How To Step Into Your Dark Femme Era And Embrace Your Inner Wednesday Addams

In a sea of “it girls” taking over social media, Jenny Ortega’s portrayal of Wednesday Addams is a breath of fresh air. Her pigtails, dark eyeliner, and, of course, her tenacity has influenced her fandom to be more like her – and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with this! Because, while she is a broody teen and a complete contrast from the ultra-feminine, sweet, and bubbly (like her opposite, Enid) archetype, Wednesday has tons of qualities that we can all learn to embody and benefit from.

It’s time we let go of the idea that “femininity” should be associated with light and love, when it’s far more expansive and complex than that. We are multifaceted, incredible beings. Yet, I believe that many women have become too passive in the name of being more “feminine” or "good-hearted," when there should be a good balance of assertiveness and gentleness. With that being said, if you’ve been feeling the urge to embrace your inner Wednesday Addams, look no further. Here are the steps you need to take to awaken and harness the darker feminine energies within you. 

Always Make Eye Contact 

Wednesday Addams is always staring into someone else’s soul. So, whether you're in a serious conversation or a flirty one – make eye contact. If you want to be a seductress, you must fearlessly gaze into someone's eyes. One study found that attraction and arousal was significantly enhanced in the participants who made eye contact with other people. 

That’s not all – you assert your dominance by keeping your posture straight while having laser-focused eyes. It makes you look confident (even if you're squirming on the inside), poised, and self-assured. Still, I understand how putting this into practice can be difficult at times, especially when you’re an introvert. Here’s a tip: only stare at one eye or their forehead. 

Observe Body Language and Tells 

Wednesday observes people and their tells. If you don’t know what a tell is, it’s a specific behavior that shows someone’s true feelings. The nervous rubbing of the neck, shaking the leg, playing with your hair, or avoiding eye contact are just a few examples of this. There are many benefits for observing others and seeing right through them. For one, you can’t be fooled. Plus, you can use it to your advantage, like in job interviews or dates. Now, learning about body language definitely takes some practice and awareness, so I recommend just people-watching first whenever you’re in public.

Once you learn about different tells and mannerisms, you have the upper hand. Let’s say you’re on a date, and you notice that you said something that might have caused your potential partner to tense up when you asked them a question. If their answer to your inquiry didn’t match or reflect their behavior, then that might mean they’re lying. In this case, you can now make a more informed decision on whether or not you want to see them again. 

Never Tell Them Everything About Yourself 

Wednesday doesn’t just open up to anyone – they have to gain her trust first, and the same should go for all of us. When on first or second dates, be honest and share your hobbies and interests, but don’t be a fully open book. Everyone (just like Wednesday) loves a good mystery! 

Listen to Your Intuition 

Okay, you might not have psychic abilities like Wednesday, but you for sure have natural instincts that you really need to start listening to if you haven't been doing so already. You know that gut feeling you get when you should talk to someone or do something? That’s your intuition, your superpower, and you must use it more often. Of course, this is easier said than done.

If you want to tap into your intuition, you have to silence the anxious or worrying thoughts that are overpowering it. The first step is to calm your nervous system down. There are several ways to do this, including meditation, yoga, and breathwork. Anxieties and depression can also be caused by nutritional deficiencies, so make sure you’re getting all of the vitamins and minerals you need! 

Once you feel more calm, find a quiet place free that's free of distractions and slow down your breath. Then, ask yourself some questions. You might hear some answers or feel something. If you’re struggling with this practice and can't really hear anything, you can also try writing. Do the first step in this paragraph, then grab a journal and jot down whatever comes to mind! And the more you practice listening within, the better you’ll get at following your intuition. 

Put Yourself First and Know Your Worth

Let’s be real, Wednesday Addams is pretty self-interested. However, there’s a big difference between narcissism and self-love, and we’re focusing on the latter. A lot of us were taught to appease our parents, teachers, and bosses. As a result, some of us get caught up in being a “yes-man,” completely ignoring our own wants and needs – I mean, Wednesday could never do that. 

But if you do have a tendency to fill someone else’s cup up before you even fill your own, here’s my advice: be more confident and learn to say “no!” Know your worth and understand that you are invaluable. Never let anyone guilt-trip you into doing something that you don’t feel in alignment with. Don’t stick around in a soul-sucking job or relationship. Only seek out partnerships that benefit you by helping you learn and grow, and don’t settle for anything less. 

Wear What Makes You Feel Confident 

Wednesday wore what she felt comfortable in. Before you step out, don’t just quickly choose something out of your wardrobe. Instead, choose consciously. Ask yourself: “What outfit would make me feel really confident?” or “What style do I resonate with?” If you still haven’t really found a specific style for yourself yet, you can start with a Kibbe test and dress according to your body type so you can start wearing more flattering outfits!

Never Give Up or Doubt Yourself

When Wednesday has a goal, she will stop at nothing to achieve it. Giving up is not an option for her, and it shouldn't be for you either. If you really desire something, do everything you can to remind yourself of how bad you want it. Make a vision board, journal as if you've already achieved it, and make a game plan on how you're going to make it happen. I'm not saying you need to be obsessed over achieving a goal. What I am saying, however, is that you have to step into the most confident version of yourself and have reminders so that you don't get distracted.

If you're prone to self-doubt, this can be difficult. If this is the case, I urge you to act like you've already accomplished what you set out to do. It's better to feel like you've won than worry about the outcome.

Closing Thoughts 

Okay, I admit it, these are a lot of steps. But if there’s one way to find and embrace your inner Wednesday, it’s to unapologetically be yourself, regardless of what people think about you. Finding the strength to do whatever makes you happy is a powerful act in and of itself, and that’s what the dark femme era is all about – stepping into your power and relinquishing control. 

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