Why Marriage Is The Ultimate Form Of Freedom, Not Bondage

Celebrities like Chelsea Handler have been very outspoken about the fact that marriage is a form of bondage, which is why the old "ball and chain" joke even exists. Oprah has also said that she prefers to remain boyfriend and girlfriend with her longtime partner Stedman Graham because she "didn't want the sacrifices, the compromises, the day-in-day-out commitment required to make a marriage work." Everywhere we turn, it sounds like marriage is the very thing that stops you from chasing your dreams. Being married to someone is made out to be an obligation that removes all the color and fun out of your life.

It's no wonder marriage rates have gone down significantly over the last few decades. Our culture plays a huge role in how our youth views issues like marriage, family, and parenthood, so naturally the mainstream trend of bashing marriage will result in fewer people walking down the aisle. But what if our culture has gotten marriage all wrong? While entertainment, media, and celebrities tell us how constrictive marriage is, the data and statistics show something very different indeed. Married people often have better health, happier lives, and more fulfillment in general. It may sound counterintuitive, but there is a special freedom that comes along with marriage that you can't achieve anywhere else.

Marriage Improves Your Life in Just About Every Single Way

When you actually look at the data that has been published on married people vs. single people (or even cohabitating people), it's very clear that people who are married are healthier and live longer. Not only are married people less likely to get sick, but if they do get sick (even with something like cancer), they are much more likely to make a full recovery compared to people who are single or cohabitating. Men especially have a much better chance at living long, healthy lives if they're married than if they're single.

Married people tend to be better off financially and emotionally as well. Men who are married tend to make more money and face fewer financial troubles, and the same goes for women. But it's really the emotional part that makes you think differently about marriage. There's a popular narrative that makes people think that marriage is stressful and emotionally draining, but data points to both men and women having higher self-esteem, less sadness and loneliness, heightened emotional well-being, and better mental health than those who are single or cohabitating.

Married people tend to be better off financially and emotionally as well.

Even coming down to having someone to talk to at any time about your deepest fears, your stresses, and your challenges can be extremely helpful to someone's mental health. And that's precisely what men and women have when they're married. Married men and women are also far less likely to kill themselves than any demographic, and divorced people had the highest rates of suicide compared to widowed, never-married, and married individuals.

In just about every measurable category, married men and women are better off than single divorced, or cohabitating people. But of course this is something that the media and entertainment industry won't tell you.

Real Freedom Comes from True Vulnerability

Let's return to the idea that marriage is bondage. People want you to believe that getting married is the single worst thing you can do if you enjoy your freedom, and freedom is often associated with sleeping around with whomever you choose, partying at all hours of the night, etc. But freedom does not mean licentiousness. True freedom is having the chance to express yourself in the most vulnerable, authentic ways—and that's precisely what you get when you're married to the right person.

True freedom is having the chance to express yourself in the most vulnerable, authentic ways.

The thing that mainstream society fails to identify about marriage is that you develop the most intimate relationship you can possibly have with someone. When you surrender yourself to someone and get comfortable enough to show who you really are, no barriers and no walls, you realize that's where you find true, fulfilling freedom. There is nothing casual about "casual sex," because sex is not a casual act whatsoever, and that's why there's no real freedom in sleeping with anyone you want. In fact, sleeping around and being promiscuous only makes you a slave to your fleshly desires. There's nothing freeing about that.

Getting married also means you get to finally stop looking for the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with. Unless you've devoted your life to chastity or some kind of vocation that will replace marriage, you can't deny that you're always going to be on the hunt for a partner (whether that partner is temporary or permanent). You don't realize how much energy you expend trying to attract a partner until you have finally married someone and you can give up the search.

When you're happily married, you have someone you can take on the world with. You have a lifelong companion who is going to help you fulfill your most important dreams, and you're more powerful and successful as a team of two rather than one. What could be more freeing and fulfilling than that? Rather than listening to the lie that marriage is a form of bondage, consider all the ways your life will open up for the better once you marry the right person.