No, Chappell—Motherhood Isn’t "Hell"

As a mother of three with a fourth on the way, let me just say, bless her heart. Because anyone who thinks motherhood is one long, soul-sucking descent into despair has either never spent meaningful time around actual mothers, or is so immersed in their own dopamine-addicted, #maincharacter life that the idea of loving someone with your whole heart sounds like torture.

Why Her Comments Struck a Nerve

And contrary to how her fans are spinning it, the reason comments like Roan's struck a nerve isn’t because they’re true—it’s because they’re part of a growing cultural trend that insists motherhood is a burden. And when mothers push back? When we say, actually, no—we love our kids and our lives and we don’t feel “in hell”? Others dismiss us with a smug smirk, "Oh, Chappell made the miserable moms mad." As if our lived experience can be waved away so easily.

Maybe the moms are mad not because they’re miserable, but because they’re being misrepresented by an (allegedly) stinky pop star who has no idea what she’s talking about. It’s kind of like the bitter single friend who insists your relationship must be secretly awful because she can’t relate to it. You don’t hate her, but you definitely stop taking her advice. And who can blame you?

Obviously, I can’t speak for her exact social circle, but I can say this: the motherhood experience most of us are living is full of joy, laughter, and yes, moments of exhaustion and frustration. But here's what so many people keep ignoring: we literally wouldn’t trade it for all the money in the world.

The Normal Moms Are Happy

Let’s also address a couple of important issues. First, Roan is 27. I had my first child at 27, and a lot of my friends did too. But that's likely not the norm in LA, where she lives and likely socializes, so the women in her orbit are likely older and probably just now entering the newborn phase, which we all know is the most challenging.

But let’s pretend for a second that you have a more typical experience. You’re not an LA type who hangs out with pop stars. You live somewhere normal, are married to someone normal with a normal career, and have normal friends. You’re not chasing fame or worried about being seen or whatever the LA girlies are focused on. I’m guessing Roan would assume that kind of existence is “boring,” but maybe it’s actually more enjoyable. It's definitely far more typical.

And for most normal women living normal lives, motherhood is the best. The laughter, the snuggles, the inside jokes, the milestones, and memories. Children are, hands down, the funniest, most creative, most interesting people on the planet. They don’t even have to try—it’s just who they are. Honestly, most people in LA wish they could be as quirky and authentic as the average five-year-old.

Are there tough moments? Duh. Sleepless nights. Tantrums. A body that takes time to heal. But do you really expect any life-altering, soul-refining journey to be 100% pleasant? Show me one thing of eternal value that comes without incredible effort and sacrifice.

More simply put, I just seriously doubt Roan's inner circle has the typical experience. Or maybe they do, and they secretly are enjoying motherhood more than they thought, but they feel like they need to put on a show for their edgy pop star friend. Or maybe they have genuine FOMO. But that’s not the same thing as motherhood being "miserable." That’s them making the choice to compare their life to someone else's—which will always make you miserable, no matter your circumstances.

The Truth About Misery

What’s most frustrating about Chappell’s comments isn’t just that they’re misinformed—it’s that they feed into a broader cultural disdain for motherhood. There are entire corners of Reddit and TikTok where hating kids, mocking parents, and glamorizing child-free, consequence-free living is considered edgy and enlightened. When you stop and think about it, that level of contempt for something so natural and beautiful is deeply disturbing.

It’s a toxic lie that tells people the path to happiness is paved with self-obsession and unending "freedom." It convinces them that love should never ask anything of you, and that if it does, it must be some form of oppression.

Add to that the glorification of lifestyles centered on temporary highs, curated attention, and the dopamine drip of social validation—and you end up with people of little substance. So when Roan says her mom friends are miserable, maybe she’s telling the truth. But the reason isn’t their children. It’s the culture they’re immersed in—a culture that tells them life should be all highs, no sacrifice. They’re trying to do the most ancient, sacred task in human history while still clinging to the expectations of a hyper-individualistic world. And that disconnect will wear you down.

So to the so-called Miserable Mom—if you're actually out there: The problem isn’t the adorable baby in your arms or the wild toddler you're chasing around. It’s the belief that selflessness is suffering. That responsibility is a trap. That love isn’t worth the work.

I also think it’s worth noting that the very platform Chappell used to share her hot take—Call Her Daddy—has itself evolved. The podcast started as a raunchy, party-girl confessional full of tales from the single-girl exploits, celebrating hookup culture and unfiltered hedonism.

But even its host, Alex Cooper, eventually traded in the Sex and the City fantasy for something far more grounded. She got married. She settled down. She stopped talking about sex all the time. Because it turns out that even the most glamorized and hyped-up versions of modern "freedom" can lose their shine. When the novelty finally wears off and the soul wants something deeper—something that lasts—maybe that should tell us something.

Why Most Moms Wouldn’t Trade It for the World

But most of us already know the truth: motherhood is one of the few things on earth that deepens your soul while expanding your heart. Even on the rough days, it offers a kind of beauty and meaning that no glam squad, algorithm, or viral moment can touch.

So no, Chappell—we’re not all in "hell." And for most of us, your fame-fueled nihilism isn’t something to envy. Fame doesn’t shield anyone from loneliness or suffering; more often, it just accelerates the crash. Motherhood, meanwhile, teaches you how to grow, how to endure, and most of all—how to love.

So when you see a mother loving her child, you’re not witnessing "misery." You’re just seeing something you don’t understand yet: love that doesn’t revolve around you.