Why Do I Keep Falling For Much Older Men?

Every couple we see will be different from the last; a couple might be made up of an introvert and an extrovert, or a tall guy and a petite girl, or a blonde and a brunette. But there’s one thing many couples in the United States have in common.

The average age difference in American couples is 2.3 years – certainly not a significant age gap. A couple with this age difference will be members of the same generation, go through similar life seasons simultaneously, and are more likely be on the same wavelength.

This age difference, or something similar to it, is so expected in the United States that many couples with seven years between them or more will be met with more than a few raised eyebrows. And couples that have an age gap of 10 years or more? Even more raised eyebrows.

And yet, we’ve all met a girl who keeps on going for older guys – much older guys. Or maybe that girl is you. And after falling for enough men who far exceed the average age difference of just over two years, you might begin to wonder: Why do some women seem uninterested in guys their own age and keep going for older men? 

They’re Tired of Immature Guys

We’ve all heard it said that women mature faster than men. And if a woman is on the mature side even compared to other women her age, it shouldn’t be surprising that she’ll feel way too mature for guys her own age, and start to look for men with more than a few years on her.

Another common feeling we hear from women in regards to immature guys? They feel like their boyfriend’s mother. To avoid this feeling, many women will search for a man who doesn’t make her feel like the older one in the relationship.

They Intimidate Guys Their Own Age

Whether a woman is highly accomplished in her career, is impressively intelligent, or is more than financially stable, she might struggle to find a boyfriend in her own age group that is as successful as she is, and might even intimidate younger guys who don’t have as much going for them as she does.

Still, most women desire a partner whom they can rely on, who can provide her with something she can’t give herself, who can make her feel taken care of, as capable as she is. Don’t we all want to “marry up” in some sense?

This can lead a young, driven woman to look for a man older than her, who's had far more time to establish himself, whom she’ll feel is at least her equal, if not someone she can admire.

They’re Looking for Stability

Stability comes in many forms. Emotional, financial, and relational stability are just a few of the most important types of security that young yet mature women will look for. And sadly, many of the young men in their age group aren’t able to offer any of these, whether they’re living paycheck to paycheck, or don’t want to put a label on the relationship just yet.

So what’s a woman who wants more than a wanna Netflix and chill? relationship to do? Well, look for an older guy who won’t play games – one who’s stable enough to not buy into hookup culture, has a decent savings built up, and isn’t out at the club every weekend with his buddies.

They Want a Guy Who’s More Experienced

We were all romantically inexperienced at one point. There’s nothing wrong with a young guy who hasn’t dated much, who’s learning the ropes of having a girlfriend for the first time. There’s a huge difference, however, between a guy who wants to learn how to be a good boyfriend, and a guy who doesn’t seem bothered by his lack of experience with how women ought to be treated.

After running into one too many young guys who fall into the latter category, a woman might choose to look for a man who’s experienced enough relationships to know how to offer his girlfriend the respect, attention, and love she desires.

Closing Thoughts

There are plenty of good guys within that 2.3-year age gap, but for some women, dating an older guy makes sense, thanks to their greater stability, higher maturity, and wealth of experience.

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