I Thought Career Success Was Everything—Then I Found Balance Through Embracing Traditional Gender Roles
For most of my career I reveled in being called a "girlboss" and prided myself on my independence, seizing every opportunity to assert my autonomy. My twenties were a whirlwind of late nights, big dreams, and even bigger ambitions. Hollywood was my dream, and days were spent auditioning, hustling for the next gig, and striving to “make it”.
My thirties were consumed by another dream—becoming a teacher. I poured myself into that passion, and it eventually led me to founding WIT (Whatever It Takes). Along the way, I added 3x TEDx speaker, Forbes Contributor and TODAY Show blogger to my resume. Professionally, I was thriving, and people were quick to acknowledge my success. But despite the accolades and accomplishments, there was a persistent ache I couldn’t ignore.
Looking back, I realize what I had done: I had married ambition instead of a man.
Don’t get me wrong—I love the work I do, and I’m incredibly proud of the legacy I’m building. But as I approached my forties, something shifted. The relentless chase for professional success had left me feeling unbalanced, disconnected, and, quite frankly, lonely. It wasn’t until I met my now-husband that I truly understood what I had been missing. That love and partnership, rooted in mutual respect, was the missing piece I didn’t even know I needed.
At 48, I walked down the aisle, and it is the most meaningful thing I’ve ever done.
The Feminine Power in Traditional Roles
When I met my husband, I made a conscious decision to embrace a more traditional role in our relationship, and I expressed that choice clearly. On our very first phone call, I blurted out, “I just want you to know that I believe in traditional gender roles.” Later, he told me that it was one of the most attractive things I said.
What I didn’t say explicitly, but what those words conveyed, was years of self-discovery. I realized that while I was driven to pursue my dreams and career goals, I craved a romantic relationship that invited me to embody my feminine energy. I didn’t want to be the leader in every aspect of my life and I longed for balance. I remember telling a friend on a walk, “I want to be adored,” and that sentiment sums it up perfectly. Men seek respect, while women desire adoration.
Though I had never been married before, I had experienced a few long-term relationships and countless dates. I’d been with a man who wasn’t in control, but simply controlling—something that didn’t reflect true masculinity. I’d also dated someone who expected me to make all the decisions, which wasn’t the dynamic I wanted. I stayed way too long in relationships that were one-sided and desperately kept some going that were really DOA.
I wanted a life where I focused on my marriage, honored my husband, and I wanted the experience of creating a partnership built on love and mutual respect. For the first time, with my now husband, I allowed myself to lean into my feminine energy—soft, supportive, and nurturing.
It was both radical and liberating.
While society often portrays traditional roles as oppressive, I’ve discovered that they actually bring clarity, harmony, and balance. By embracing my femininity, I’ve unlocked a part of myself I had long suppressed. It’s not about giving up ambition or abandoning my dreams. It’s about making room for love, partnership, and the beauty of building a life together.
A Better Legacy
I’m still running WIT, I still write for Forbes, I have even added Washington Speakers Bureau speaker to the list, all things I’m incredibly proud of. But those are just pieces of my life, not its entirety. What’s most important, what truly matters, is the partnership and family I hope to build with my husband. He is my teammate, my equal. He supports me in my work, just as I support him in his. Together, we’re building something far greater than either of us could alone.
Our relationship is the foundation that allows everything else to flourish. It’s not just about the work we do, but how we show up for each other, the way we learn and grow together, and the love we give and receive. That, to me, is the heart of legacy—the people you impact, the trust and connection you build, and the way you make others feel valued and seen.
And here’s the unexpected twist: since we’ve been together, I’ve launched another business, one that has taken us all over the world. It’s a reminder that “traditional” is far from being a restrictive or boring concept. It can actually be a platform for adventure, creativity, and personal growth.
Being loved and giving love fully doesn’t limit you; it invites you to explore life more deeply, to embrace new challenges, and to create a legacy that’s rich with meaning, not just achievement.
To the Women Reading This
If you're in your twenties or thirties, I hope you'll hear me out. Yes, work hard. Chase your dreams. Strive to make your mark on the world. But don’t let the relentless pursuit of success blind you to the joy and depth that come from building a life with someone you love. Don’t let ambition rob you of the opportunity to love and be loved deeply. Don’t hide behind achievements and titles. And please date with discernment and date for marriage. Dating for marriage doesn’t mean you’re going down the aisle on the second date, it just means you don’t waste time on guys who you know aren’t marriage material. “Fun for now” leads to heartbreaking situationships. Trust me on that.
I understand you feel a pressure to succeed, to be independent, to embody the "girlboss" mindset that tells us we can and must shatter glass ceilings. But let me be clear—prioritizing love, marriage, and family doesn’t make you any less of a woman or any less of a success. It doesn’t mean you’re playing small or holding yourself back. In fact, it can elevate you in ways that career success alone cannot. Embracing these aspects of life doesn't diminish your power; it magnifies it.
Traditional gender roles may not be for everyone, and that’s okay. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to life, and it’s important to chart your own path. But for me, leaning into these roles has been a game-changer. They’ve given me a sense of purpose, fulfillment, and connection that my career alone could never provide. I’ve found that when you’re grounded in faith and partnership, everything else—your work, your dreams, your personal growth—falls into place in a more meaningful and sustainable way.
So here’s my advice: Don’t wait until you’re in your 40s or beyond to figure this out. Don’t delay investing in your relationships as much as you invest in your work. Open yourself up to the beauty of partnership, and don’t be afraid to embrace your feminine energy. Allow yourself to soften, to be supported, and to love deeply. You might just discover that traditional roles aren’t limiting at all—they’re actually the ultimate win.
If I could go back in time, I’d tell my younger self this: You can have a fulfilling career and a loving marriage. But don’t let the pursuit of one eclipse the other. The best things in life aren’t achievements or accolades—they’re the people you choose to share your life with. They’re the relationships you nurture and the love you give and receive. So go ahead and chase your dreams ….but also walk down that aisle.