The 6 Best Dating Etiquette Tips From Le French Husband

While keeping his actual name secret, relationship influencer Le French Husband said in an interview that his mission across his social platforms is to give dating tips since “dating has gotten complicated, but some timeless principles still hold true. … That’s where I come in. My aim is to blend French sophistication with some honest, down-to-earth advice. We’re talking elegance, but relatable and real.” 

With a following of 241k on Instagram and 112K on TikTok, Le French Husband is building a movement by hosting self-improvement events as well as match-making parties, mostly in Los Angeles and New York. 

While some of the advice is classic material you’ve likely heard your grandma assert at the Thanksgiving table, Le French Husband has a way of bringing it into 2024 with impeccable fashion and beautiful settings. With everyone talking about Le French Husband lately, I decided to do a deep dive into some of his most helpful and controversial dating etiquette advice. Here are my favorite tips:

True Love, True Self

“Everyone deserves a relationship where they can be their true selves, and your individuality should never be suppressed,” advises Le French Husband.

This advice goes both ways. First, love yourself for who you are, instead of seeking validation from a resume. When we show up to a date ready to tell or show the other person how wonderful we are by listing every impressive thing we’ve ever done, we can come off as show-offs – which is actually a turn-off. Shielding ourselves with titles and accomplishments is more likely to hinder a deep connection than it is to create a spark. Instead, be yourself and embrace your individuality from the beginning. In the words of Lana Del Rey, it’s “The soul that you bring to the table.”

Being engaged in conversation and genuinely curious about the other person takes away all the potential awkwardness and allows for a connection to naturally happen. 

And keep in mind that trying to change or control someone is never out of love. Aiming to change someone or even ourselves is, more often than not, based on insecurities. Instead, let’s learn to be vulnerable, humble, and accepting of ourselves and others. 

The Power of First Impressions

“It is about how you present yourself and how you make others feel from the very first moment,” says Le French Husband.

I am not as hopeless about the consequences of a bad first impression as Le French Husband is, but there is certainly no doubt that it’s preferable and ideal to have a good start than to have to fix it later. It’s also true that we don’t always have opportunities for second chances. There is only one chance for a first impression, so be mindful. 

I was born in a fairly small city where everyone knew each other, and I have many childhood memories of every single woman I knew putting on makeup, doing their hair, and wearing a good outfit whenever they would go grocery shopping, to the bank, or on any other typical errand. Why? Because they knew they were likely to run into someone they knew, and if that someone was accompanied by someone else, then they would be making a first impression on top of asserting an already existing reputation. In simpler words, always leave home as if you were going to meet up with someone you care about.

In our current culture, this is less thought of but still very much relevant. A good guy friend of mine went to his neighborhood hair salon for a haircut this summer, where he was struck by a woman getting her hair blow-dried a few seats over. Long story short, he asked her out and they are currently dating. These kinds of random meetings are still a thing and are way more likely to happen when we put effort into presenting our best self: look neat, have an open attitude, be attentive to your surroundings. Your body language and the energy you bring into the room matter because, whether you like it or not, they do affect others and create an impression of you. 

Self-Control Is Key

“Self-control is all about maintaining your composure no matter the challenge,” explains Le French Husband.

We’ve all been there. We’ve felt the emotions rise up and our instinct to react in an aggressive or dramatic way kick in. Given that dating requires so much vulnerability or at least putting ourselves out there, no wonder it can also leave us feeling ready to flip tables. But these kinds of emotionally triggered reactions can easily turn into self-sabotaging. Some things may seem right and fair in the moment and not so fun when you are dealing with the consequences. 

It takes practice, but getting in the habit of not being too quick to react will always play to your own benefit. If you get ghosted, stood up, or even cheated on, maintaining composure as you face challenges will always help you respond in a constructive, healthy manner. 

Retaining self-control as you face challenges will always be a sign of strength, elegance, and maturity.  It’s not just about keeping peace with the man you’re dating, but about keeping the respect and, consequently, the dignity of yourself and the other.

Respect Is Not Conditional

“Respect is not conditional. We should try to uplift and support each other,” asserts Le French Husband.

We’ve all seen the rom-coms in which the girl ends up throwing the guy’s belongings out the window, or she vandalizes his clothes, throws a drink at him, etc. This is usually presented as justified because it follows some sort of disrespectful behavior on his part, but in all reality, disrespecting others because they have disrespected us doesn’t do much for ourselves. Sure, the release of anger and the fleeting sense of justice may be worth the excitement, but the outburst won’t heal the hurt caused by his initial disrespect. It may even result in regret, escalation, and humiliation for you in the long term. 

It also works the other way around: His respect for you should not be conditional. It’s not earned through perfect actions, but something you are entitled to due to your own dignity. Don’t let anyone make you feel as if you have to earn their respect or aim to please their standards. Respecting ourselves often sets the tone of how others should treat us. Ultimately, respect is about compassion, empathy, and understanding. It is to your benefit to understand that you and others deserve respect even if you or they are upset. 

Paying for Dates Is an Expression of Generosity

“It is not about the coffee, it is about what the gesture represents. Offering to pay for coffee is a courtesy, not a demonstration of wealth,” says Le French Husband.

I’ve always been a firm believer that a man should pay for dates, especially first dates. In my own dating experience, this has not been challenged by men, but it certainly has by other women. I once had a female friend tell me I would never be treated as an equal if I was not able to split the bills equally. The problem with getting so mathematical with the relationship is that it takes away the pursuing, the generosity, and some intentionality, and turns it into a financial transaction. There is no harm in treating him to something as well, and if you have the means and want to give him a treat, your generosity is something to celebrate. But keep in mind that the fact that you are willing and able to pay should not take away his disposition to pay. 

When I reflect on my own dating, I remember the college boys who bought me ice cream, and their generosity is equal to the Harvard lawyer who often treated me to expensive dates or even the financier who gave me a check for $1,000 when he knew I was having a hard time financially during the early days of Covid. I did not ask for nor demand either of these things, but each of these men had the disposition to serve, provide, and take care of. (I never cashed the $1,000 check as I ended up not needing it, and I didn’t want the self-created pressure to pay it back. He said I could pay him back if I was more comfortable with that, but he was not expecting it. I kept it as a token of his generosity toward me.) While things between me and neither one of those guys worked out, this attitude was always what I looked for. In many ways, those treating me for ice cream during our college days were perhaps even more generous than the successful career men I dated in my mid-twenties, since that ice cream took a bigger toll on these guys' college budget than the expensive dates did for the seven figure lawyer.

The Rendezvous Rule

Le French Husband says, “A rendezvous is not an interview. Have you ever found yourself on a date or meeting someone for the first time and feeling bombarded with questions?”

A date is meant to be fun and should never feel like an interview. Neither are we scouting for bad things, nor are we throwing out random statements that we think will flatter us or give a particular perception. Aside from being wrong and boring, these kinds of situations are simply not helpful for dating. Getting to know someone is not just gathering information for a checklist; getting to know someone means getting to know their character, their points of view, and what matters to them. Surely, with time we will get to know their past, and some things about it may be difficult, but neither party is obligated to disclose difficult things until the trust and emotional safety of a relationship is established. 

For example, I have a friend who is a single mom, and she doesn’t like to disclose too many details about what happened with her daughter’s dad during initial dates, but once a man has proven himself trustworthy and a relationship is established, she will be more vulnerable about her past struggles with her ex. This kind of juicy topic can pique a big interest in initial dates but disclosing the details certainly needs to be well-paced.

Closing Thoughts

While Le French Husband receives occasional criticism for his "outdated" views, there is no doubt that following his advice will help everyone grow in confidence and avoid unnecessary troubles. Maybe the old-fashioned approach really can bring around a new love after all.