Is He “The One”? Here Are 10 Signs You’re Dating The Man You Should Marry

At a certain point in a romantic relationship, we begin to shift our focus to the future — beyond whether or not we’ll continue dating them, and toward whether or not we could see ourselves marrying them one day.

Marriage is an incredibly significant commitment to make, which is part of why we see fewer and fewer people choosing to get married. It’s not a decision we can take lightly, or even one we can make based on love alone; ultimately, being in love with someone isn’t enough of a “sign” that we should stay with them forever.

Having mutual love and attraction for one another is obviously a key ingredient in a happy marriage, but there’s so much more we have to take into account before we take the plunge and make what’s supposed to be a lifelong promise to stay committed to each other.

So what are the signs that the man we’re dating is the man we should marry?

1. You Can Recover from Fights

It’s not having zero fights that makes a relationship healthy (in fact, it’s actually good for us to have disagreements with our boyfriend), but how we respond to our fights and if we’re able to fight healthily. Fights that devolve into name-calling, character assassination, and periods of the silent treatment or constant bickering don’t point to a happy future.

Ultimately, our disagreements should lead us to a deeper understanding of each other’s needs and opinions, and making up should be more important to us than “winning.” If we’ve found that we can come back from fights with him, that’s a good sign.

2. You Make Each Other Laugh

We might assume that on the list of aspects that make for a strong relationship, being able to laugh together isn’t all that important – but we’d be wrong to think that. The happiest couples are the ones that are constantly laughing together, and even studies back this up.

Sure, having similar values, trust, and loyalty aren’t things to overlook, but being able to laugh together and enjoy each other’s sense of humor has the power to bring us together and keep the passion alive. So if we’re always giggling together, this points to him being husband material.

3. The Relationship Has Withstood Its Tests

It’s not surprising to want to marry someone when our relationship has been rosy, simple, and loving – before the relationship has been tested or seen better days. But to know whether or not a relationship can last the inevitable tough times, which are bound to come about throughout marriage, it has to have survived some tests.

Whatever the test may be – tough financial times, disappointment, personal drama, the loss of a loved one, or anything else – the only way we know we can count on our boyfriend to be a loyal, capable, reliable spouse is if we’ve endured a challenge with them, and the relationship has come out even stronger on the other end.

4. You’re Excited To Share Things with Them

We’re always excited for ourselves when we get a promotion, finish a big project, or make a lifelong dream come true. But what makes these victories even sweeter is having someone to celebrate them with us rather than feel insecure or jealous in light of our triumphs. 

The key is finding the right person to celebrate with us. Ideally, one such person should be our spouse. If we find ourselves always excited to tell our guy about whatever wonderful thing happened, knowing he’ll be just as enthusiastic for our success as we are, he’s a keeper.

5. You Have Mutual Respect and Support for One Another

Relationships are a two-way street; while each person will always add something unique – maybe one is the whimsical jokester, and the other is the thoughtful planner – there are a few things that need to be given equally.

Respect and support are two of these things. A man who shows respect for our thoughts, feelings, and what we add to the relationship, and supports our goals and aspirations, is showing us that he’s the right man to marry.

6. You Feel at Ease with Each Other

When we imagine a couple who’s comfortable with each other, we probably immediately think of sweatpants, messy buns, and an unwashed face. But this isn’t what feeling at ease with one another genuinely looks like.

When we’re at ease with our boyfriend, this means we feel free to be totally authentic with what we’re feeling, open up about what’s been bothering us, and fully known and loved. There are few things more important to find in a future spouse than feeling at ease with him.

7. They Love Who You Are But Still Challenge You

It’s a gift to be loved, accepted, seen, and desired. We all hope for this out of a marriage. But this is also the person we’ll spend the rest of our life with, and they’re bound to see it all – the shortcomings we’ve been able to hide from everyone else, and ignore ourselves.

While it’s comfortable to be totally and fully accepted as we are, we shouldn’t be. We need to change. We have to grow. We aren’t perfect as we are. The right man to marry is the one who’s willing to lovingly point out when we aren’t living up to our full potential.

8. Your Values and Goals Align

Different personalities, temperaments, and hobbies can make for a truly fulfilling, never-boring relationship. It can get boring being with someone who’s just like us. But the places we really need to align? Our life goals and deepest-held values – the beliefs and desires that directly affect the way we live our lives and see the world. A difference of opinion shouldn’t keep us from marrying someone, but we also need to find common ground on things like faith, philosophy, and politics, especially if we want to have children.

9. You Can Talk about the Future Together

The future can feel a bit ominous, uncertain, and even scary to think about – every Millennial and Gen Zer feels that deeply. But we also can’t avoid it, and the best thing we can ask for is someone that we want a future with that feels comfortable discussing it.

Being married to someone means we’ve agreed to the future with them, whatever it holds. So a great sign that we’re dating the guy we should marry is if we feel not only free to talk about the future with him, but excited at the thought of it, as is he.

10. Your Communication Is Strong

Communication isn’t necessarily a romantic idea; it’s not thrilling or sexy or mysterious or glamorous. We probably wouldn’t immediately say, “Our communication is so strong,” when we’re bragging about him to our friends. But nevertheless, communication isn’t something to forget about.

In fact, most of marriage is learning how to effectively, lovingly, and intelligently communicate our thoughts, feelings, and needs with one another. So if we’re already able to do this with him in the dating phase, that’s an undeniable sign that he’s a guy worth marrying.

Closing Thoughts

The decision to get married is an extremely important one. But thankfully, there are a few signs that can help point us in the right direction.

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