Sexiness Is An Essential Aspect Of Any Healthy Society—Here’s Why

Sexiness, the concept that encompasses certain alluring, seductive, sensual, or provocative qualities, functions practically like currency. One person’s subjective view of “sexy” could be a major turn-off to someone else, but the sheer act of temptation objectively has the power to drive someone to greatness or madness. You know sexy when you see it, but sexy doesn’t just take one static form. More than just physical appearance, sexiness is about how a person presents themselves in real time, how confident they are in their own skin, and the unique ways they let their natural charm speak for itself. 

You’re not supposed to think too hard about it; authentic sexiness comes effortlessly. Your hair may be a bit wind-tousled and out of place, and your clothes may not be couture. You’re not worried about whether or not you’ve gotten enough procedures done or applied enough products to mask any perceived imperfections, and while you’ve got a functioning filter, you’re not consciously stressing to say all the right things.

We admire honest sex appeal because it’s an antidote to stress-inducing neuroticism amid a world full of distressed, high-strung people who just can’t seem to hang. But, with many more people chronically isolating themselves in echo chambers – whether living online through social media interactions or lethargically binge-watching film and television that skews their grasp on real communication – a lack of real socialization is sabotaging people’s ability to be inherently sexy. Sexiness, in its many unique shapes and forms, is an integral element of a healthy, functioning society. Here’s why we cannot de-sex ourselves and further our risk of population collapse.

What Is Sexiness?

Sexiness can’t function as a replacement for a woman’s self-esteem and definitely isn’t essential to her value as a human being, according to scholars in Aesthetics, who go on to explain that a woman’s “confidence, comfort, and sense of improvisation” guides authentic sexual expression rather than “discomfort, insecurity, and a strict adherence to norms.” Some qualities are externally determined, meaning that our culture curates the types of things that men find to be aesthetically intriguing about a woman (think: the boobs versus butts debate), but others are built-in to our biology. 

Critics may say that the concept of sexiness in general is just some way to oppress women by enforcing gender inequality and promoting the male gaze. But, what they’re getting wrong is what “sexiness” really looks like. Authentic sexiness – not animalistic lust – can actually empower a woman to embrace her femininity and the unique traits that set her apart from the opposite sex. When men can see women genuinely thriving, they may be more inclined to respond with honest respect, warmth, and honor. That little pas de deux cultivates a more productive environment to thrive in.

So what is sexiness, then? A sexy woman doesn’t require 20 skincare products or an abundance of cosmetic work in order to fit the mold presented to her by the entertainment industry. While gossip rags and tabloid publications may bow down to certain overproduced celebrity faces and bodies (cough cough Megan Fox), I’d wager that most men have a broader concept of what sexy means to them. 

Yes, getting dolled up is a wonderful, mood-boosting activity. But the sexy woman doesn’t spend time calculating precisely how to whip her appearance into shape. Her healthy, vibrant life is what really matters. You may be thinking, “Wow, easier said than done,” and I totally sympathize. An honestly sexy woman has crafted the skills to be calculated and cool, and not beholden to any firm, type-A habits that keep her from being able to go with the flow.

Maintaining Mystery: Reveal Less To Drive Men To Want More

Wouldn’t you agree that a bit of mystery is much more compelling than being visually assaulted by overly hypersexualized imagery? There’s a certain je ne sais quoi about a woman whose beauty and charm can shine through any garment; she’s unironically gatekeeping her own sexual power. She can still be gazed upon by men and that may lead to “objectification,” but she’s not outwardly seeking attention. And if she is, she’s doing so tastefully.

The concept of sexiness isn’t rigid and can vary from culture to culture. Still, there are some guardrails in place that act as unofficial rules to keep things enticing: the element of mystery. The reason why sexuality sells so well is that, when done right, it’s operating upon principles of taboo. Sexiness isn’t outright discouraged, but a woman’s sexual energy is given its own tasteful time and place. Women used to reserve skimpy attire for beach trips or intimate time with their partners, but nowadays, apparel from popular brands like Nasty Gal, Forever21, or BooHoo essentially market bikinis and lingerie as casual attire. Post-sexual revolution, it can begin to feel like promiscuity and the normalization of prostitution have erased any taboos that sexiness once played with.

What Does Sexiness Actually Mean to Society?

Human beings are pretty complex. Can you think of many other creatures that even have a concept of mystery or taboo? In terms of mental cognition, humans are at the apex; we verbally and non-verbally communicate using cultural constructs. We might use euphemisms to say one thing while we mean another or flirt by making ourselves less available. Physically speaking, the way we play our games of attraction with one another isn’t as straightforward as other animals.

Humans, like some other primates, appear to be missing a visible estrus cycle. This period of time, which we observe in other mammals as the female being “in heat,” marks peak fertility and readiness to reproduce. Since we don’t go “in heat” like a dog might, our sexiness doesn’t exactly peak at any particular time; rather, it’s believed that we’re just naturally sexy mammals. Yes, there are certain evolutionary elements that we still experience – like how our cervical mucus and cervix change around ovulation or how we may actually be feeling our friskiest – but from the outside, our increased fertility is mostly undetectable.

As you can see, our mystery-driven mating game isn’t just some mechanical chore we use to pass on our genetics. Sex is a perfectly healthy, pleasurable act that may also serve a psychological purpose in pair-bonding. But, we can’t have good sex and then have good numbers of offspring if we’re not hormonally healthy.

The degree to which hormonal contraceptives and other endocrine disruptors can affect sex drive varies from person to person. Some women report feeling incredibly “in the mood” while taking hormonal birth control, but many have issues with their libido while on their hormonal contraceptive of choice. What’s more – going off the pill could actually make a woman more physically attractive. On a similar note, men now have lower testosterone levels than recorded in previous history. Of course, this could be because of endocrine disruptors like phthalates, but some of the most easily-solved reasons for why we have less healthy men (and as a result, less sexy men) are sedentary lifestyles, chronic sleep deprivation, excess weight, and autoimmune diseases. Moving more and eating better portions and less inflammatory ingredients could reverse testosterone deficiency and boost libido.

If we don’t physically feel and look sexy because we’re not healthy, we’re missing a critical element of attraction between men and women. Our desire for a relationship isn’t just based on sex, but as a general rule of thumb, couples are meant to have sex to bond and to create a family unit. In turn, this leads to a more stable society. We need to have a healthy attitude toward sex because we’re biologically built to enjoy it and have children the way that nature intended. We’re not supposed to suppress our sexual instincts with puritanical shame or cave to hypersexualized bacchanalia.

Rethinking Attitudes Toward Sex

Extremes rarely have favorable outcomes. When a culture is too traditional, it ends up viewing relationships from a stiff, utilitarian perspective, but when a society is too progressive, it ends up viewing relationships as a form of self-indulgent pleasure.

Children don’t benefit from shame being used to develop their emotions. The shrouds of secrecy surrounding any and all forms of sexuality which more puritanical parents use to protect their children end up stunting their natural development. No, children certainly don’t benefit from obscenities corrupting their developing brains either, but if sex is treated like an act of profanity and can’t be maturely spoken about at the right time, some children may develop obsessive feelings about it in private or feel dysfunction later in life.

On one end of the extreme, models like the American Puritan approach or fundamentalist Islam regulate, moralize, and punish all forms of sexiness. Sure, it’s certainly healthier to adopt a few more “puritanical” behaviors than shrug your shoulders when drag queens cosplaying in Satanic bondage get-ups emulate gay orgies (and in some cases, even expose themselves in the process) in front of children. But not all elements of sexiness push us down that slippery slope.

Sexual energy isn’t degenerate. Non-reproductive sex isn’t degenerate. You should, as an animal, have a hormonally-driven libido! As mentioned before, if your libido is lacking, you may have some unaddressed (or under-addressed) hormonal imbalances.

Authentic sexual energy fosters a society that wants to reproduce and pass along productive values. On the other end of the extremes, hedonistic sexual energy can lead people to either not have children, have children outside of committed, ring-on-the-finger relationships, or develop an inability to actually pair-bond or settle into a relationship necessary to properly raise the next generation.

Look no further than entertainment industry elites. It’s not uncommon for them to be self-indulgent, end up knocked up by a baby daddy (hello KarJenners!), but then have the luxury of endless resources to provide those children birthed out of wedlock with the support needed to thrive.

Furthermore, when men and women lean into hedonistic sexual energy, we’re actually opening ourselves up to objectification and being reduced to our body parts. Post-sexual revolution, women are empowered to dress the way we want, act the way we want, and demand more from the world around us. You’d think that would mean that we’re feeling happier, but self-esteem levels still continue to drop. More traditional models of relationships could provide us mental stability, but perhaps too many people are caught up in a constant chase for quick validation.

OnlyFans and Pornography and Instant Gratification

Click on a woman’s viral tweet, and oftentimes the first reply will be the original poster sharing a link to her OnlyFans to capitalize on the clicks. Find a woman through a dating app, snoop around on her Instagram, click her bio links, and you may be redirected to a landing page…which features one to her OnlyFans page. According to TechReport, the primary purpose of the OnlyFans platform is to “provide creators with a means of monetizing their content,” and then users can “establish a more intimate connection with their fans.”

Perhaps the creators of OnlyFans didn’t intend for it to become the top platform to share lewd, pornographic materials, but that’s what it has become. In a sense, you could treat OnlyFans like a Patreon or Substack-style platform to monetize normal, safe-for-work content, such as fitness or cooking videos, but it has a reputation for adult content for a reason. The most common creators on OnlyFans are models, then influencers, and then adult performers.

Camming sites and other platforms that offer erotic content subscriptions (IsMyGirl or Fansly, for example) have been rising in popularity over the past decade. As a result of the OnlyFans phenomenon, men who were once in pursuit of meaningful relationships with women in real life are now the biggest subscribers to OnlyFans models! But these platforms aren’t a surefire way for a woman (or man) to make money off their nudes; in fact, the side gig is often less lucrative than working at a fast food chain.

And at what cost? If you opt for an OnlyFans side hustle, you may not have the same capacity for intimacy you once had, you may be desensitized to abusive conduct in relationships, and you might feel a loss of ownership over your own likeness. As one Twitter user admitted, the sex positivity movement intensified her hypersexuality which she believes allowed her to be used by “countless men” in her teenage years “in the name of being ‘free.’”

As the old adage goes, prostitution is perhaps the world’s oldest profession. But now, the brothel has moved to the digital sphere. While people can still visit with sex workers in person, the increased ease of access to prostitution’s various virtual forms explains how our relationship with sexuality has become so skewed. 

Simulation can only attempt to resemble “the real,” so when you detach something like sexuality from reality, Baudrillard-esque principles suggest that you decrease its value. Porn culture is less-than-satisfying and leaves the viewer hungry for more. Think of it like when you eat a fluffy piece of bread made using enriched, bleached white flour instead of that wholesome, grainy slice from a multigrain sourdough loaf packed with satiating fiber.

An outright ban on pornography won’t actually solve the cultural issue at hand, and some believe that it could worsen women’s exploitation. You don’t just simply stop sexual degeneracy by becoming more restrictive. As a general rule, when something is strongly restricted, people will still find a way to get whatever is being barred. What does aid against sexual degeneracy is providing positive models of healthy relationships and instilling good values in the next generation.

Less Sex = Fewer People 

Another aspect of our increasingly unsexy and unhealthy society is how anti-life policies promise immediate comforts. Have you noticed how we’re seeing a stronger emergence of certain groups that voluntarily de-sexualize their lives entirely? Voluntary celibacy, a term once used for religious reasons, is being used as an adoptable identity. “Volcels,” the intentional answer to “incels,” are a group of people who are saying no to sex. 

Some of them are turned off by the act of sex entirely and may believe they’re asexual, some are simply frustrated by the dating sphere, and some are outright depressed and hormonally imbalanced. A 90% increase in Google search queries for “celibacy” in one month alone and #celibacy on TikTok having 252.3M views doesn’t indicate a healthy, functional society, if you ask me.

In an interview with The Guardian, author of The Case Against the Sexual Revolution Louise Perry explained that the proliferation of pornography has had a “really destructive effect on sexual culture” and now “increasing numbers are opting out of the sexual culture altogether.” 

Research backs up the volcel phenomenon in a few notable ways. Pornographic materials create an “anti-attachment” mindset where securely attached relationships become undermined by the viewers feeling sexually liberated through short-term satisfaction. If hedonistic promiscuity is what you’re seeking, then I’m sure pornography scratches that itch, but if you’re hoping for meaningful, fulfilling sexual experiences, numbing your brain with eroticism is not the answer.

“The current surplus of exposed flesh in the public realm has led to a devaluation of women and, paradoxically, to sexual ennui,” said Camille Paglia in an essay released by The Hollywood Reporter where she made a call-to-action for our Western society to recalibrate how women present – not only in the workplace, but on social media platforms. 

On screen, Hollywood starlets from years past could suggest eroticism without showing much of their skin at all. Today, it seems like almost all actors and actresses succumb to the “nude scene.” Paglia asserts that this “sexed-up online exhibitionism” has backfired on us. 

Old Hollywood romance and sensuality are nothing like what we get today with shows like Sam Levinson’s Euphoria or The Idol. Is it any surprise that the latter, his hypersexual, super uncomfortable show dubbed “sexual torture porn” ended early? 

Finally, some researchers have observed that we might be in a “sex recession,” where younger generations are either late bloomers or putting school or a career before diving into a sexual relationship. Perhaps this generation of women – also more likely to be on hormonal birth control which, as mentioned, is known to zap your libido by blocking natural hormones and pumping your body with artificial ones – is also less interested in sexiness because they’re sexually unhealthy.

These are all symptoms of an unhealthy society. Now, America’s birth rate is under its repopulation level. Over half of nations worldwide have a similar struggle! We’re looking at a very likely population collapse if we don’t fix our society’s relationship with “sexy,” and that will translate into negative, lasting effects on global health and economic outlooks.

Closing Thoughts

We may not feel the effects of population collapse tomorrow, but society as we know it will feel those effects with increasing magnitude. If population growth goes negative, what happens to economic growth, for instance? This is not meant to be some sort of pressure campaign for all women to ditch their careers and shift their focus toward childrearing, but civilizational collapse is a very slippery slope. 

As neuroscientist turned venture capitalist founder turned pronatalist educator Malcolm Collins explained to Spencer Greenberg on the Clearer Thinking podcast, basic functions of society can and will degrade, starting with our supply chains, then social programs, then infrastructure, and at that point you could risk civil unrest. It’s all a hypothetical, but it’s something to ponder when you’re wondering what the future of humanity could realistically look like. I just highly doubt that de-sexing ourselves in a transhumanist manner could lead to a durable, healthy future when we can see on a micro-level just how much it has already muddied the water.

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