This Season Of ‘The Bachelorette’ Has Viewers Livid About The Format—Here’s Why

Whether reality shows aren’t your thing or you live for the drama, this season of The Bachelorette has been a unique one. With two women leading simultaneously in the same season, fans are loving the drama yet are concerned about how the unconventional format can negatively impact the self-esteem of both leads.

This Season’s Novel Premise

For the first time in the history of the franchise, there are two leads, Rachel Recchia and Gabby Windey, who will both be looking for their future husbands for the entire season. This differs from past seasons with two leads like Clare Crawley’s season, where Tayshia Adams stepped in halfway after Clare picked her fiancé early in the process. Many believe that having two leads at the same time was a producer's idea to boost ratings, but it’s clear that the producers had no plan on how to structure the season once filming began.

The first episode is reserved for the first night and begins with limo entrances, where each guy gets a chance to introduce himself to the lead. Many contestants go all-out with props to make themselves stand out, some use it to show off their sense of humor, and some get nervous and look awkward. This season’s entrances were more awkward than ever because each contestant met both leads at the same time. 

Over the first three episodes, Rachel and Gabby got to know the contestants, and some of the men chose which woman they liked more. The third episode was completely chaotic – a couple of contestants voiced their preference for a lead nicely, while some were just mean (one guy told Gabby he preferred Rachel because Gabby was “rough around the edges”). Both women were struggling, so they decided to end the chaos by dividing the house in half. If a contestant accepted a rose from Rachel or Gabby, he was committing to pursuing her for the show, simultaneously giving up on pursuing the other woman.

To say the rose ceremony was dramatic would be an understatement. Though every man Gabby offered a rose to accepted it, Rachel received three rejections from men who said they preferred Gabby. One man changed his mind to pursue Rachel, and two men went home due to their preferred lead not picking them. You would think the rejection would stop there, but one contestant, Logan, had second thoughts after he accepted Rachel’s rose. This was dramatic not only because it was shocking, but because Logan was the only contestant that both leads connected with. If anyone were going to start drama between Rachel and Gabby, it would be Logan.

After Logan spent the entirety of the fourth episode complaining about how he felt bad for accepting Rachel’s rose while he was still hung up over Gabby, he accepted Rachel’s rose at the end of the episode so he could use the next week to talk to Gabby. He went on to tell Rachel the truth, and Gabby let him join her group date of the week. Rachel was so hurt that she burst into tears and canceled the entire daytime portion of her group date.

Because The Bachelorette loves drama, Gabby gave Logan a rose. Other than the initial shock of the drama, fans couldn’t help but notice that Rachel has been getting the short end of the stick so far this season.

What Fans Are Saying

The season began with fans confused about the format, but now they can’t help but feel like the format is detrimental to the leads’ mental health, especially Rachel's. It doesn’t take much scrolling on Twitter to see how many fans are unhappy with the format or worried for the leads.

Some fans think Rachel should quit the show and run off with Tino, the contestant she has the best connection with. It also helps that he’s the best-looking guy this season and gives her the attention she deserves.

During the fifth episode, one fan tweeted a very interesting point. Twitter user @plabella11 wrote, “I think Rachel is not used to adversity, no fault of hers but she's probably not used to rejection. Gabby was rejected by her own mother she can handle anything.”

While both leads have faced rejection this season, Rachel is not only experiencing more of it but seems to have a harder time with it. Even though she has great guys on her side, it doesn’t lessen the hurt of rejection from some of the other guys. This leads us to ask if this season’s format will harm Rachel’s and Gabby’s self-esteem in the long-run.

Who Thought This Would Be a Good Idea for Rachel’s and Gabby’s Mental Health?

Historically, the lead on The Bachelor or The Bachelorette has the majority (if not all) of the control. With one lead, all the contestants are vying for one person, and the lead decides who stays and who goes. Though there have been a couple of contestants who self-eliminate, they’re the exception to the rule. With two leads, the contestants have more power than they’ve ever had, and the constant rejection is likely to harm both the leads' self-esteem and mental health.

Our brains are wired to feel pain from rejection, as psychologist Guy Winch writes, “The same areas of our brain become activated when we experience rejection as when we experience physical pain. That’s why even small rejections hurt more than we think they should, because they elicit literal (albeit, emotional) pain.”

Winch continues, “Evolutionary psychologists believe it all started when we were hunter-gatherers who lived in tribes. Since we could not survive alone, being ostracized from our tribe was basically a death sentence. As a result, we developed an early warning mechanism to alert us when we were at danger of being ‘kicked off the island’ by our tribemates – and that was rejection. People who experienced rejection as more painful were more likely to change their behavior, remain in the tribe, and pass along their genes.”

Rejection is painful and primal; the only thing we can control is how we respond to that rejection. We can't blame Rachel for crying over yet another rejection, but we do hope that she tries to overcome her difficult situation and focus on her connections with the men who have decided to stay and pursue her.

Another issue with the format is that pitting two women against each other plays on the female insecurity of comparing yourself to another woman. It’s not just the rejection of “I don’t think we’re a good match”; it’s the rejection “You’re not as good as the other woman in my eyes.” And then each lead sees that man shift his attention and efforts to the other woman right in front of her. How can that not hurt your feelings and your self-esteem? Imagine you were rejected because the guy you liked actually had a bigger crush on your sister or your best friend. Wouldn't that hurt way worse than him just telling you he didn't feel the connection you did?

Closing Thoughts

Both Rachel and Gabby can’t help but feel the sting of rejection when a contestant chooses the other, so it’s easy for them to forget how many guys are in their corner. In the end, the number of guys they have in their corner doesn’t matter either – the one perfect match is all that matters. It’s easier said than done to focus on the big picture when you’re in their situation, but hopefully they’ve gained this insight since the end of filming and both found their future husbands.

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