Getting Married Soon? We Asked Evie Wives For Their Best Wedding Advice—Here’s What They Shared

The wedding day begins in preparation months before you wake up on your pillow and realize excitedly like Monica from the TV show Friends: “I’m getting married today!” On the day of, you don’t want to be stressed out of your mind, faintish, snippy or super anxious, so here are some thoughts, in case you want to be proactive.

The Wives Have Spoken

• Take Care of You

“Hydrate and eat—easy to say but often hard to remember, but you don’t want or get woozy or tipsy after your first drink! Buy a cute bridal water bottle, squeeze some lemon or mix in some electrolytes, sip it throughout the day, starting early in the morning. Munch on some protein.”

“Eat—have a good protein breakfast (though nothing heavy or anything that might bloat you), munch on some light protein like rotisserie chicken or shrimp (charcuterie is high in sodium which might make you feel swollen, so a little bit goes a long way). Also, don’t forget to enjoy the food you (or your parents) paid for! Many couples are so busy talking to guests that they forget to actually eat and enjoy the food and cake.”

“Spend the day before focusing on you and relaxing. Try to let go of the stress.” This is the perfect time to book that over-the-top massage you've been wanting!

“Enjoy your day, because once it’s there, it’s there. No need to stress on your day, enjoy and smile as often as you can.”

• Savor the Moments

“The day passes by so fast, so remember to pause, look around, store little memory clips, appreciate details, and smell the roses, literally.”

“Breathe and remember that your wedding is simply a celebration of your love with your partner.”

• It’s Your Wedding

“It’s your and your fiancé’s wedding day, no one else’s. So, there’s no one else to please. If your parents are helping to pay for the wedding, or paying entirely, they should be understanding that you have your own tastes; don’t let your mother or anyone else dominate and create their version of your special day.”

“You don’t have to do what everyone else does. Do your own thing!”

“Remember it’s your day and you don’t have to please everyone else.”

“It’s impossible to make everyone happy.”

“Don’t let others’ opinions of your wedding bother you. Enjoy your own wedding.”

“Don’t share your plans with anybody except your fiancé and maybe your mom/dad. You don’t want to tell your guests to expect things at your wedding and then somewhere down the line, it ends up not happening—this can cause people confusion or unnecessary gossip. Just keep it simple, answer important questions like what time, how to dress, any questions about wedding details like what will be served, etc. For anything else, you tell them they will have to wait and see!”

“Don’t feel bad about not inviting people you aren’t close with—including extended family.”

“Be extremely honest when planning. If you’re hiring a makeup artist/hair stylist, don’t hold back on corrections. Be honest and make sure that it’s something you like—don’t worry too much about how your guests will receive it. At the end of the day, they will always have something to say but the only opinion that matters is yours and your fiancé’s. this is the time to be “mean”—speak up for yourself! Also, do not feel bad about inviting certain people. Make a priority list and a 'back up' list for last minute cancellations. Just because you were best friends in high school/college (but haven’t spoken in 4-5 years) doesn’t mean you need to invite them.”

• Let Go of Little Details

“It’s just one day; don’t take everything personally, and don’t be controlling.”

“Have fun, imperfect is better than boring, talk to people during dinner, focus on God and each other.”

“Chat personally with each table—don’t hide away from guests.”

“Don’t stress about little things like the pen for the guest book (brides tend to stress even the most minute details).” You’d be surprised how such a little thing takes up unnecessary space in the brain.

Is A Wedding Planner Worth It?

Is it worth the cost to hire a wedding planner? Votes on social media came in at 50/50. It really comes down to personal preference and schedule, guest list, and budget.

“A wedding planner is worth it depending on the size and event of your wedding. I believe it is worth it if you are trying to plan a big production; however, if it is on a smaller scale then it is totally doable to do without hiring a planner. And if you are someone who thrives on planning and scheduling and have great organization skills, you can probably plan a big wedding without one. But overall, in my opinion, hiring a planner is worth it since this is an industry I’m not knowledgeable about, and a good wedding planner will create a dream team and make you feel like a guest at your own wedding.”

“I think a wedding planner is worth it, although my church/venue provided one included within the fees and for an affordable price. I don’t think you should overpay for a wedding planner. Mine was also an older woman with a lot of experience and connections, so it’s better to stick with someone who’s been in the business a long time rather than someone who is new and focuses on short-lived trends.”

“If you can’t afford a planner, hire a day of coordinator.”

What Is Something To Invest In?

• Quality Photography

Hands down, the most popular response was a good photographer! As was mentioned, “The day goes by so fast, and you want quality pictures to look back on.” 

“If you splurge on one thing, let it be a photographer.”

“Literally my biggest regret was going with an amateur.”

“Invest in good photography—it’s the only thing you’ll have years down the road.”

“Photography is probably the most important investment for a wedding. After the day is over, that is the only thing you and your husband will have left. Make sure you hire a photographer that resonates well with you. There are many kinds of style and editing a photographer may have. One that is cheaper may not exactly have the vision you feel they can capture.”

• Good Food

This was definitely the second most popular investment item mentioned. Sometimes a budget demands simple food options, but if you’re able to, as one contributor simply put it: “Give your guests a good meal.” After all, some people may have traveled out of state or maybe even across the country and given up their whole weekend to celebrate your special day, so it seems fair to feed them well.

“ALWAYS invest in the open bar. People have diverse tastes in alcohol.”

• Makeup/Hair Stylist

It’s the day for immortalizing your bridal look in the beautiful pictures you’ll have for the rest of your life and generations after you—you want to love your look and not look back and wish you just bit the bullet and hired the stylists. Even if you don’t pay for your bridesmaids’ hair and makeup, you can at least have your own done and pinch pennies elsewhere.

“Invest in photography, food, and makeup artist.”

• Practical

“Dancing shoes and after party dress.”

“Rent an Airbnb for close friends or family traveling or just as a space to hang as a wedding party.”

What Is A Popular Item or Activity That Isn’t Necessary?

Or maybe it's not worth the hassle or cost, or you're simply uninterested, even if it’s a “tradition” or a popular wedding detail? Here are some hot takes:

• Garter Toss

“Garter toss: receptions nowadays charge you extra for additional hours, so you don’t want to waste your time with silly (inappropriate lol) moments. I think that moments that take up time (not counting the first dance, cake cutting, etc.) from the reception are going to go out of style.”

“Garter toss: it just gets awkward especially if you have children attending the reception.”

• Favors

“Hot take: wedding favors. A lot of people forget to take them and forget what the party favors were at a wedding.”

• Extras

“Party bus, reception dresses (you wear it for one day, ladies), favors, opening gifts with people.”

“Bridal parties! We stood alone and didn’t feel like anything was missing from our ceremony.”

“Hiring a DJ: make a playlist ahead of time, bring in speakers, and have a sibling or outgoing relative be a minimalist MC. Most DJs have the same mediocre playlist anyway.”

“A super pricey white dress. Wear what makes you feel beautiful.”

Did you know that the average spend on a wedding dress is between $1,800-2,400? Most women will opt for the traditional white (or close to it), but there is plenty of room for personalization without the need for spending an impractical amount on a dress that you will wear only once and for less than 24 hours. You can still look like a fairytale bride without going into debt (although if you can easily afford it, go ahead and buy your dream dress, if you’ll regret not doing so later).

Budgeting Tips

“Use an excel sheet to track your finances. Hire local makeup artists.” Organization will be your wallet’s best friend.

“Buffet over served meal.”

“Borrow a wedding dress (super hot take, didn’t follow).”

“Limit flowers.”

“Outdoor venue like a park and rent tents.”

“Don’t do a rehearsal dinner. Put that money towards the wedding.” I went to a wedding where the couple arranged for the bridal party and family to hang out at a place that was a grocery store with restaurants and bars and eating areas, like an upscale food hall, after the rehearsal. It seemed like a fun and practical idea, and everyone could buy whatever they wanted.

“If you can, discuss with vendors if they have a payment plan. If your wedding is a year from today, try paying out to the vendors in small payments throughout the year so that when the day arrives, either there is a small balance left, or everything is paid off. This has helped us out a lot. Some vendors may say no and prefer to be paid in full the day/week of the wedding, so just make sure you and your fiancé set aside funds, create a binder of these things. Print out every single transaction made each month and write down reminding balances. Money is a sensitive topic to others, but I cannot express enough how much this has helped us out.” 

“Don’t bring wedding debt and drama into the marriage. It’s just one day, not worth anyone going into debt over. The marriage is what matters.”

Big Wedding Vs. Small Wedding

The size of your gathering is obviously up to personal preference and budget—there is no right or wrong option. Regardless of cost, some individuals may choose a smaller wedding for the sake of intimacy, valuing quality over quantity. 

• Small Wedding

This won the majority vote. Here are some thoughts: 

“Save money for your honeymoon and life together.”

“A small wedding (to me) is a 100 people or less. I think in this economy, that is going to be the norm, but I don’t necessarily see it in a bad way. Weddings are supposed to be with people you have real connection with—not just because you want to throw a party.”

• Big Wedding

This can be a ton of fun if you can afford it and need or want to include a lot of people. At this point though, go ahead and hire that wedding planner discussed earlier. It also depends on family size; think of the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding…

“I had a lot of family, and it was a way to make it extra special and include them.”

“I’m conflicted because I like the idea of a small wedding that’s intimate, but I’m team go big or go home! I think a wedding celebration is one of the most important days in someone’s life and it’s special to share it with everyone that genuinely loves you. It’s beautiful to witness from family and friends’ point of view.”

Honeymoon Ideas

Beach or mountains? Countryside or city? So many options, but there’s something for everyone! Here are some honeymoon thoughts wives have shared:

“Splurge on a fancy hotel/resort, somewhere you’d never go otherwise.” 

“Take two weeks if possible.”

“Do a ‘mini moon’ to get away but save the big honeymoon for a less stressful time!” 

• International

Italy—historic culture, romantic setting, some of the best food in the world, beach or mountains, cities or countryside. Avoid touristy Rome, opt for the dreamy Amalfi Coast and romantic Tuscany.

Portugal—an easy flight from NYC, DC, or Miami, welcoming people, rich in culture, good food, coastal areas and beautiful landscapes.

Japan—"Ishigaki, Japan…incredible at an all-inclusive stay.” And you know it’ll be safe and clean with great food.

• Tropical:

Hawaii—worth the long flight, no language barrier but still cultural and unique, has beaches and mountains, waterfalls and hikes, amazing food and tropical weather.

Maderia, Portugal—the Hawaii of Europe, easier travel for those living near the east coast.

Caribbean cruise—basically zero planning needed, tropical weather, touring islands.

Virgin Islands, Fiji, Florida Keys—all gorgeous honeymoon destinations for a relaxing vacay.

• Adventure:

Alaska—amazing in the summertime.

The Rockies—mountain cabins with gorgeous views and tons to do!

California—take your pick of beach resorts, vineyards, and mountains.

Smokies—mountain cabin, peaceful and adventurous, less travel for those living in the US.

Last Worries

Last minute anxieties add stress but are totally normal! Besides booking yourself a massage, here are some shared thoughts for your future mental notes:

“It’s just a moment, just one day.”

“Have a day of timeline.”

“Make sure you drink water and eat, give out tips to vendors.”

“Designate people (some bridal party and some not) for little tasks like remembering rings.”

“It’s impossible to make everyone happy.”

“Have someone else handle everything the day before and of the wedding.”

“Essentials are there, you’re good. People will deal, and no one’s paying attention to the little things!”

That's it, Ms. Bride-to-be! Now exhale, count your blessings like your fiancé, family, and friends who all wish you happiness, and smile. And don’t forget to pack breath mints.