Couples Who Met Online Are More Likely To Divorce—How To Beat The Odds If You’re One Of Them

Chances are, if you’re exploring today’s online dating climate, you’ve met your fair share of singles who seem to fit the bill, and you soon picture yourself walking down the aisle with that ideal match. 

That wonderful guy from Hinge, after dating exclusively for a number of months, asks you to marry him, and you happily oblige. You begin looking at choice honeymoon spots and will finally get to use those trusty mileage points for free airfare. All is golden. 

It’s a dream come true. And despite what experts have recently discovered concerning divorce rates among couples who meet online, a great marriage between two people can and will endure when you can stay happy and committed.

What if you meet your partner online and you have concerns about divorce, though? How can you beat the odds and prevent it from happening to you?

Why Are People Who Meet Online More Likely To Divorce?

According to the Marriage Foundation, meeting online is now the popular route to marriage, representing 28% of all weddings since they began chronicling their findings in 2017. And they state it comes at a cost: “Couples who meet online are statistically more likely to divorce in the first three years of marriage than couples who met socially or through family and friends.”

They went on to conclude, however, that these risks disappear after three years of marriage and that it shouldn’t dissuade you from meeting people online, which is good news.

In this day and age, with divorce rates overall on the rise, many people feel disheartened at the prospect of marriage and the possibility of divorce. 

Divorce statistics don’t paint the whole picture, but they do accomplish painting marriage in a bad light. 

You must remain focused on your marriage, how it fits into your life, and what you wish to accomplish together as a couple, not on divorce statistics. Divorce statistics don’t paint the whole picture, but they do accomplish painting marriage in a bad light. 

Divorce may be on the rise, but marriage is a foremost human pursuit that can provide couples with many benefits they dare not highlight nor discuss among these statistics. And perhaps we should start asking why?

Less Social Capital and Lack of Social Support in Couples Who Meet and Marry Online

Before the advent of online dating, people relied more upon in-person introductions to likely mates in almost all spheres of romantic social interaction. People were often introduced to potential love interests through family connections, close friends, and associates. A close-knit community among both parties supporting their choices in celebration of an upcoming marriage was a very advantageous and practical social tool for couples to fall back on. 

However, there’s always been the hazard of intrusive family members and close friends who seem well-intentioned but may interfere with the dynamics of a marriage. Toxic mothers-in-law, for example, can present a real problem for couples who find themselves on the frontlines of a familial battlefield, perhaps unbeknownst to them, until after the wedding day, and it can put a strain on a marriage.

A study published by the Evolutionary Psychological Science Journal found a whopping 44% of both men and women found themselves in conflict with their mothers-in-law. “This genetic conflict may cause affines (in-laws) to disagree about the distribution of resources and investment, just as we see mothers and fathers disagreeing in these domains,” the authors wrote. “Our results are consistent with the hypothesis that genetic conflict may underlie negative social interactions that occur in affinal (in-law) relationships.”

Thus, it’s important to take into consideration that well-meaning social support from family members and close friends presents its own unique set of challenges, and it’s not a guarantee that your marriage will flourish under the strain of these clashes, which are fairly commonplace.

When you find yourself entangled in familial conflicts with your spouse’s family members, remember they are not your spouse. The couple can and should always work together, separate from any outside interference. It’s all about placing higher priority on both people’s wants and needs together within the marriage, and putting those who may interfere with the couple’s happiness on the back burner.

Keeping a Marriage Together and Intact Regardless of Limiting Social Parameters

Any great marriage can last despite how you may have met, whether online or offline. The key is to ensure that you both have shared values and have goals for marriage that you are willing to pursue enthusiastically together. 

For different couples, that can mean different things. For example, some choose to live away from family and their local communities and embrace life abroad. And those couples may even find themselves bonding further by leaning into the support they can offer each other individually where there might not be available social support otherwise. 

The technology has changed, but the institution of marriage has not. 

Connect Couples Theory shares, “Wherever you find yourselves, and whatever the context of your move, know that there is daily opportunity to turn towards your partner as you walk through this experience. Many couples grow closer as a result, because it requires deliberate awareness and intention to transition effectively. There are particular aspects of living abroad that cannot be replicated by staying in your familiar home environment. It is both delightful and difficult at times. May your closeness shelter you, and may you discover joy in the experience together.”

The bottom line is marriage is what you make of it, and the main focus should be that you both agree to work together as a team and have complete honesty, open communication, shared goals and values, and the willingness to understand each other’s wants and needs in the marriage. 

A lasting marriage is about how you both feel about each other, regardless of your outside surroundings. Whether a close-knit support system is important to you or whether you choose to have fewer people around you, possibly interfering in your marriage in positive or negative ways, is a personal choice. 

Marriage is primarily about you and your spouse. Always keep that in mind and stay focused on each other and achieving your goals to remain committed together.

Closing Thoughts

Beating the odds in divorce for any couple should be your mutual objective where, year after year, you both remain committed to honoring your marriage vows, working to come up with solutions to everyday problems, big or small, as they may arise, and working as a cohesive unit that can withstand any outside influences. 

In this technological age, people have infinite opportunities to find marital happiness with that perfect mate they may not have had a chance to meet 50 years ago. The technology has changed, but the institution of marriage has not. 

Be committed to always celebrating and honoring your marriage for the beautiful bond and connection it is and sharing your lives together in harmony. That has always been and will always be the key to beating the odds and avoiding divorce. 

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