Jasmine Tookes Talks About The Curse Of The "Girl Boss" Era

Valeria Lipovetsky brought up the topic of "girl boss" culture when she mentioned the intense burnout she felt after becoming a mother during her modeling and media career.

"After I gave birth to Maximus, I was in such a girl-boss era, and I hate to admit it, but it was the worst thing ever. I was so eager to go back to work, to prove to the world and myself, "Look what women can do! We can do it all!" And I burned myself out so bad that it took me a solid two years to get back to myself."

Lipovetsky shared even more personal details in a caption. "The curse of the 'girlboss' era was so real when it came to the pressure of bouncing back from childbirth and rushing into work again," she wrote. "With Max, I was 28 and well into my media career with a team that was counting on me. Taking a break didn’t feel like an option in my mind, and I now wish I had given myself more grace, more time to adjust to having THREE little kids."

"Girl Boss" Culture, Interrupted

Jasmine shared a similar internal conflict on the podcast. "I felt like I was pulling myself one way of wanting to, like, work and then pulling myself that way to stay home with the baby, and I couldn't figure out what felt right at the time. I think the first four months were probably the hardest."

Tookes married SnapChat Executive Juan David Borrero in 2021, and she announced the birth of their daughter Mia Victoria in February 2023, describing her as the “prettiest little princess."

"I'm the kind of person that doesn't like to just sit at home, like I like to be doing things and moving and learning and working, so that was really hard for me to just be like, "Relax, you need to stay home. Focus on the baby, focus on yourself, get yourself in the right mindset to even be able to jump back into work." That was really tough for me."

Her postpartum struggle highlights the unrealistic expectations often placed on new mothers to seamlessly transition back into their work lives without fully acknowledging the need for time to heal and bond with their newborns.

Many women on Instagram expressed their thankfulness for such a candid conversation about the stress that comes with prioritizing both a family and a demanding career.

"So beautiful to hear strong two women talking about these challenges openly," wrote one. "Reminder to slow down and enjoy being a woman, a mother, a wife, and a friend. We are so different in all of this but we have the same love language," wrote another.

A user named Aranka van der Voorden shared that she actually met Lipovetsky at a "girlboss" rally in 2017 and that they were both wearing pink suits. Aranka also shared that she now has two children and she realizes in hindsight that she "girlbossed a bit too hard" when they were babies, and now she sometimes wants a third child so she can "do it over" with less stress and "enjoy it one last time to the fullest."

Closing Thoughts

As the conversation between Lipovetsky and Tookes suggests, "girl boss" culture, which once was tied to women's empowerment and ambition has increasingly come under scrutiny, and for good reason. The combination of high-profile cases of fraud and failure within the "girl boss" community and the one-size-fits-all narrative of women's success in education, media, and entertainment have created ongoing consequences for women, especially when it comes to their personal well-being and family life.

It seems that more women are realizing that the "girl boss" way of life promises a lot but doesn't always deliver. On the flip side, investing in one's family requires a lot of self-sacrifice but often ends up paying off in powerful ways.

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