What Is The Invisible String Theory And Is It Real?

We’ve all heard of the couple that, years before they met and started dating, had some sort of odd cross of their paths (or near cross, in some cases). Perhaps they had mutual friends but were somehow never introduced and eventually met without any interference from them. Or maybe they grew up two streets away but only came across one another after they individually moved across the country. Or it’s possible that, while looking at a photo from her childhood vacation, a wife spots her husband in the background, despite not meeting him until 20 years later. Maybe you and your boyfriend are that couple.

There’s no doubt that such an interesting coincidence is sure to make us pause and think, “Wow, it’s almost as if they were destined to be together.” We wonder if there might be such a thing as fate or soulmates. Can we really call such an incredible connection a mere coincidence? It’s tempting to imagine that there’s more to the situation than meets the eye.

This is what the internet is calling the invisible string theory, described by TikTok user @spiritualgoddess926 as “basically a theory that you cross paths with certain people but aren’t meant to meet them yet or create connection until later on. And you kind of weave in and out of each other’s lives until you get together.”

The idea that we’re connected by an invisible string with the people we’re meant to love and be with has gained quite a bit of traction on TikTok over the past couple of months, especially due to the widespread popularity of Taylor Swift’s song “Invisible String” from her album Folklore. 

The lyrics clearly paint a picture that’s similar to what we’ve established: “Time, curious time / Gave me no compasses, gave me no signs / Were there clues I didn’t see? / And isn’t it just so pretty to think / All along there was some / Invisible string / Tying you to me?” Enter: the floods of young women on TikTok, posting videos detailing the invisible string that seemingly tied them to their boyfriend for years before they even knew each other, set to Swift’s soft vocals and plucked guitar.

Pretty intriguing, to say the least. Let’s dive into the history behind this mysterious theory.

The Red Thread of Fate

Taylor Swift definitely called attention to the idea of the invisible string that ties us to the people we’re meant to be with, but she didn’t invent this theory. So where did this viral idea that’s taken over TikTok originate?

Originally called the “The Red Thread of Fate,” what we call the invisible string theory today dates back centuries to Chinese mythology (though other Asian cultures have similar legends too). According to the myth, Yue Lao, the god of love and marriage, ties an invisible red string around two people’s ankles, making them destined to be lovers. While this invisible cord might become tangled or stretched, it cannot break.

The myth shares similarities to the idea of soulmates, a relatively popular idea in Western culture that can be traced back to Plato’s Symposium, in which he quotes Aristophanes, proposing that humans were actually created with two heads, four legs, and four arms. Zeus, the king of the gods in ancient Greek mythology, split them in half, forming people with one head, two arms, and two legs who were missing their “other half.” The person we were “split” from is our soulmate, whom we’re destined to reunite with. And we won’t feel fulfilled until we find them.

Is There Any Truth to the Invisible String Theory?

The invisible string theory is undeniably romantic, whimsical, and enchanting. It goes a step further than the idea of soulmates does, in that it draws attention to the close calls we might have had with our significant other – the times that we almost met and maybe even should have met, were it not for the universe that knew it wasn’t time yet. The theory highlights our supposed interconnectedness, causing our eventual relationship with them to feel like a product of fate. But is the invisible string theory actually true?

The short answer? No, it’s not. While there aren’t studies that can be cited that disprove it, we can think through the logical explanations about the situations that many insist are proof of the theory’s credibility. It’s not really that surprising that two people who share mutual friends might one day cross paths, even if not directly through their friends. Running in similar circles will prove that the world is a small place sometimes.

It isn’t unheard of that, after attending the same schools all throughout their lives and being friends on social media, two people who faintly recognize each other might meet at a party and end up dating as adults. 

Incredible coincidences don’t imply the existence of a force in the universe that destines two people to meet one day.

It makes sense that two people who grew up in the same town and both moved away to a new city might meet and feel that they share quite a bit in common. Not only are their upbringings bound to have some similarities, but their desires in life are likely well-matched, considering that they both relocated to the same city.

Are there situations in which a logical explanation might be harder to pin down? Absolutely. But this doesn’t imply the existence of a force in the universe that destines two people to meet one day – this is a big leap to make. What’s more likely for the wife who spotted her husband in the background of a vacation picture from 20 years ago is that their families were of similar economic backgrounds and went on vacation to the popular spot of the time – or maybe, it was just an amazing coincidence. 

Why This Theory Is So Popular

So why has this theory become so popular across the internet? Well, it isn’t that difficult to see the appeal of the invisible string theory. In a world that seems to be delving further into chaos, unrest, and disarray with every passing year, it is, as Taylor Swift said, “pretty to think” that something would be settled, unbeknownst to us and without any real action on our part. The theory allows us to find comfort in the idea that our lives will shake out in the way that the “universe” intended it to, no matter what we do or what’s happening in the world.

It also points to another popular idea: that we’re the main characters of our own lives. This speaks to an intrinsic desire that we each have. Humans naturally yearn for and search for deeper meanings in the lives they lead. We want to know that we matter and that our story matters, enough for a higher power to orchestrate our love life, just as an author or screenwriter would for their protagonist. The theory allows people to feel that the story they’re living out is important.

The Issues with the Invisible String Theory

On the surface, this theory is just simple fun – nothing more than a dreamy explanation for our love story. But the issue with the invisible string theory is that it reduces love to a thing that happens to us, organized by the universe, rather than treating it with the weight that it deserves and recognizing the free will that is involved with love.

The invisible string theory asserts that we’re “supposed” to be with someone. It might not outright suggest this, but it goes without saying that this person will be perfect for us. They’ll be the person we’ve been looking for all along, always easy to love and never imperfect. But this isn’t what love is actually like.

A love that’s predestined isn’t nearly as romantic as a love that’s chosen.

Love is not a decision that’s made for us. We aren’t compelled by the universe to love someone. It’s a decision that we make ourselves. We might feel strongly about someone upon our first meeting, and even into the first year or two of our relationship, while we’re caught up in the honeymoon phase and flooded with dopamine and all other kinds of hormones. At this point, when we’re overwhelmed with emotions, we haven’t yet experienced the full weight of love.

But what happens after we get used to one another? What happens when our relationship isn’t new anymore? What happens when we’re faced with the reality of being with someone who is imperfect? This is where love comes in – lasting, mature, and committed love. Not predestined by an invisible string, but chosen every day by us and our spouse. What could be more romantic than that?

Closing Thoughts

Is the invisible string theory romantic? Of course. Is it fun to think about how you and your husband were potentially “connected” before you’d even met or started dating? Absolutely. But there isn’t ultimately any truth to the theory, so it’s best not to take it too seriously. And if we’re honest, a love that’s predestined isn’t nearly as romantic as a love that’s chosen.

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