to capitalize on this loophole. 

As much as we hate to admit it, outward beauty does matter. While my genetics play a role in my looks, optimizing my health through nutrition and exercise and my appearance through flattering makeup and a solid personal style has helped people see me and listen to what I say.  

I’ve found that putting an effort into my appearance and learning to communicate effectively with others has only helped to honor my unique mind, not dismiss it. 

Representation for Traditional Women with Autism 

To reiterate the start of this piece, I don’t plan on changing the world and having them accommodate me. In my world, family and my close circles (not the general public) are the biggest and best support I can get, and a belief in a perfect higher power reassures me that I was given my strengths, weaknesses, and trials for a greater purpose. 

That said, having ASD and being traditionally minded can be a little lonely. It’s time we saw unapologetically feminine, nurturing, virtuous women (aka HOTTIES) who happen to have autistic traits on our magazine covers and movie screens. Let’s go, girls!