How To Be Single
Love. There’s a whole genre of books and movies about it. Every song in existence seems to revolve around it. There’s even an entire holiday dedicated to the feeling. So it makes perfect sense for our entire lives to revolve around receiving romantic love, right?
In our social media and entertainment driven society, it’s hard not to put romance on a pedestal. We see it everywhere, after all. Though our minds might convince us it’s not the ultimate goal, it seems our hearts want to argue otherwise.
An Opportunity Arisen
With anything, singleness is a period in your life where you must find happiness. Though I’m a firm believer in loving the little things, there are plenty of grand adventures to fall in love with while being single.
Finding comfort in being single is, unfortunately, a task easier said than done. Especially when we live in a world that prioritizes romantic love over…well, pretty much everything else (except for money). The best you can do is turn it into a non-option. Put that dream wedding Pinterest board away and tackle self-discovery. And I don’t mean obsessing over crystals and tarot cards, I mean what are you going to learn for you? Take that trip, don’t wait. Other than a job, being single means no strings attached. It’s open roads. (Not saying these things have to stop when you’re no longer single, but two busy schedules are twice the planning.) So take the time to take roads less traveled, read more, paint more. Quit using the single life as an excuse to live a boring life. If you can’t have fun on your own, then you won’t be fun to anyone else either.
Finding happiness in every stage of life is honestly the key to happiness itself. Love is a great motivator, a great muse, but it can’t be the only one. Taking the opportunities that present themselves in your season of singlehood is your best bet. While it’s best not to see a relationship as shackles, it’s great to see singlehood as new wings.
Singleness and Contentment
One of the many reasons singlehood can be so troublesome for many is their dissatisfaction with life. We all know at least one person who jumps in and out of relationships like a change of pants because they get bored. The problem isn’t relationships though, it’s where your head is going into it. People rarely admit that they aren’t ready. We’re tiny humans that believe we’re invincible. We got this. We can handle it all. Throw it at us. So it’s rare that we can step back and say I can’t do this or Maybe I’m really not ready for this.
Quit using the single life as an excuse to live a boring life.
Our lack of satisfaction in our day-to-day lives can lead us to struggle to fill that void. Many things will try to fill the hole. Hobbies, social media, and people are just a few. So what’s the best option when boredom, curiosity, and the fear of missing out mix? You end up in a relationship that shouldn’t have been started in the first place.
Defeating boredom and finding a purpose outside romance is the best way to fix the ill idea that love is a cure for boredom. While your time may be filled with all the activities being in a relationship comes with, it fills other parts of you too. The emotional weight that comes with a relationship can have both positive and negative effects, but either way, it’s a weight that not everyone has the time or readiness to carry.
Being single isn’t an empty space. It shouldn’t be used as a waiting game. It should be used as a time to prepare yourself.
The Good News?
The good news is you still get to love. While it’s not always reciprocated, love is one of the greatest, most freeing feelings on planet earth. We get to love anyone, we get to love everyone. We can sacrifice and care for and engage and listen to anyone at any given time, and there are no romantic constraints there. It can be awfully painful, sure. But it can be equally beautiful, meaningful.
Being single doesn’t mean you’re not loved.
Being single doesn’t mean you’re not loved. It doesn't mean you’re not surrounded by love. It simply means you’re not receiving one type of love. One of many. Love isn’t transactional, it’s not always returned. It’s an unfortunate side effect of being human – sometimes we don’t always get what we give. But nevertheless, we can give. We can give all we want. So give love, make friendships, help others. Be kind. Don’t wait on one person to share all that with – they aren’t the only one who needs it from you.
Closing Thoughts
Singlehood isn’t a curse. And singleness doesn’t mean you’re behind. Stages come and go in life, and each has beautiful meaning to it. Taking our singlehood for granted is our first mistake in a relationship – and it hasn’t even begun! Taking the time to find and grow yourself by yourself is just as important as the communication and growth that comes within a relationship. Learn, listen, and love. You’re in a good place, and maybe a better place is on it’s way.
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