Relationships

Why Promiscuity Ruins Self-Esteem

A recent article in The New York Times reported that conservative wives are the happiest of all women in America. As women, there is something very useful we can learn from this discovery.

By S.G. Cheah3 min read
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Shutterstock/Kaspars Grinvalds

These women are happy because they pursue meaningful and satisfying relationships with their sexual partners instead of nihilistic promiscuous behavior. Aristotle stated that in order to be happy, human beings have to live a virtuous life.

In order to be happy, human beings have to live a virtuous life.

In order to live a good and happy life, it is vital that we handle the role of sex in our lives as seriously and as responsibly as possible. Women who have the happiest relationships understand this truth, as seen by virtue of their prudent sexual selection.

Human Nature Aligns with Prudent Sexual Selection

Biologically, women differ from men in one fundamental aspect – our ability to give birth. Throughout human history, childbirth is one of the most dangerous risks to a woman’s life. On top of the pain and agony of childbirth, there is also the risk of her baby being stillborn or the mother dying in childbirth. Fortunately, civilization and medical advancements have made childbirth safer today.

Just try to imagine yourself in the situation of your prehistoric ancestors. On top of going into labor without the convenience of modern medicine, prehistoric women also faced the added dangers of being attacked by wild animals while giving birth. Unquestionably, it's during childbirth itself that a woman is at her most vulnerable state.

Unquestionably, it's during childbirth itself that a woman is at her most vulnerable state.

This is the state when she most depends on her mate to protect her from danger. The woman who had to undergo childbirth alone in the wild, surrounded by the threat of predatory wild animals, has a higher risk of not surviving her childbirth.

The Woman’s Responsibility To Choose Wisely

The fact is, prehistoric man evolved in a way to best ensure their survival as a species. For this reason, women evolved to be as sexually discriminating as possible for their own survival. Not only does she need someone who is capable of protecting her, but he would also have to be willing to die fighting off predators to protect her, whether during childbirth or when raising their young.

Not only does she need someone who is capable of protecting her, but he would also have to be willing to die fighting off predators to protect her.

No doubt, it’s been a long time since the days of our prehistoric ancestors; however, human nature is still a product of our evolutionary biology. Just as our instinct evolved to recognize the signs of danger through our fight or flight response, sexual selection and sexual instinct are built into our psyche. The best course for a woman’s life is to be as utterly discriminating as possible in her choice of a sexual partner.

Indiscriminate Sex Is Unnatural for Women

Even with contraception, some things remain the same; and we cannot change the nature of life itself. It's still “nine minutes for him, nine months for her.” Sex is extremely profound for a woman because the act carries the potential of creating a new life in her body. This is the reality of being female.

We cannot change the nature of life itself. It's still “nine minutes for him, nine months for her.”

If a woman procreated with someone who is unwilling to lay down his life to protect her and their baby, she will suffer the fear and anxiety of being alone in times of crisis; just like her prehistoric ancestors endured the hardship of being alone in the wild. If this fact is hard to accept, observe how nature itself acts in accordance with human survival by releasing the hormone oxytocin to encourage pair-bonding during sex.

The Person You Sleep With Reflects Your Soul

It is psychologically in the woman’s best interest to only share her body with a man she truly loves and admire. He should also feel the same way about her. Every time she lowers her standards and sleeps with someone she knows is unworthy of her, she has no choice but to reevaluate her own worth in her own eyes.

She can’t keep telling herself she is a “Queen” when she sleeps with the dregs of society. As the saying goes, “Water seeks its own level," and an incompetent loser sleeps with another incompetent loser.

She can’t keep telling herself she is a “Queen” when she sleeps with the dregs of society.

The intelligent, rational woman understands this, which is why she knows it's in her best interest to be prudent about her sexual selection. And yet, women today, who are among the best-educated in history, still buy into the lie of sexual promiscuity being fulfilling.

Promiscuity Is Self-Destructive

Meaningless sex with disposable partners tends to result in grave psychological damage for women because it runs contrary to our long term self-interest. A woman’s self-esteem plummets when she realizes how these sexual encounters are a waste of her time, both emotionally and psychologically.

A woman’s self-esteem plummets when she realizes how these sexual encounters are a waste of her time, both emotionally and psychologically.

Mindless, indiscriminate sex is also destructive to a woman’s self-esteem because she will realize that the person she shared her body with is someone who isn’t interested in being there for her if she needs him because he is simply not inspired by her soul.

Happiness Via Body and Soul

It's not surprising why The New York Times article found that regardless of where one stands on the political spectrum, the women who are the happiest in their lives are in stable long term relationships with “devoted family men.”

It may be an unpopular thing to say today, but a man can absolutely make a woman happy. The catch is, he has to be a man she carefully and adequately chose to be worthy of her respect, admiration, and love – in other words, worthy of both her body and soul.