Is It Okay To Date A Significantly Younger Man?
There’s no sin in dating someone a bit younger, but how much younger is too much?
Finding the right guy isn’t for the faint of heart. First, you have to find a guy who’s decent and kind; then, you have to actually have enough chemistry with him; and after all of that, you have to have similar desires and values. And even then, it doesn’t always work out.
When you’ve been stuck in a rut of dating guys, trying to move things in a more serious direction, and then losing out in the end, it’s tempting to start looking outside the bounds you’ve given yourself. Sometimes, that looks like going for a different type – going for the stable guy when you’d normally go for the artist or bad-boy type. And often enough, this looks like dating someone outside your immediate age group.
For women, this typically means looking for a guy who’s got a few years on you – a man who’s more mature, much wiser, and more settled than the often unstable, immature guys your own age. But sometimes, dating a much younger guy is what intrigues you. Maybe you’ve become disenchanted with the guys your age and above, feeling they aren’t adventurous enough, or you don’t have anything in common with them.
But is it wise to date a much younger man? Or is it a relationship that’s set up for eventual failure? What are the pros and cons of dating a guy who’s much younger than you?
What’s Considered “Normal” When It Comes to Relationships and Age Gaps?
Most couples in the United States are within 2-3 years of each other’s age. And typically, women are the younger party in a romantic relationship. When it comes to relationships with an age gap greater than that average, it’s normally made up of an older man and a younger woman. With relationships between a younger man and an older woman, the average age gap is around 5-7 years – which, going by typical relationship age gaps, is relatively large.
Whether you’re thinking about dating a guy just five years younger than you, or a guy 10 or more years younger than you, there are a few pros and cons to keep in mind.
There Are Upsides To Dating a Younger Man
Sure, dating a much younger guy isn’t typical, but that shouldn’t necessarily stop you if you find a guy who you like enough and could potentially be in it for the long run. Here are some of the upsides to dating a younger man:
If you’re active and adventurous, he’ll be able to keep up with you and more likely be free of the health issues that come with age. You’ll feel exhilarated by being with someone who has the same hunger to do.
He’ll likely have less baggage, if that’s something that’s been an issue for you in the past. He’s more likely not to have been married or already have children.
If you’re career-driven and settled in life, he’ll be more likely to meld his life with yours, being that you’re more established than he is.
He can introduce you to new experiences that come with being in his generation and help you feel in touch with your younger side.
On average, women outlive men by 5-6 years, so you’re more likely to have more years together.
But There Are Also Downsides
That being said, dating a younger man can also bring up issues that wouldn’t exist with a man closer in age, or even a man that’s much older than you.
He might be too immature for you. While having a younger boyfriend can be fun, you may end up feeling like he’s a little too young sometimes.
Your different life stages could create issues. While you might be thinking about kids, getting married, or settling down, he may not be on the same page as you or be ready for the same life steps that you are.
You might find it difficult to connect with him past a certain point if he didn’t have similar childhood/teen experiences. For example, you likely won’t have any similar high school experiences to look back on together, such as your favorite band at the time or cultural happenings.
It could be difficult to see him as your total equal, which is necessary in a healthy relationship.
He might not yet know how to have a mature romantic relationship. This could leave you feeling like you’re babysitting, or even in a high school-level relationship, more than being in a relationship with a man.
He could be looking more for a caretaker than for a wife, someone to do life’s heavy lifting for him so he can be more carefree and irresponsible.
Closing Thoughts
Whether or not a relationship with a younger guy will work is case-by-case. While relationships with this age gap have their unique pros, there are enough cons to think through that it’s important to proceed cautiously when getting involved with a younger guy.
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