There’s A Scientific Reason Why Women Want A Tall, Dark And Handsome Man

You know him when you see him. It doesn’t matter if he actually surpasses 6’ or if he’s only teetering on 5’10”, but confidence appears to come easy for this man. There’s an element of ruggedness to his face and figure – though he’s certainly not unkempt – and he’s got a spirit of elegance that leaves you a little bit breathless. 

This is the quintessential “tall, dark, and handsome” man, a title which, despite bearing slightly different meanings to each beholder, is universally understood when you see one.

Is he a little bit of a bad boy? Does his physical presence seem somewhat domineering? Is his demeanor a bit mysterious, perhaps even aloof? Compared to their more docile male counterparts, smaller in stature and in confidence, the “tall, dark, and handsome” man tends to be much better at getting girls…and there are several scientifically sound reasons why.

He’s Taller Than You…Even When You Wear Your Sexiest Pumps

Generally speaking, women prefer to be shorter than their man, and this factors much more strongly into mate preference than can be said for the inverse – compared to us, men don’t care quite as much as we do about height. Studies suggest that men feel satisfied just being around three inches taller than their woman, while women like their man to be around eight inches taller than them. 

But if you’re an average-height woman (5’4”), then this means your man must be 6 foot, right? Well, other research reports women are typically cool with anything above 5’9”, so those few inches around the coveted 6-foot range are negligible.

Women tend to perceive shorter men as being less successful, less masculine, less socially attractive, and even less well-adjusted, according to one study on height stereotypes. Height also may be related to health, as some researchers have found that shorter men report that they’re in poorer health than their taller male counterparts. 

On top of all that, a man who has good posture – say, like Michaelangelo’s upright, confident David statue posed in “contrapposto” – is perceived as more attractive and more masculine.

Whether the chicken or the egg came first is beyond me, but I think you get the picture – stature is sexy. Women likely evolved to unconsciously prefer a taller guy because he could have better success in protecting her and her children from harm. 

Height translates directly into power, as you have to literally look up to a tall man in order to make any meaningful eye contact. Perhaps that’s why tall men get stereotyped as leaders, and perhaps that’s why we tend to elect taller politicians into public service!

Lately, there’s been a bit of extra love online for “short kings,” a.k.a. men under 5’8”, in what I’d assume is a hearty effort to dismantle traditional beauty standards and dating expectations. But, no matter how many TikTok memes are made to combat height discrimination, short men still do get the short end of the stick. Researchers have found that, if they want to be deemed as attractive to women as taller men, short guys need to earn more money.

He’s a Bit Bronzed, Not Unlike a Heroic Statue

“Dark” can be dicey territory. Depending on your perspective, a “dark” man is someone who either literally has dark features or someone who metaphorically has a dark aura. The former carries some racially-based double entendres, while the latter could veer into abusive territories. I’ll explain.

The real origins of “tall, dark, and handsome” are hard to track. Some believe that Italian actor Rudolph Valentino inspired the phrase – an early 20th-century sex symbol who became known as the “Latin Lover.” Others say it stems as far back as the “swarthy” descriptions of Moors, such as in Shakespeare’s Othello. 

It’s worth noting that elsewhere in literature, like Beowulf, “swarthy” was used interchangeably to mean “dark” and did not always have racial implications. The phrase was first spoken on screen when Mae West, playing Diamond Lil in the 1933 film She Done Him Wrong, was charmed by Cary Grant’s Captain Cummings.

“If that tall, dark, and handsome man can talk, I want him for my new co-star,” says Diamond Lil. And if you’ve ever seen Cary Grant, you know that this description fits him to a tee. 

His skin was tanned as though he had spent several summers in the Mediterranean sun, and since cinema was restricted to black and white technology until later in his career, his complexion was deeper than how it likely appeared in real life. For this same reason, his dark hair, thick eyebrows and eye color looked as black as night despite both being brown.

So, our visual concept of “tall, dark, and handsome” is colored by the celebrities of Hollywood’s Golden Age, like Grant, Errol Flynn, Gregory Peck, and Clark Gable. As time went on, this list has certainly expanded to include men like Sean Connery, George Clooney, Antonio Banderas, and Orlando Bloom. Today, you might even see someone toss around the term for a (very tall) guy like Jacob Elordi.

These men visually channel the mysterious heartthrob, and while this list could certainly expand to include non-white men with literally dark skin, it’s commonly used for leading men who may be tanned or have naturally olive undertones and also have dark hair and eyes.

And yes, it would appear that, psychologically speaking, women are more attracted to these “dark” physical characteristics. Studies have suggested that blonde haired men don’t land as many dates as darker haired men do and that, when women are asked to describe the “perfect man,” they give him dark brown hair.

Having a moderately tanned complexion is considered by many researchers to give an attractive, healthy appearance. Interestingly enough, research has also shown that people who are dating are more likely to tan their skin than those who are in established relationships or aren’t dating at all, as they believed that having a tan made them more attractive to mates.

He’s Reasonably in Tune with His “Dark Side”

A figurative explanation for what “dark” is in this context is actually more about the man’s personality and overall aura. He likely has a quick wit, a little bit of an ego, could come off as aloof, but is also steadfast and self-sacrificing.

This genre of male presence, when taken to the extreme, is indicative of the Dark Triad traits: psychopathy, Machiavellianism, and narcissism. If a guy scores too high in these malevolent traits, then you should definitely steer clear of him. That said, guys with a little bit of a “dark side” have been shown through several psychological studies to be significantly more alluring to women. 

Dark Triad traits as a whole appear to be most attractive in short-term mating contexts, which means that a woman looking to settle down instead of seeking a quick fling would probably go for the more universally recognized preferences of honesty, kindness, and dependability. But, of the triad, narcissism was actually found to be positively associated with long-term relationships as well.

Dr. Jordan B. Peterson once said that women use Dark Triad traits as “insufficient markers” for status, giving the example that narcissists look confident and confidence is often conflated with competence, but this isn’t always the case. Fake it ‘til you make it, you know? 

Interestingly enough, Dark Triad traits have also been found to offer reproductive advantages, such as how risk-takers or those who have less concern for others may have more children of their own earlier in life. Mate choice is, of course, very dependent on each person’s unique circumstances, but it also can be quite pragmatic!

It’s not easy to think about, but if men do take one or more of their Dark Triad traits to the nth degree, women may still find these qualities to be alluring. Take Stockholm syndrome, for example, which suggests that people psychologically bond with their abusers despite being treated very poorly. In real hostage cases (which is where the popular term actually comes from), studies show that this psychological condition is rare, but the general principle rings all too true – people in abusive relationships find it very difficult to leave them.

Dark Triad traits aside, a man who mumbles may also supposedly be more attractive to women than a man with very clear speech. Researchers once found that mumbling was taken as a sign of masculinity, while precision in pronunciation was a sign of femininity. Thinking back on our Hollywood heartthrobs, gruff men like classic actor Marlon Brando or modern actor Tom Hardy are known to be somewhat intelligible but still give alluring performances. 

Further research shows that, when women were looking for long-term relationships, they preferred men who spoke more clearly and felt those men had higher prestige. But in general, a dark trait like having a huskier and lower voice could be a turn-on because the words that come from them have an intense, demanding energy…so long as the words themselves are somewhat kind.

He Does Have Some Wiggle Room, Don’t Worry

Some bemoan the concept of “tall, dark, and handsome” as being racist because it, as they’d say, really just describes someone who could be ethnically ambiguous but just a white guy in all reality. Others would complain – and justifiably so – that this couldn’t be a universal beauty standard for men because prominent cultures around the globe actually prefer paleness. Many countries in Asia are the best examples of this.

Tanned skin on otherwise “pale” people has been associated with the rural, impoverished class that had to work in the fields. Skin color kind of became indicative of your social class, and it wasn’t until Coco Chanel made it trendy in 1923 to have tanned skin that this concept did a 180, becoming a sign of wealth. Chanel, and other upper class individuals, had the luxury of going on sunny vacations. As such, the all-over tan then took both the fashion industry and common culture by storm. 

But in Asia, the cultural norm has remained that pale skin is indicative of being high class. You’ll see Asian women completely covering their skin with their clothing, carrying UV umbrellas, and even whitening their skin with dangerous chemicals to remain as pearly as possible. This trend applies to Asian men as well; look no further than the K-Pop industry, where even the male idols are lauded by fans for being “Snow Whites.”

Think I’m just looking at things myopically? Men in Thailand can literally get “penis whitening” treatments. It’s not just Asia, either. There’s also quite a bit of colorism against darker skinned people within Latino and Hispanic cultures, both in Central and South America and in the United States. 

The “tall, dark, and handsome” concept is also hotly contested on the internet in the “Pretty Boys” vs “Chads” discourse. Some swear that women prefer hypermasculine men, while others believe that it’s actually more common for women to go for feminized “pretty boys.” Frankly, with more women on birth control and suppressing their ovulation than ever before, I wouldn’t be surprised if “Pretty Boys” are gearing up to have their time in the spotlight.

Furthermore, ‘roided-up figures really cater more toward the male gaze, and, in my opinion, suggest feminine degrees of neuroticism about appearance. Hypermasculinity may win points for men among men, but ask any woman you know if she’d rather settle down with a Mr. Olympia or a far-less muscular Chris Pratt, and I’d wager she’d pick the latter.

Closing Thoughts

Beauty is, of course, in the eye of the beholder, and since each of us comes from different cultural backgrounds, our personal preferences simply aren’t the same across the board. But, there’s something innately seductive about a man who embodies at least some, if not all, of the “tall, dark, and handsome” traits. 

His demeanor makes him appear more unpredictable, and therefore, exciting, his stoic and guarded facade suggests there are hidden vulnerabilities lurking inside for us to unpack, his aloofness conveys a higher degree of introspection and intelligence, and he might come off as cool and collected, despite adversity thrown his way. Women like a lot of diverse things, but there are clearly good reasons why the “tall, dark, and handsome” trope simply won’t go away any time soon.

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