Going Through A Bad Breakup? Here’s How You Can Have All The Feelings While Staying Classy

Here’s something that doesn’t get mentioned often enough: Breakups don’t really get easier. Because every relationship is unique from the last one, every heartbreak will be painful in its own way, requiring a different kind of healing. Having gone through one breakup does not a master of breakups make.

But there’s something the grand majority of breakups do have in common – they’re devastating, draining, and intense. The end of a relationship has the power to stir up all the emotions, from the ones that insist on throwing a pity party to the ones that are devising a plan to get him back to the ones that indignantly say, “He’ll never find another girl like me!”

Needless to say, experiencing such a whirlwind – nay, a rollercoaster of emotions will easily lead us down many a spiral, from randomly texting him late into the night to stalking him on social media to talking about him to anyone who happens to make eye contact. And while these spirals are understandable, we have a choice as to whether or not we fall victim to them.

It’s entirely possible to go through a breakup without giving up your dignity – to heal from heartbreak in a classy way. Want to know how?

Accept That It’s Over

If you weren’t the one to initiate a breakup, this means that not only are you licking the wounds created by a romance lost, but you’re struggling with the fact that this wasn’t even your choice. You didn’t want this breakup, he did. And this will naturally cause you to ask yourself the hopeful question: What if we get back together?

Sure, it’s not unheard of for exes to rekindle their romance. But this doesn’t mean it’s something you can count on or even manipulate into happening. Simply refusing to accept that a relationship has come to an end keeps you in an emotional limbo for much longer, rather than beginning the healing process, and it essentially ensures that your ex will feel the freedom to talk about his “crazy ex” who won’t let him go.

Stop Talking to Him

One of the most agonizing things about going through a breakup is the way it completely turns your world upside down. The person you used to be able to text all day, every day suddenly vanishes from your life. You suddenly aren’t allowed to talk to the guy you’d grown to lean on, love, and feel grounded by.

We’re not saying this is by any means an easy feat, but if you’re hoping to find a way to move on from this breakup with class, you have to cut off communication – not because you’re supposed to hate him now, but because continuing to come to him for anything will only complicate things. Your head might be grasping the fact that it’s over, but your heart won’t allow you to fully grasp that until he’s no longer a constant in your life.

Don’t Plaster It All Over Social Media

Social media, at times, feels like free therapy. We post a story about our woes and get replies from concerned friends and acquaintances. We write a vulnerable tweet about how we’re “going through something” and watch the supportive comments roll in. We feel the freedom to share things about our private life on Instagram and TikTok because they’re purely non-physical spaces that don’t really feel real.

So it’s hardly surprising that many would take to social media to open up about their breakup, posting about their heartbreak so as to find attention and encouragement. But with the exception of influencers who simply acknowledge a breakup (without offering specifics) after posting their relationship all over their feed, it’s in pretty bad taste to post about your breakup on social media.

The internet, as they say, is forever. What you post is being broadcast for all the world to see, have an opinion on, and pass along to the next person. The internet is not nearly as fleeting as your feelings, and it’s also not a private counseling session.

Don’t Trash Talk Him

A bad breakup can swiftly shift your opinion of him. One minute he was your one and only soulmate, and the next minute he’s the man who broke your heart. You feel hurt, blindsided, and abandoned. And you want everyone to know it and sit with you in the pain.

It might feel cathartic in the moment to trash talk him and vent to anyone who will listen, but feeding into a negative narrative about your ex will only breed bitterness, resentment, and anger. And why would you want to allow so much negativity to take root in your psyche?

Don’t Find a Rebound Guy

Sure, you miss him. But you also miss just having someone to talk to, someone to go out with, someone to text at three in the morning, someone to tell you how beautiful you are. You’re missing everything that came with having a boyfriend, to the point where you feel like you’re going through withdrawal. This is where the rebound guy comes in, the one who’ll fill the gap that your breakup left. But is it really such a good idea to get involved with another guy so soon?

We all secretly know that the answer to that question is no, and for a few reasons. First, your breakup has left you particularly emotionally vulnerable, making you more likely to make a mistake you’ll end up regretting. Second, the highs of a new relationship will distract you from the necessary healing process of the end of your old relationship. And third, your rebound guy is a human being – using him as your ticket to forgetting about your ex doesn’t treat him like one.

Focus on Yourself

Here comes the advice that every girl going through a breakup really doesn’t want to hear but really needs to: Focus on yourself. 

Being in a relationship will naturally take some of your focus away from yourself. And when the relationship is one that lasts, this isn’t a bad thing. But when the relationship doesn’t last, having more time to focus on yourself isn’t just a cruel reminder of your breakup – it’s also something you might have to reacquaint yourself with. 

You now have a lot more time to yourself. Instead of letting that get you down, see it as a gift. You get to enjoy time on your own. You get to explore different hobbies, cultivate deep friendships, invest in your career, and create a life for yourself that you truly love.

Closing Thoughts

Breakups can be utterly crushing. The emotional cocktail of hurt, embarrassment, and bitterness can lead to a lot of behavior you might end up regretting, or patterns that prove to be unhealthy and unhelpful to your healing process. No matter how painful the breakup is, there’s always a way to keep it classy.

Support our cause and help women reclaim their femininity by subscribing today.