Is It Ever Appropriate To Complain On Social Media?

Social media often makes me think of that classic Charles Dickens quote from A Tale of Two Cities: “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” There are some undeniably great things that social media has done for us: It has connected us across thousands of miles, allowed us to meet new people we never would have met before, and helps us learn new things with the click of a button. But there’s a dark side to social media as well. 

Apps like Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter are designed to make us addicted to them. They suck us in, take advantage of our dopamine receptors (every like or comment is a fresh hit), and before you know it, you’ve wasted two hours stalking some random girl on Instagram, and now you feel worse about yourself than when you started. It can be difficult to balance the good with the bad, and the same is true when it comes to airing your grievances online. 

When you’re upset about something in your life, it’s natural to want to seek empathy and understanding from other people. You want to feel justified for your feelings, maybe you want the person who wronged you to feel bad, and you almost certainly want to somehow turn the situation around and make it right. That’s understandable, but before you take to social media and begin typing up a long post, stop and think for a moment if this is a process that should really play out online, for all the world to see and judge. 

There are two people inside all of us: our public persona and our private persona. There’s the version of us we show to the world and a separate, more private version that we reserve for our friends and family. This separation is important for deciding when it’s okay to complain on social media and when it’s best to keep your problems within your immediate social circle. 

How To Deal with Complaints As a Consumer

Let’s say you just went on vacation, and the travel experience was a nightmare. Maybe the airline canceled your flight at the last minute or lost your bags, and their customer service was highly unhelpful about it. Or maybe your hotel lost your reservation, and despite you having the confirmation email from them, they shrugged their shoulders and simply said they’re fully booked and couldn’t help you. In this type of situation, you’re well within your rights to be upset, and it might be a good idea to take to social media to complain.

These public-facing companies have a duty to do right by their customers. When they lapse in that duty, consumers are justified in airing their complaints publicly and warning other would-be patrons to stay far, far away. That’s simply the price of doing business. It’s why we’re all obsessed with checking Yelp before we try a new restaurant – we want to see what others think of it! None of us want to waste our hard-earned money on a bad experience. 

Posting publicly about a company that has wronged you is fair, but there is one important caveat. Even though you’re within your rights to complain publicly as a consumer, there is still a right and a wrong way to go about it. Don’t simply draft a tweet calling everyone who works at American Airlines a complete f—ing moron because they lost your bags and hit send. That’s not helpful to anyone. 

When you’re planning to complain about a company on social media, be specific and remain tactful. Don’t curse at them or act immature. Instead, accurately detail what happened (you can be blunt about it) and why you’re upset about it. Make sure to tag the company in anything you post so that they can respond to it. This part is important because the point of complaining about a brand on social media isn’t just to get out your frustrations, you also want to give the company a chance to make things right. 

Part of being tactful and classy in life is giving others grace. Yes, this company was wrong, but that doesn’t mean it’s the end of the story. This is a chance for their customer service representatives to step up and fix the situation. And if they do that, you should also publicly give them kudos for it. While complaining about a brand on social media is often justified, your hope should be that it’s not the end of the story but a last chance for that company to make things right. 

How To Deal with Private Problems

A recent survey found that couples who rarely or never post images of themselves on social media are happier than couples who post more often. And that’s a survey about people posting good things online – it doesn’t account for complaints. If couples who don’t share the good aspects of their relationship online are happier than those who do, then it’s reasonable to assume the same is true of the inverse. Couples who keep their problems to themselves are ultimately happier than those who share them.

Everyone deals with frustrating personal problems at some point (okay, multiple points) in their life, and while it’s natural to crave guidance and sympathy, social media is not the place to do it. This is true about every facet of your personal life, not just your romantic relationship. Did you get into an argument with your friend? Is your kid driving you insane? Are you upset that your boss passed you over for a promotion yet again? 

It might feel good in the moment to air your private grievances in public. Perhaps you’ll get a few supportive comments from strangers that will make you feel slightly better for a few minutes. In the long run, however, none of that is helpful, and chances are you will look back on this moment with sincere regret. The people in the comments are there for entertainment value, not because they have your best interests at heart. 

You know who does (or should) have your best interests at heart, though? The real people in your life, and those people need to be able to trust you. If they feel like one wrong step will cause you to blast them online, then that trust is going to evaporate almost immediately and those relationships will suffer. Instead of picking up your phone when you’re angry at your boyfriend or best friend or boss, first, try going for a walk to clear your mind and get into a better headspace.

When you’re upset with someone in your life, the only real way to solve that problem is to deal with them directly. It’s also the most respectful way to find a resolution. Even though you’re angry and hurt, remember that this is still someone important to you and someone who deserves respect (this is, of course, barring any physical abuse, which is a completely different issue). 

If you feel that you need guidance from someone else before dealing with the situation, turn to a trusted friend or family member, or therapist (if you have one). Make sure the person you’re choosing to confide in is not only one you can trust but one whose opinion you genuinely respect. 

The most important person to talk to, however, is the person you have an issue with. When you talk to them, do it in a manner that’s conducive to an actual resolution. Don’t come in swinging in a way that will automatically put them on the defense. Instead, share why you were upset about what they did and express that you want to make things right between you. When you appear genuine and trustworthy, people are much more likely to see your side of the situation. And the best way to erode that trust is to go behind their back and complain about them on social media first. 

Closing Thoughts

Remember that the internet is forever. Once you post something on there, there’s no going back. While there is certainly a time and place for complaining on social media – some issues require the limelight in order to be resolved – when it comes to your personal life, that is most definitely not the case. You need to draw a firm line between your public and private life, and certain things that fall into the latter category should be kept off the internet.

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