Everything You Need To Know Before Getting A Perm, From A Girl Who's Done It 3 Times

During my freshman year of college, I bought a cheap perm kit from Walmart and accepted my friend’s offer to help me perm my hair. Fortunately, we didn’t have time the night we planned to do it, and I chickened out after thinking about it further. Generally, I weigh risks carefully, but there are a few instances in which my hair has been an exception. While I’m grateful I didn’t perm my hair on a whim my freshman year of college using an impossibly inexpensive home kit from Walmart, I’m also here to clear perms of their reputation of being solely for grandmas or women who are okay trashing their hair with a $15 DIY kit. 

Over three years later, after I had graduated from college, I again decided to pursue a perm – but this time, I knew better than to consider doing it myself. I had weighed the pros and cons of perming my hair and decided it was worth the risk. My biggest fear was looking like a poodle when everything was said and done, but my internet research convinced me there were some perm options that wouldn’t leave me in dire straits. 

One of my previous bold hair moves was going from very long hair to a shoulder-length bob the summer before my senior year of college (it was really only bold because my college was in a tiny town, and I went to a salon I had never been to and let a woman I didn’t know chop off around nine inches of my hair). Fortunately, I loved it, and I figured the stylist who cut my hair would be a good choice for my perm. We did a consultation, and I brought in several pictures of what I liked and what I didn’t like. I told her I was afraid of the ultra-tight, frizzy perm look that made all of our mothers denounce perms for eternity. 

You can imagine my disappointment then when I showed her the pictures, and she remarked that many of the photos were actually just pictures of people who had curled their hair or had naturally curly hair. Others were wigs. When I showed her the pictures of what I didn’t like, she told me honestly that those were more representative of what a perm would look like. I began to have an uneasy feeling that maybe this whole adventure was not everything I had hoped it would be. 

I ended up finding a stylist at another salon who was more confident that a perm could successfully meet my expectations. Of course, I was more realistic by this time, but I still had aspirations and a general vision. The process took longer than I expected, but I remember the boost of confidence my perm gave me from the first day, and I’m pretty sure I even remarked that I felt like I had Julia Roberts-esque hair. I’ve learned some important lessons in the two plus years since I got my first perm, so allow me to share some questions and advice worth considering.

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Cover Your Bases – Your Hair Will Thank You 

Your hair is important, and I certainly am not advocating that you throw caution to the wind. While I believe that perms are a wonderful option for many girls, I also recognize that it’s important to weigh potential pros and cons.  

The biggest question to think about involves your hair’s history. Have you treated your hair before? I had what they call “virgin hair” (weird term, I know. It simply means  “untreated”), and because of this, the perming process was not as devastating to my hair, especially the first time I permed it. If you have consistently dyed your hair, you will need to speak to your stylist and ask if a perm will be overly harsh on your hair. 

Ask your stylist how comfortable she is with perms. Some cosmetologists are simply more competent and comfortable with perms. The stylist I went to enjoys the perming process, but others do not. Gauge the comfort level and enthusiasm of your stylist before proceeding. To be perfectly candid, the age of your stylist might have to do with this as well. My stylist was middle-aged, and she said she had seen perms come in and out of popularity. She told me that many younger stylists are either uncomfortable or uninterested in perms. Of course, that is not universal, but it is something to consider. I appreciated the honesty of the other stylist – the one who helped me with my bob the summer before. Because she was willing to tell me her comfort level with perms, it allowed me to make the right choice for me and my hair. 

One thing that is very important to consider is how tightly your stylist wraps your hair. Ask about the kinds of rods and solution your stylist plans to use. How loose or tight will the curls fall? Make sure you bring pictures with you of what you are envisioning. That will help your stylist decide which size rods to use to achieve the desired effect. Keep in mind that sometimes a tighter perm may have long-term benefits. For example, I have had three perms, and the first two I wanted looser – which also meant they started falling more quickly. I needed to re-perm after only six months or so. The last perm I got however, we decided to go tighter, and this one has lasted me for over a year. It has loosened, and because it has grown out, only the ends are curly now, but I’m still able to manage it in a way that makes me feel confident. 

To that end, know that there are two main types of perms: traditional and digital. Because I have only had traditional perms, I admittedly don’t know much about digital perms, but I find the concept fascinating. Digital perms, or “hot perms,” were created for fine, Asian hair. Digital perms are created to give bigger, softer waves instead of the classic curl that accompanies a traditional perm. 

If you’re concerned about the chemicals used in perms, there are alternative options. Some salons offer organic (or at least natural) perm options. While I didn’t pursue this option, it might be a worthy choice depending on any health concerns you may have with the chemicals present in a standard perm. If you pursue a more natural perm, ask for pictures of results so you can verify it holds up to your expectations. Just remember that not everything that says “perm” in the caption is really a perm. Still, there are some fabulous examples of perms done well, and there are some social media accounts that show real clients and their pre and post perm looks. 

Lastly, consider your personality. I know that sounds silly, but it’s true. I remember being at a PT appointment and the receptionist chatting with me and telling me she loved my hair. She joked about how she was sure I hated having to deal with it as a kid, but that it was so beautiful. I admitted to her that it was a perm, and there have been several instances since where people have loved my hair and are shocked to find out these aren’t my natural locks. One of my family friends remarked to me that curly hair seems right for my personality, and that has stuck with me. 

Embrace the Curly Girl Lifestyle 

Take the time and learn to be a curly girl! I enjoyed exploring different products and finding what worked well for my hair. Some of my favorites include the LUS Love your Curls shampoo, conditioner, and styler. To be honest, I think the all-in-one styler is the best of the three, and I now typically buy that as a standalone. I also love the Not Your Mother's Curl Talk Cream. Their shampoo and conditioner are also very good. At this point in time, I’m focusing on a shampoo and conditioner that are good for my scalp health and use the LUS styling cream. 

While the chemicals in a perm are damaging to your hair, so is using a curling iron day in and day out. Plus, once you have permed your hair and learned your rhythm, you save so much time on styling! When your hair is first permed, a spritz with water and some quick scrunching gives you a nearly effortless boost. Now that my perm has softened, on non-wash days I opt to leave it dry, as I like the way the curls fall on the days between washes. 

Growing your perm back out will take time and patience. Don’t expect it to be a quick process, but it can also be fun if you embrace it. As you learn to roll with the change from curly hair back to your natural locks, there is something rewarding about learning to still style it in a flattering way. I have been using a Kitsch heatless curling set for as little as 10 minutes at a time to enhance the curls I have left. 

Closing Thoughts 

While I have decided to go back to my natural hair for a bit, I fully intend to get another perm in the future. I’ve found having a perm to be an exciting change, and it certainly has been a fun and low-stakes way to elevate my style and invest in a new adventure. If you’ve considered a perm but have been nervous about the stereotypes, please take it from me that it’s possible to end up with a hairstyle you love.