Gen Z Wants To Marry And Have Kids Early To Escape The "Lonely Millennial" Trap

According to Kara Kennedy of The Nightly AU, many Gen Z women are choosing marriage and parenthood earlier. They’re getting married younger, having kids sooner, and rejecting the idea that there’s always time. “Why not embrace the joy of motherhood while you’re still young?” Kennedy writes. “Why not jump into the big life stuff now?”

Unlike Millennials and DINKS (dual income, no kids), who spent their 20s and 30s focused on careers, travel, and casual sex, many Gen Zers are looking for serious relationships. They’re dating to marry. Maybe it’s because we’ve seen the struggle with loneliness and situationships. With social media, there is more pressure to “settle down” sooner, the need to fit in a lifetime’s worth of milestones into a few short years. Kennedy describes how our generation is deliberately avoiding the regret she sees in older women: “Too many older women I know feel totally lied to by those around them who said they shouldn’t rush into marrying and starting a family because the choice would always be there. But it’s not – no matter how many eggs you freeze.”

Child-Free By Choice

Not every woman wants children. Some are firm in their decision not to be mothers. But how many women ended up child-free because life – or the media – pushed them in that direction? How many of them were influenced to believe that they’d be happier? According to Morgan Stanley forecasts, 45% of women between ages 25 and 44 will be single and childless by the time 2030 rolls around.  

Still, we can't ignore the fact that financial instability plays a major role in a woman's decision to get pregnant. A study published by The Guardian reported that many women who wanted children simply couldn’t afford them. Some were drowning in student loan debt; others were trapped in high-rent cities where homeownership was a distant dream. “People need to stop telling me to ‘just get on with it’ if I want to have children,” said Jen Cleary, 35, a former teacher. “Most of my generation simply cannot afford to.” 

Some women are struggling to find a husband in today's dating market. Not all are childless or single by choice – but it's true that many have still opted for the latter.

No one is saying every woman should rush to have kids, but Gen Z is learning from Millennials. The trend of building families and getting married is making a comeback, as years of heartbreak and noncommittal relationships have hurt women and wasted their time. Gen Z is no longer falling for the “sexual revolution” that led them to be single and used. They don’t want to wake up at 50 wondering what happened.

Kennedy writes, “But I do believe that most of the single and child-free people I know in their 30s and 40s would be happier, more capable and resilient, if they had to navigate a committed, long-term relationship and everything that comes with it, including children.” 

She later adds, "If Millennials were the first, we have learned from their mistakes — their commitment-phobia; and their prioritization of feelings over action."

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