Who Is Alok Vaid-Menon, Sam Smith's And Demi Lovato's Alleged "Handler" Who May Have Influenced Them To Be Non-Binary And Called Little Girls "Kinky"?

Alok Vaid-Menon is a transfeminine "internationally acclaimed author, poet, comedian, and public speaker," according to his official website. He's also known for having ties to Sam Smith and Demi Lovato, who have come out as non-binary in recent years. 

Users are now speculating that Vaid-Menon could be some kind of "handler" after a few people linked him to the change in both Smith's and Lovato's personas. In a video that's reached over 200,000 views, a TikToker named Bruce Williams (@Bru_e_williams2.0) shares his theory of Vaid-Menon, and how he may have played a role in these celebrities' gender identity. "I have this theory about Sam Smith that I can never shake," he says. "Ever since he's [Smith] met Alok, I think it has been downhill for Sam Smith." 

He explains how Smith had always been vocal about his body dysmorphia and how he was bullied as a kid for his weight. During that period – around 2019 – he apparently met Vaid-Menon, which was around the same time Smith became active at the gym to combat his said disorder. But it appears Smith gained weight and changed his style after Vaid-Menon came into the picture, all within one year. "I truly think that Alok was, like, Sam Smith's handler," Williams says. "And he's probably one of those, like, fake positive people."

He continues, "I truly think the people around Sam Smith is what made him be who he is today. Truly, I mean, even when he got Sam Smith, he had to go and get Demi Lovato." The "Cool for the Summer" singer was also known to struggle with her body image and harrowing traumas. Williams believes her recent weight gain and her usage of "they/them" pronouns may have been influenced by Alok.

"And I truly think he's like a handler for these people, for these celebrities to fill this nonsense gender ideology that you can be a 'they/them,' and that body positivity is okay." He later adds that he thinks Vaid-Menon is a "destructive individual in the most positive and accepting way," where he's more "like a wolf in sheep's clothing." 

Interestingly, Jamie Lee Curtis, who recently gave her Oscar trophy "they/them" pronouns to honor her trans daughter, interviewed Vaid-Menon at the World Beyond the Gender Binary 2023 Upfront Summit.

This is not the first time Vaid-Menon has faced criticism for his "politics." He has apparently said some pretty disturbing things in the past and was previously accused of normalizing pedophilia. When discussing trans rights and bathrooms, Vaid-Menon reportedly wrote the following under the name "DarkMatter" on Facebook: "These days the narrative is that transgender people will come into bathrooms and abuse little girls. The supposed 'purity' of the victims has remained stagnant. There are no princesses. Little girls are also kinky. Your kids aren't as straight and narrow as you think." 

He allegedly claimed that little girls are "queer, trans, kinky," and "deviant." 

In the screenshots of these posts, there's a quote about the girl from The Exorcist – and the writer thinks the "demon-possession" is symbolism for "exploring her sexuality" via masturbation: “From another perspective, the young little girl was really exploring her sexuality (masturbation and so on) and her demons/meanness." 

The writer adds, "What if instead of moving from the 'Exorcist' model of little girlhood, we moved from a place that acknowledged that no one is a perfect pure flower that can be corrupted. That everyone is at once capable of receiving and enacting violence, including little girls. That we all give and receive violence to varying degrees, but that this is not a fairy tale. No one is purely good or evil. Look around: there are no princesses." 

Evie Magazine has reached out to Alok Vaid-Menon for comment. 

Love Evie? Sign up for our newsletter and get curated content weekly!