How To Become A Femme Fatale

First, we must define and give an example of a real life, world-famous femme fatale who made her indelible mark on American culture as a sexy and dangerously seductive siren. According to the online encyclopedia Brittanica, “The femme fatale, is a seductive and beautiful woman who brings disaster to anyone with whom she becomes romantically involved.”

Brittanica features a photo of one of the most notorious femme fatales of the 20th century on and off the silver screen, Ms. Ava Gardner. 

Ava Gardner romantically and mercilessly entrapped and enraptured the most famous, wealthy and prestigious men in Hollywood. Frank Sinatra, Howard Hughes and Robert Mitchum were obsessed with Ava to dizzying degrees according to many in show business and beyond:

“After all, as the world knew Ava was the woman who came dangerously close to wrecking Frank Sinatra. She drove an impassioned Mickey Rooney to break down her bedroom door; she incited billionaire Howard Hughes to strike her (she retaliated by knocking him out cold); and caused a love-crazed George C. Scott to chase her clear across the globe — at one point, he threatened to kill her.”

So how can you be more like Ava Gardner? How can you make men obsessed with you as a femme fatale? What can you do this very moment to be the kind of dangerous, sensuous, and seductive woman who makes men spend a profuse amount of money and possibly even spend a few nights in jail in falling into her dangerous clutches?

Be a Free Spirit Who Can’t Be Controlled by Men

Contrary to what you typically read among today’s online femininity forums, where they promote and encourage submission for women in relation to men, the femme fatale has much bigger motivations and aspirations in her romantic liaisons. 

The femme fatale prides herself on being a free spirit. She plays by her own rules. She embraces a rebelliousness in her femininity and desires a sense of playful frivolity and adventure in her relationships with men. She doesn’t want to be predictable to men, she wants to keep them guessing and keep them on their toes. 

Men who are too controlling because they become too insecure in her wiles and free spiritedness will find themselves on the lethal trajectory of being destroyed by the femme fatale. 

Ava Gardner left both Frank Sinatra and Howard Hughes in emotional ruin. Frank Sinatra threatened suicide in being unable to control Ava, who found herself becoming turned off by Sinatra growing increasingly possessive and domineering. 

“Russo said that Sinatra tried to kill himself when he discovered that then-wife Ava Gardner had cheated on him and was leaving him. Sinatra went to the apartment of William Morris talent agent James Woods to do the deed.

‘Thank God his neighbor was home because there was a gas smell coming from Woods’ apartment,’ he said.

‘When they went in, Sinatra was half in the oven with the gas on.’”

Gardner had notorious Hollywood playboy Sinatra attempting suicide, a man who had bedded untold numbers of beautiful women and never wanted for female company among his own bevy of Hollywood beauties.

It was documented much later that Frank and Ava were true blue lovers, and they remained in each other’s lives as friends until Ava passed away:

“After living in Spain for several years, Gardner moved to London, England, in 1968. She remained close to Sinatra, who called her hospital room after her 1986 stroke and later helped with her medical bills.”

Can you be free and autonomous from men? Can you walk away from a man because you value your freedom above a man making you miserable? Ava did. Frank fought with Ava until she’d had enough—and Frank never stopped loving her until the day she died.

The femme fatale leaves her imprint on a man’s heart and soul forever. And a man like Frank was not immune. 

Be the Bad Girl

Many of today’s women mistake being a bad girl for being promiscuous, or having a bad attitude with men. Or worse, they believe being a bad girl means they should emasculate men.

Being the bad girl can’t be shoved into any of these boxes. The femme fatale knows that pumping up a man’s ego is key in seducing him and making him love you.

Allow yourself to be the greatest woman and to also be “bad” to men. Be strategic in how you allot them your undivided attention, emotional resources and of course, your body.

Don’t let a man push you around. Don’t let him treat you like he treats all the other women. Differentiate yourself. You don’t need to yell and scream at him, you simply need to remove yourself from his presence.

Men get a rush when you lavish them with your attention and juice up their ego, and they become hungered and distressed when you withdraw just when they least expect it. This is what hooks a man. 

Understand that men want sex and that’s usually their angle. The bad girl may have sex with a man or she may not. That’s what makes her “bad” to him. She’s a brat who just won’t say yes. 

The femme fatale will also fight back and defend herself. She’s protective of her image. She won’t take kindly to being treated as less than to a man. 

Finally, sensuousness is key. What does it mean to be sensual? Employ the 5 senses with men. What he can’t see, taste, touch, smell or grasp is what will permeate his senses. He will have to use his imagination and once you get a man’s mind wandering, you never know how far he’ll go to win you.

Have Sex Only After They’re Already In Love

Femme fatales know how men think. They find men to be too predictable hence why they will employ seductive strategies and take the necessary steps to get a man wrapped around their finger. 

They know men go crazy for physical beauty. They understand men go nuts for the woman who is harder to get. They realize that men think of sex 24/7/365 and when they can’t get it from the woman they desire, that makes her much more interesting to him. It makes her worth the (heavy) pursuit. 

Men have a built-in hormonal drive that makes them work and try harder to win a woman over, especially when it comes to sex. 

So, how do you know when a man is in love with you before you have sex with him? 

First, you have to stop thinking of sex as an expression of a man’s love. It’s only an expression of love when the man legitimately loves you. 

Generally the signs he’s in love are:

1. He can’t stay away from you. Every spare moment he has, he’s clamoring to spend it with you.

2. His friends and even his family will tease you about how tough he has it since you popped up on the scene. “What did you do to him? He’s not the same guy anymore. He’s acting way off since he met you.”

3. He is passionate. Passionate in the way he speaks to you, about you, in his actions towards you and in planning a future with you. Picture Van Gogh not being able to stop thinking or talking about painting. This is how he needs to feel about you before you make love to him.

Throughout all of this, the femme fatale takes her time. She is calculated and keeping score. She is dazzling him and withdrawing over the course of many days, weeks, and even months to get a man primed for sex after he falls deeply in love.

Being a femme fatale is not an easy task. It takes bravery and skill. In fact, the majority of people in our culture frown upon it. The seductive skills she is equipped with are the skills many people entirely lack. And they feel very insecure, suspicious and fearful of the femme fatale’s tremendous power.

The femme fatale is a free-spirited and feminine force to be reckoned with that goes against the grain of today’s culture. And the mysteriousness of such a woman has and will always live in the hearts and minds of men the world over.