How Did Seduction Become Cringe?

It certainly wasn’t the first time that we’d seen a sexually explicit pop performance at an awards show, but it may have been the peak of our culture’s obsession with cheap sexuality. The performance went viral, and most people defended it as a beacon for feminism and boundaryless self-expression.

If anything, Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion reminded us that our culture has completely lost the art of tasteful sexuality. Virtually every movie, TV show, music video, and social media post is dripping with overly sexualized content, to the point where we have become completely desensitized to it. What used to be considered sexy is now considered modest or even prudish. It’s nearly impossible to watch a movie with a romantic storyline that doesn’t involve explicit nudity and sex scenes that aren’t appropriate for teens under 18 (and, quite frankly, make most adults feel uncomfortable). You can’t even open Instagram without being bombarded with some kind of half-nude photos, even from women who are just going to the gym. When you think about the kind of sexual content we saw in the 2000s and even the early 2010s, it’s easy to see how far we’ve gone off track.  

Seduction Used To Be an Art 

The romantic comedies of the 2000s and early 2010s featured some of the most memorable, beloved love stories, and it was uncommon to see sexually explicit scenes. Movies like 27 Dresses, Sweet Home Alabama, and How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days showed a couple falling for each other without raunchy sex or nudity. Even in Mr. and Mrs. Smith, we witnessed two extremely beautiful people seduce each other through espionage, dancing, and sultry glances. Angelina Jolie was sexy not because she was naked, but because of her energy and magnetism. Sirens of Hollywood like Monica Bellucci and Sophia Loren weren’t considered some of the sexiest women alive because they were showing their bodies and twerking in front of cameras. They were captivating, charming, impossibly beautiful women who maintained a level of mystery. 

Seduction, by definition, involves temptation, and temptation is far gone when you’re offering everything on a silver platter at the very beginning.

There was once something inexplicably attractive about a woman who maybe had a slit in her skirt or showed her décolletage. She didn’t have to expose her bare breasts, wear revealing clothes, or bend over and dance inappropriately in front of men in order to be desired. Seduction, by definition, involves temptation, and temptation is far gone when you’re offering everything on a silver platter at the very beginning. Even when it comes to romance, couples used to fall in love in much different ways than what we see today. The man would court a woman, take an interest in her desires and preferences, and go out of his way to make her feel special. The woman would, in turn, lure him in with her enchanting ways, beckoning glances, and perhaps a little bit of skin. It was a give and take, a conversation that anyone with half a heart used to love to watch on screen.

In 10 Things I Hate About You, a cult classic romantic comedy, Heath Ledger’s character did everything he could to win over Julia Stiles. Even though his intentions were originally to date her for pay, he ended up falling for her after getting to know her, learning about her interests and goals in life, and seeing her at her most vulnerable moments. Their relationship wasn’t based on sex, and she didn’t lure him in with nudity. Theirs was a tale of sweet seduction and innocent love. It’s nearly impossible to find such a love story in Hollywood like that today. 

Our Overtly Sexualized Culture Has Killed Seduction 

In today’s culture, women are encouraged to expose their sexuality at a very early stage in any relationship. In movies and TV shows, couples begin some sort of relationship with a one-night stand or casual sex. We’ve become so accustomed to nudity on all platforms, even basic lifestyle photos on Instagram, that we are now desensitized to it. Nudity isn’t even sexual anymore. It’s just another common crass visual our culture is used to being exposed to on a regular basis. This has completely killed the presence and nurturing of seduction, which doesn’t seem like a very consequential issue, but without the art of seduction, we’re seeing romance diminish. 

Romance may seem like a trivial thing, but it’s an important part of love and beauty that is severely lacking in modern society. Love and courtship have become insensitive, boorish, and vulgar. This does not make a good foundation for lasting relationships and marriages, and it doesn’t make for a very warm, intimate society. Perhaps if we made a return to the true art of seduction rather than twerking online and posting naked photos on social media, we would see many more people interested in love, which would increase rates of marriage and strong families. 

Seduction extends beyond mere sexual attraction, encompassing the dynamics of male-female interactions, emotional connections, and psychological intricacies. Contrary to common perception, it's not solely about physical allure but involves honing personal traits, both internal and external. It's an art and a skill, requiring study and practice, focusing on self-awareness and authentic connection rather than manipulation or imitation. It’s not the crass formula that we’re told it is online, especially by the red-pill manosphere activists, who act like women are simply objects to conquer.

Seduction's true power lies not in physical beauty or overt sex appeal but in psychological understanding.

Understanding seduction involves reevaluating preconceived notions about love and attraction. It’s not just about being selfish and trying to achieve your sexual goals. It involves introspection: comprehending your own identity, desirability, strengths, weaknesses, and romantic aspirations. This self-exploration can be a lifelong journey but is essential for genuine connections. It also concerns understanding the man you're interested in: his personality, desires, and what about you naturally attracts him.

Contrary to its competitive nature, seduction doesn't hinge on overt aggression or playing the numbers game in social settings. It's not about chasing the most attractive or charismatic individual in a room. The essence of seduction lies in forging deeper, lasting relationships beyond superficial encounters. It's about psychology, understanding both yourself and the other person, and presenting your most empowered, attractive self in a way that's intriguing and genuine.

Closing Thoughts

Robert Greene, in The Art of Seduction, argues that seduction's true power lies not in physical beauty or overt sex appeal but in psychological understanding. It's a strategic interplay of personalities, a challenge that involves wit, temperament, and personal empowerment, leaving a lasting impression and creating a desire for more. This approach to seduction emphasizes personal development, emotional intelligence, and a deeper understanding of human relationships. Much sexier than twerking on stage for millions of eyes, right?

Seduction is much deeper than “achieving” intercourse. It’s not simply a surface-level thing between men and women. That’s perhaps exactly why our culture is lacking so much of it (or why what we do see is usually cringe-worthy.) It's time we toss aside the cheap version of lust that pop-culture so often shoves down our throats and look below the surface. Let's bring back genuine, unmistakably sultry seduction.

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