I Quit Social Media 8 Years Ago—Here’s How It Changed My Life

In that moment, I had an epiphany. I turned toward the sunset, told my friend to put down the camera, and simply enjoyed the next few moments. I realized then that social media, and all the pressures that come with it, were getting in the way of my Key West adventure. I got home that night after the sunset and immediately deleted every social media app, everything. I went so far as to formally delete every account to make sure I would not be tempted to simply re-download the apps once I got bored. 

Quitting Cold Turkey

At first, it was awkward. I didn’t know what to do in the morning when I first woke up or what to fill random spaces in the day with. I felt like I had lost a piece of myself, along with my internet identity. Surprisingly, few people noticed that I had deleted my socials. No family or friends reached out – life seemingly went on as normal from their perspective. It took longer than you would expect for even close friends to notice my sudden online disappearance. 

Slowly, I began to fill my time with other interests. You would be surprised at the amount of free time I suddenly possessed. I didn’t think I spent that much time on social media in the first place! The average person spends almost three hours per day on social media. What could you be doing with all that extra time? I began to read more (like a lot more!), strike up conversations with those around me, and really enjoy simple quiet moments of prayer or meditation. 

After a summer of acclimating to this new rhythm and space in my life, I returned to college and realized I had no idea what anyone else had been up to for the past couple of months. Interestingly, this out-of-the-loop mindset made me more excited to see old friends. There was no FOMO, and I was genuinely interested in hearing about everyone else’s summer. Friends were more excited to hear about my summer as well, finally realizing that I was nowhere to be found on the internet. 

I found myself listening more intently to friends’ stories and becoming more engaging in the process. There was no jealousy or envy, bred by the constant comparisons inherent in social media use. My friendships became more authentic as I was unable to upkeep superficial friendships sustained through mutual “likes” and cheesy comments online. I literally had to connect with people in person; I could not rely on a false sense of community online to fill my emotional needs. Friendships were made in the dining hall or in class, and that’s also how we kept up with each other. 

My circle might have been smaller without the shallow social media connections, but the friendships I invested in turned out to be so much deeper. I ended up making more true life-long friends in the process and feeling less lonely. Don’t we all wish for more true friends than “likes,” anyway? 

Would the Experiment Work Again? 

After college, I went to law school and continued my personal social media ban. Could I make new friends and start a new career without the help of apps and an online presence? 

Making friends proved to be just as easy in law school as it was in college after I quit social media. At this point, I was practiced in personal connection and was noticeably more confident than my pre-social media detox self. Focusing on myself and refusing to measure my life against unrealistic standards was a very healing experience. I came across as more sure of myself and more compassionate of others. When meeting new people, I was more focused on the authentic person in front of me, instead of the curated persona they may have carefully crafted online for years. 

My attention span was also highly improved.  There was no social media app to click open or distract me when I just wanted to throw my law school textbook across the room in desperation. When I was in the library, I literally had to study. I was able to push through grueling hours of case book reading, only getting distracted when I noticed other students’ social media use and got curious. My grades were the best they had ever been. Due to the increased attention span, my memory dramatically improved as well! Imagine my surprise when I began researching and found that prolonged social media use actually does hinder our brain performance! 

Job? Check. 

Concerning my professional career, all I will say is that I was able to land my dream job without so much as a LinkedIn. Why? Because I had to focus on fostering personal connections and building my network in person. I knew I had to go to professional development events and join up with community groups. My first impression mattered, and so did keeping in direct contact with other professionals. Instead of simply connecting on an app, I was exchanging professional advice and ideas over email and direct communication. 

Doubly important, at the company I worked for, your personal life mattered to some degree. There was nothing compromising about me online and no poor choices to explain due to an overshare on socials. Employers care about your online reputation, especially in professional career settings. Moreover, I ensured I wasn't totally in the dark about world events. I found that signing up for daily news emails (like The Glance by Evie) kept me up to date despite being socials-free. 

What Would Men Think? 

My biggest anxiety over this whole process was what would men think!? I had no desire to end up a spinster or infatuated with my career. I wanted marriage and a family, but how in the world was a man going to find me when there were no DMs to slide into and no way to casually connect over social media or dating apps? 

Ladies, let me tell you, I found that no guy cares about your lack of social media presence. After a few years of improving my people skills, detoxing from a negative self-image, and building confidence, I was readier than ever to dive into a serious relationship. 

After quitting socials, I met and dated lots of nice men. The dreaded question would always come up after a few dates or some flirty texts: “No Instagram/Snapchat/Facebook? I couldn’t find you.” I would panic, predicting that this situationship was about to take a nosedive. However, my meek and muffled “I quit a few years ago” was always met with positive feedback. Men seemed impressed, if not a little more interested, after I broke the news. One particular suitor even commented, “Good for you, I have been thinking about doing that for years but haven’t had the courage.” Now, I never thought that a lack of social media prowess would land me extra points on the dating scene. Many budding relationships didn’t work out for their own reasons, but never because of social media. 

Consider this the ultimate plot twist when I later met my now husband (the old fashioned way, through friends) who owned his own marketing company. Social media was literally his bread and butter. However, early on, my husband was impressed that I had no social media accounts and appreciated the lasting friendships I had built over the years without the internet’s help. He claims to have known something was instantly special about me, and I like to think that it's the character I spent years cultivating while detoxing from online culture. I would not have been the woman he fell in love with had it not been for the radical decision I made during college. 

Closing Thoughts.

My advice? Give it a try! At least for a few months. There is no better investment you can make in yourself. Keep a journal and pay attention to the changes you experience. If anything, at least your mind and spirit will be given room to breathe without the constant chatter and notifications.

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