Demi Lovato Decided To Give Up They/Them Pronouns Because "It Was Absolutely Exhausting"

Demi Lovato, a renowned singer, songwriter, and actress, first made waves in Hollywood with her role in Disney Channel's Camp Rock in 2008. Her successful transition to a music career was marked by chart-topping hits like "Skyscraper" and "Sorry Not Sorry." However, Lovato's career journey has been intertwined with personal struggles. In 2010, she entered rehab for issues related to eating disorders, self-harm, and drug abuse, subsequently revealing her bipolar disorder diagnosis. She has bravely navigated her journey to sobriety, enduring a near-fatal overdose in 2018 that led to another stint in rehab.

While facing these challenges, Lovato has also told her fans that she's been exploring her gender identity. In May 2021, she publicly came out as non-binary and adopted they/them pronouns, but would also sometimes use she/her pronouns. Her discussions about gender identity have been met with much backlash, resulting in many people pointing out how silly and privileged she can seem sometimes. But her popularity remains, and now she has come forward to explain why she is giving up the they/them pronouns indefinitely.

Demi Lovato Decided To Give Up They/Them Pronouns Because "It Was Absolutely Exhausting"

In a recent interview with GQ Hype Spain, Lovato candidly discussed her decision to revert to she/her pronouns after previously identifying as non-binary and asking that people use they/them pronouns in reference to her. The decision, Lovato explained, emerged out of a sense of exhaustion from constantly having to educate others about her non-binary identity and pronoun choice. She simply "got tired" of having to always tell people what they/them pronouns even meant.

“Constantly having to explain why I identified with those pronouns was absolutely exhausting. I just got tired. But for that very reason, I know that it is important to continue spreading the word,” said Lovato. The ongoing necessity to clarify her identity, coupled with the lack of gender-neutral public spaces, underscored Lovato's struggles with her gender identity.

Public spaces, particularly bathrooms, apparently posed daily challenges for Lovato, who says she does not feel entirely aligned with the so-called binary gender labels. Additionally, she expressed frustration with the rigidity of gender options on forms and government documents, which do not resonate with her own fluid sense of identity.

“It also happens when filling out forms, such as government documents or any other where you have to specify your gender," she said. "You only have two options, male and female, and I feel like none of that makes sense to me.”

Lovato has been open about her gender identity struggle for some time. In her March 2021 Glamour cover story, she mentioned knowing her identity but awaiting a "specific timeline" to publicly share her journey. Subsequently, in May 2021, she publicly came out as "non-binary" in an Instagram video, stating, “I am proud to let you know that I identify as non-binary and will officially be changing my pronouns to they/them moving forward.”

However, in August 2022, the “Cool for the Summer” singer announced a shift back to using she/her pronouns on the Spout podcast. Describing herself as a "fluid person," Lovato explained that her gender experience transcends binary constructs. The frustration of not having a bathroom that aligned with her identity emphasized her feelings of being human, beyond the traditional labels of man or woman.

"I felt like, especially last year, my energy was balanced and my masculine and feminine energy so that when I was faced with the choice of walking into a bathroom and it said, ‘women’ and ‘men,’ I didn’t feel like there was a bathroom for me because I didn’t feel necessarily like a woman. I didn’t feel like a man. I just felt like a human. And that’s what they/them is about. For me, it’s just about feeling human at your core,” she expressed.

Last year, Lovato said on the Spout podcast that it's important to realize that nobody is perfect, especially when it comes to using someone's preferred pronouns. “Everyone messes up pronouns at some point, and especially when people are learning. It’s just all about respect," she said. And yet she still decided that they/them pronouns were too confusing for the people around her, and now she's back to she/her.

Lovato has a knack for blowing things out of proportion and making it seem like her life is so difficult, especially when it comes to trivial things like filling out paperwork. Normal people are worried if they'll be able to pay next month's bills, and Lovato is whining about the fact that she has to choose between "man" or "woman" on a government document. It's reminiscent of the time when she had a meltdown over a family-owned frozen yogurt shop in LA because they displayed sugar-free cookies in their shop. She found it to be offensive to people like her who struggle with eating disorders, and so she went on a tirade against this mom-and-pop shop on Instagram. Celebrities like Lovato remind us how out of touch these Hollywood types are, and how they are constantly inventing new problems to be outraged over. Of course, Lovato had a hard time getting people to abide by they/them pronouns. It's a patently absurd ask for normal, everyday people with common sense to refer to one person as if she's multiple human beings.

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