Dealing With Your Boyfriend's "Girl Friends"

To combat the tensions you may feel having your significant other surrounded by women in different environments, whether it be in his work or personal environments, consider these approaches to dealing with it:

Be Transparent

Let your significant other know of your concerns. Do not start by blaming them because they can't necessarily control their work environments. Lead with, “I feel uncomfortable because you have a lot of female coworkers and it makes me anxious because they may hit on you and not know that you are in a committed relationship.”

By telling him how you feel and bringing up how the women might not be aware of his relationship status, you aren't accusing him of being disloyal or unfaithful, but instead highlighting the way you perceive the situation and how it affects you. Your significant other may not know you have a problem with how many female coworkers he has, so you want to be sure to communicate your feelings.

Your significant other may not know you have a problem with how many female coworkers he has, so you want to be sure to communicate your feelings.

Your significant other would also benefit from you letting him know how you feel because it is essential to have an awareness of how you interact with the opposite gender. In some cases, friendliness in one’s party’s opinion may be received as flirtation another. Especially in a culture where people are very aware of #MeToo, it's important for your significant other to make his intentions completely clear and known to his coworkers when interacting with coworkers of the opposite of sex. Communication and transparency with each other can help strengthen your relationship and is something to work on constantly together.

Be Confident in Yourself

There is a reason why your significant other is with you. He is not forced to spend time with you, but he chooses to and wants to go on continuous dates. You're not just a friend or a coworker - there is something about you that is distinct. He chose you. Have confidence in his decision and know that you're worthy of his affection. Be sure to also take care of yourself so that you feel good about yourself because when you feel good about yourself, you are less likely to experience paranoia or blow things out of proportion.

Have Guy Friends

Maybe they are your coworkers with whom you laugh and talk about current events or maybe its guys on your intramural soccer team. In either case, be sure to make sure your significant other knows you spend time with guys in your sphere so that he can understand where you are coming from when addressing your concerns about women in the workplace or his friend group. Your intention is not to make him jealous but rather to heighten awareness. If this does not work and ends up creating hostility, resort to the above advice.

Be sure to make sure your significant other knows you spend time with guys in your sphere.

Have Couple Friends

Both you and your significant other can spend time together with friends of the opposite sex by having couple friends. Couple friends allow you to enjoy the company of others while also being with your significant other. You and your significant other can participate in fun dates with your couple friends or rewarding activities that make positive memories. Having couple friends also allows you simultaneously to have the security of still spending time with your significant other, which protects the integrity of your relationship. Finally, intentionally carving out time with couple friends allows you both to spend quality time with other people whom you would not otherwise experience, thus enhancing and enriching your relationship.

Closing Thoughts

Trust in your gut and your ability to identify the real red flags in your relationship. While a little bit of insecurity is standard when you think about who your significant other spends time with, remind yourself that you are unique and don't compare yourself to others. Focus on what you offer the relationship and how valuable you are because most likely your significant other thinks you’re so valuable that you shouldn’t even worry.