The Funniest DMs From Sugar Daddy Wannabes

Some of these messages are so strange and obviously scams that they prove to be hilarious, and we asked some of our readers to send in the funniest DMs they've received from wannabe sugar daddies.

DMs Evie Readers Have Received

One reader sent in a series of messages from over a period of three days. The first message said, “Hey, I’m sorry if this offends you, but I find you really attractive and would love for you to be my sugar baby. Just letting you know my intentions in case you will be interested. Let’s talk terms. Like a weekly allowance. Just basically paying you for your time… no sexual relationships. I’ll love you to set up a weekly allowance of about $500.”

The second message comes the next morning: “I hope your morning is as bright and gorgeous as your smile.” The last two messages came the next day: “Can you give me your time and attention here online? More like an online relationship.” This was immediately followed with “f*** you.”

More readers sent in shorter messages from wannabe sugar daddies:

• “You pretty and thicc.”

• “Hello, I’ll pay you 500 2x a week if I can trust you.”

• “My name is Brian and I like juice, want to be my sugar hunny?”

• “I need someone to spend money on… wanna be my sweetie?”

• “I’m not like rich rich, so I’d be more like a Splenda daddy.”

Others include requests for feet pictures, dirty socks (for $100, of course), promises of a kingdom in the Middle East, creepy poems, and one guy who didn’t realize that “I’m underage” wasn’t a clear signal to stop pursuing her. These DMs are hilarious, yet it terrifies us to know that there are men out there who have the audacity to send these creepy messages.

Sugar Daddy Attempts from the Interweb

We also scoured the internet for funny sugar daddy DMs, and we weren’t disappointed.

Twitter user Liv Maddix posted a screenshot from her Instagram DMs that was filled with so many grammar errors that it’s painful to read.

The funniest part of the post is the comments pointing out that there’s no way this guy can afford to be a sugar daddy with such horrible grammar skills. It's likely that English is his second language, but either way, this level of cringe is painfully hilarious.

Another funny post comes from Reddit, which reads, “Dm to be my sugar baby and I’m seriously ready to get you spoiled well enough, will pay your necessary bills and be giving ya weekly allowance. Baby from the US/UK.”

With the poor grammar and cringey language (like, what does it mean to be spoiled well enough?), this appears to be a standard sugar daddy wannabe DM. However, what sets this one apart is how he ends the message with two emojis: one is the flag of the United Kingdom, and the other of Liberia. It appears that he was trying to find the American flag, but was too lazy to look closely and examine it.

The woman who received this also noticed this, and savagely clapped back, “Hey you dumb f***. That is not a US flag, that’s the flag of Liberia. I reckon an intelligent and successful person might be able to tell the difference. Alas you are a just a half-arsed, generic scammer.”

Is It All a Scam?

It should be obvious that you shouldn’t answer any of these creepy DMs, but some women do and can fall victim to these scammers, either because they actually buy it or because they decide to play along to see what happens. A TikTok user named Kylie went viral in June for exposing one of these fake sugar daddies. She said, “You know those sugar daddy scammers on Instagram? Well, I decided to entertain one for funsies, just to see what would happen, see if it would work. Spoiler alert: It was a scam.”

The guy sent her a check for $3,000 which she deposited, thinking that it would likely bounce. “I did not know that the check was fraudulent when I deposited it,” she says. “It wasn’t until after, when he started asking for money that I realized, yup, it was a scam. I wasn’t going to send money or give any of my bank account information.”

He then asked her for $1,000 to donate to an orphanage, but wouldn’t give her any details about the name or location of the orphanage. At this point Kylie blocked him on social media, but he still had her full name, email, and phone number. The fake sugar daddy continued to harass her through several different phone numbers and threatened to report her to the FBI. He even threatened to “end her life.” Kylie later clarified that she wasn’t in trouble with her bank for attempting to deposit the fraudulent check.

Another woman on Reddit shared the story of the time she messed with one of these scammers. After he sent her a standard (and creepy) introductory message, she replied by saying that she was interested. After chatting back and forth, he told her that she had to get a Google Play credit card to receive her payments. He claimed that he had trouble in the past with other services like CashApp and PayPal, but she wasn’t buying it.

After she called him out, he wrote, “Babe daddy is not here to mess with you or f*** you over. I’m here to take good care of you and spoil you with my money as long as you don’t let me down… so we humans aren’t the same, trust me.”

She finished the conversation with “You’re trying so hard, how cute. Still no.” 

According to Elle Australia, many of these sugar daddy scammers will promise to send you money if you send them money or a gift card first. Though it’s possible that some of these DMs might be real, we’d suggest blocking these accounts immediately. It might be tempting or entertaining to mess with them, but it’s best to block and report them instead. 

Even if you think it’s real, why would you want a sugar daddy in the first place? It’s much more empowering (and a lot safer) to earn your own money than to get it from a stranger on the internet. That designer bag a sugar daddy can get you may be tempting, but not as rewarding as using your own money to treat yourself to nice things once in awhile. Or, what about going the “old fashioned” route and getting married to a man you love and respect, who will take care of you out of true love?

Closing Thoughts

Though some sugar daddy DMs might be hilarious, there’s a good chance that you’re being scammed. The best thing we can do is block these creepy messages, but it doesn’t hurt to laugh at them before we do.

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