Hailey Bieber Played The Long Game—And People Still Hate It

Hailey Bieber played 5D chess and won the game, but haters will call her a psychopathic stalker.

You're familiar with the story: Hailey followed Justin Bieber around for years (allegedly). She wore outfits that resembled Selena Gomez's. She showed up to many of his events and concerts. The teenage then-Baldwin tweeted about Jelena, seemingly tracking her now-husband and his ex’s every move. I have one question, though: Is all of that so bad? 

Let’s be honest – if you spent your teen years memorizing facts about One Direction and curating Pinterest boards titled "someday <3" like I was, Hailey wasn't doing anything all that unusual. The difference between us, the hopeless romantics, and Hailey is that her strategy worked – well, that and the fact that their entire history played out in public.

She actually married the man of her dreams; she gave birth to his child. Now he’s supporting her and she’s doing the same thing for the “Baby” singer. Usually, we’d call that commitment, but with Hailey, it's labeled as “creepy.”

The term "stalker" gets thrown around too casually, especially on social media. Was Hailey lurking in the bushes, planting AirTags on Justin's tour bus? No. Was the girl getting slapped with restraining orders? Again, no. Yeah, she was probably looking at his social media posts and wanted to be around him, but haven’t we all done that? 

Romantic Ambition Makes People Uncomfortable

We clap for women who climb the corporate ladder and fawn over female founders. Yet the moment that ambition turns romantic, as in a woman wanting a specific man, a specific lifestyle, a specific ring on a specific finger, everyone becomes incredibly squeamish. There's no difference between Hailey moodboarding her future husband and someone else creating a vision board for a Fortune 500 career. When you think about it from this point of view, it’s not much different than obsessively manifesting a CEO role or starting a business. In the end, it’s the same hustle.

Hailey strategized to build a stable, peaceful life with someone she genuinely loved. Hailey is now living in a mansion, running a beauty brand, growing a family, and living comfortably with a man she knows inside and out. Shouldn’t we be cheering for her? 

Before you slam this piece saying that Hailey had harmful “stalker” behavior, let’s get one thing straight: Justin wasn’t running for the hills. He’s brought her to church, kissed her at New Year’s. He proposed to her one month after rekindling their relationship – so whatever “game” she was playing, he clearly wanted in. You don’t keep inviting someone into your life over the span of a decade if you don’t like them. If Justin had ever said, "Please stop following me around and leave me alone," then yeah, it’d be a different conversation.  

They met in 2009 when Hailey was 13, Justin was 15, and her dad introduced them backstage at the Today Show. They had dinner, they went bowling, they stayed in touch. In 2014, they reconnected through Hillsong Church. By 2016, they were kissing on New Year’s and then denying it with carefully worded interviews. By 2018, they were engaged. By 2019, married.

People love to act like this came out of nowhere, that she just swooped in like some silent saboteur. But there was no trap. Hailey even clarified on Call Her Daddy: “No. Not one time.” when asked if she ever dated Justin while he was still with Selena.

“It’s not my character to mess with someone’s relationship,” she said. “I would just never do that. I was raised better than that.”

Why Do We Treat Love Like It Has To Be Accidental?

We have this idea that love has to be natural and that everyone meets at the right place and time. Falling in love is supposed to be easy, seamless. When you know, you know, and then you get married. That’s the story we’re sold, but not the one that Hailey represents. 

Hailey was intentional, perhaps even calculated, and that freaks people out. There’s something about a woman who plans her way into a life that makes people panic, because we’re supposed to stumble into love. We’re supposed to be surprised by it…but what if we’re not? What if we make it happen?  

Hailey knew what she wanted, and she hung around, waiting for Justin. Even Justin, in 2016, said, “What if Hailey ends up being the girl I’m gonna marry, right? If I rush into anything, if I damage her, then it’s always gonna be damaged.” Despite keeping him on the back of her mind, Hailey let Justin go for a little while and went for him when the timing was right. 

What about Selena? “All respect, all love,” Hailey said of her relationship with Selena Gomez. The Wizards of Waverly Place star is doing just fine without Justin, and we’re happy to see it. 

Closing Thoughts

You don’t have to like Hailey Bieber or be a fan of her, but maybe we should stop demonizing her for doing something that isn’t illegal or insane. She saw something she wanted, and she believed in it. Hailey was, dare I say, faithful. You need that level of grit, determination, and commitment to bring your dreams to life. In a world where women are constantly told to want less or to dim down their light, there’s something radical about a woman who wanted more and not apologizing for it.

Above all, Justin Bieber has benefitted from Hailey’s presence in his life. She knows him, like, knows him. She’s seen the trauma, the meltdowns, the breakups. She’s embraced being his wife, cooking for him on livestreams and helping him with his health and skincare. She didn’t flinch when things got hard.

He called her mother material then married her because he wanted a family and craved stability. And seven years later, he’s still with the girl everyone said was a mistake.