Culture

Elliot Page Says She Had "Severe Panic Attacks And Collapsed" Because She Couldn't Stand Being A Woman Anymore

Elliot Page, formerly known to the world as Ellen Page, came out as gay in 2014, but it apparently wasn't enough for her to feel comfortable in her own skin. In December 2020, she also revealed that she was "transitioning."

By Gina Florio2 min read
Elliot page
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Page has starred in fan favorites such as Juno, and she's currently starring in The Umbrella Academy. She has been especially outspoken about being transgender; she has also undergone top surgery and hormone therapy. Although Page is starting to look slightly more like a man, her latest interview with Esquire only highlights how much sadness and depression she experienced when she decided to "transition."

Elliot Page Says She Had "Severe Panic Attacks and Collapsed"

Page covered all sorts of topics in her interview, from her love for soccer as a kid to her daily ritual of sitting down to write every morning. She also shared how difficult it was for her to wear a dress when she was doing press for the 2007 comedy Juno. She recalls feeling anxious about the fact that she was going to grow old as a woman.

"When Juno was at the height of its popularity, during awards-season time, I was closeted, dressed in heels and the whole look—I wasn’t okay, and I didn’t know how to talk about that with anyone," she said. "I wish people would understand that that sh*t literally did almost kill me."

She revealed that she "struggled with food" and had "intense depression, anxiety, severe panic attacks." Page couldn't function normally and was finding it hard to even read through a script.

"Can I relate to the suicide problem among trans people? Yeah, I can relate deeply," she said. "And not only to the very conscious, direct act of doing it, but also certain times when I lost so much weight or when I was having such severe panic attacks and collapsed multiple times—all these things that very easily could, and statistically do, lead to death."

She thinks it was "f*cked up" that Michael Cera got to wear pants and sneakers to Juno appearances when she felt pressured into wearing a dress.

Page also talked about how much she hates it when comedians joke about trans people. "Jokes have an impact that hurts people," she claimed. "I understand that people might think it doesn’t. I understand that they’re not meaning to."

"They believe it. It’s clearly not a joke," she continued. "And all we’re saying is: Can you just please listen and understand the harm that it causes? That’s all we’re trying to say. That is literally all we are trying to say. And then we get inundated with hatred for saying it."

This entire interview sadly reveals just how troubled Page has always been and continues to be. While she claims to feel excited that she's finally "transitioned" into being a man, it's clear for the world to see that there's pain in her eyes and she continues to be internally tormented with her gender identity.