There Are Entire Towns Full Of Single Men In China—Here’s Why

Without giving it much thought, it’s easy to blame the prejudice against daughters on the Chinese government’s one-child policy, which was enacted in 1979 in an attempt to control the population and ensure a better quality of life for Chinese citizens. If couples were allowed only one child, while abhorrent, it would stand to reason they would want a son to carry on the family name and his father’s bloodline. Yet, China has a history of female infanticide spanning at least 2,000 years, with the extreme bias toward sons largely being shaped by the teachings of Confucius (551–479 B.C.). 

The present issue of there being an estimated 12 million Chinese bachelors between the ages of 30 and 39, compared to 6 million Chinese bachelorettes in the same age range, can certainly be blamed on the one-child policy, but the problem would perhaps be less extreme if there weren’t such a deep-seated, culturally integrated disdain for daughters.

A Long History of Hatred

Part of Confucius’ teachings is the belief that sons are far preferable to daughters. Sons were seen as a financial and cultural asset to a family, while daughters were seen as a burden. Sons could provide for their families by working and were better at manual labor than their female counterparts, and even if they married, they were still obliged to care for their family of origin and ensure the financial stability and care of their parents into old age. Not to mention the fact that only boys could inherit family property and further the family bloodline.

Meanwhile, daughters were unable to work in the same capacity as their male counterparts, and when they married, they effectively left their family of origin to become a part of their husband’s. If her husband wanted to move away, there was a chance that she’d never see her parents or siblings again; there was no expectation of her to care for them in any way. In addition to that, when it would come time for her to marry, her parents were obliged to pay a dowry to her husband. For poor families especially, it was a financial strain to have daughters.

In 19th-century China, there existed the practice of brutally murdering baby girls mere moments after birth. In the book Drowning Girls in China, American historian D.E. Mungello writes, “As soon as the little girls are born, they are plunged into the water in order to drown them or force is applied to their bodies in order to suffocate them or they are strangled with human hands. ... If the mother is not cruel enough to take the life of her daughter, then her father-in-law, mother-in-law, or husband agitates her by their words to kill the girl.”

By 2055, there will be 30% more men than women in China.

Following the collectivization of labor during the Great Leap Forward in 1958 (which caused millions of deaths) and the subsequent industrialization of China, girls and women were made to do the same manual labor as their male counterparts. Despite this “mobilization,” the government in 1979 enacted the one-child policy, thus bringing back the preference for boys over girls. With ultrasound technology, baby girls could be aborted before birth, but many still, especially in impoverished regions, would abandon their baby girls and leave them for dead. The Washington Post reported in 1985, “Official population statistics indicate a loss of more than 230,000 baby girls in 1981, a casualty list that is said to have grown dramatically in more recent years as the Communist government tightened its nationwide policy limiting Chinese couples to one child.”

“Appear Strong When You Are Weak”

Now, China is suffering the social consequences of this cultural preference for men, with twice as many single men compared to single women. What will happen when these men can’t find a wife? Will crime increase? Will violence against women increase? Will the sex trade and porn industry grow?  

Despite the objective reality that men far outnumber women, so much that there are entire towns where only the “leftover” men live since the women of those towns were able to leave to find husbands, some still have the audacity to put women down, as if men are really in a position to be picky.

Cantonese and Mandarin tutor Dr. Candise Lin explains the slang used in China when referring to bachelors and bachelorettes over 30 years old. The former are called “diamond bachelors” and “quality real estate.” The latter are called “leftover women,” “orange at the bottom of the basket,” “the sugarcane that didn’t get sold,” and “the thing used for filling the gap in the stove.”

There are markets in Chinese cities where parents can go and search for prospective dates for their sons, and they will turn women down based on their age, as demonstrated in one 34-year-old woman’s hidden camera experiment. One parent compared finding a wife to finding a good house, saying Guo Yingguang was a “great house,” but unfortunately, she was “in the countryside.” Other parents objected to her level of education (Guo has a master’s degree), and many people commented on her age, with one mother telling her she was “brave” to be in the market advertising herself.

It could absolutely be that these are attitudes held by older generations that aren’t personally and closely aware of the dating situation, and how there are simply not enough bachelorettes in China for all their sons.

Or they could be following the strategy of appearing strong, when in truth, they’re not. When dating is a serious business that determines the future of a family, it’s absolutely important to know the environment you’re in, your circumstances, your standing, and what you need to do to win, so it’s hard to believe people from older generations playing matchmaker wouldn’t be aware of how women have the advantage. It wouldn’t exactly be appealing to others if you as a man were throwing yourself at any woman who even glances at you, or if you as a parent are pleading with bachelorettes to please date your son. When dating courses that run $4,500 are in demand, it would seem that men are painfully aware and choosing to deal with it in a quieter manner. All the while not daring to afford women a modicum of reverence.

Closing Thoughts

The Chinese population is already in a precarious situation. It’s presently estimated that 6 million men will die alone, and that by 2055, there will be 30% more men than women. If they’re somehow able to course-correct, will the treatment and cultural attitudes toward women shift? In the meantime, will there be concerted efforts made to protect women from sex-based violence that may arise from lonely, misanthropic, and misogynistic men who believe they’re entitled to a wife? Or will the problem be ignored entirely, leaving men to fend for themselves how they can and women with the same cultural disdain?

While China has reversed its one-child policy and implemented a three-child policy, we won’t see the effects of that for many years, and it won’t benefit the “leftover” and soon-to-be “leftover” men in society. Simply put, for Chinese men seeking to marry a Chinese woman, they will literally be competing not only with numerous other men, but also with a woman’s peace with being single. After all, why would a woman want to marry a man who secretly harbors disdain for her?

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