Why Women Love Mr. Darcy

Jane Austen’s classic love interest to her spunky heroine Elizabeth Bennet, Fitzwilliam Darcy has been stealing hearts for two hundred years, on the page and on screen. Pride & Prejudice is the original enemies to lovers romance, pitting a brooding hero against an unconventional and witty heroine. Let’s face it, ladies – we’ve all dreamed about being swept up in a surprise romance with the brusque nobleman from Derbyshire.

There’s a reason women love Mr. Darcy, and it’s not simply because we’re suckers for Matthew MacFadyen’s famous cinematic hand flex. Darcy’s relationship with Elizabeth illustrates many of the masculine traits that women love in a man – even if it rubs them the wrong way at first. Here are just a few of the reasons why we keep falling for Mr. Darcy.

Darcy Only Says What He Really Means

The moment that kickstarts Darcy and Elizabeth’s romance, Pride & Prejudice's inciting incident, occurs early on at the ball where they first meet. But in this romance, eyes don’t meet across the room with instant connection. Instead, Darcy insults Elizabeth, and she overhears him. After Bingley suggests that Darcy dance with someone, with Elizabeth, for example, Darcy tells his friend that Elizabeth is "not handsome enough to tempt me." Immediately affronted by the comment, Elizabeth takes a stolid dislike to the arrogant gentleman.

Darcy again earns Elizabeth's ire when he proposes to her – and in the midst of the proposal, he expresses just how low his opinion of her family is. Darcy informs Elizabeth that he loves her "against his better judgement," and tells her that despite his superiority in wealth and rank, he wants to marry her. Disgusted by his arrogance and rudeness, Elizabeth refuses his offer of marriage – a foolish choice at a time when a woman needed to marry well in order to take care of herself. 

Darcy's proud attitude and offensive comments are contrasted with the smooth manners of soldier Mr. Wickham, to whom Elizabeth instantly takes a liking. Wickham is everything Darcy is not – suave, sensitive, and flattering to Elizabeth’s pride. Wickham confirms everything Elizabeth believes about Darcy, and his attentions make her feel as witty and clever as she thinks herself to be. 

Darcy’s honesty about his full opinion may disgust Elizabeth at first, but she comes to appreciate his honesty when he sends her a letter following his proposal to explain his behavior. In the letter, Darcy reveals all: the true story about Wickham's misdeeds and Darcy's own decision to influence his friend Bingley against marrying Elizabeth's sister, Jane. The letter causes Elizabeth to face a truth she has been avoiding the whole book: her own flawed judgment and prejudice. Elizabeth discovers that the smooth manners of the handsome Wickham are just a cover for the behavior of a selfish man.

While Darcy sometimes abuses his tendency to express his opinions brusquely, it's ultimately a trait that endears Darcy to us. In a world of trained manners and insincere sentiments, Darcy expresses his approval and disapproval transparently. Elizabeth eventually falls in love with this trait for the same reason all women are attracted to it: Women want the men in their lives to be honest with them. Healthy relationships are ones that encourage us to grow into better versions of ourselves, and that kind of growth isn't possible with people who only tell us what we want to hear. Elizabeth eventually falls for Darcy because he says things she doesn't like to hear – and ultimately, they help her to grow.

Darcy Gives Off Protective Dad Vibes

Elizabeth is understandably angry with Darcy when she discovers that he dissuaded Bingley from marrying her sister, and she writes it off as an example of his pomposity and arrogance. But that’s the thing we learn about Darcy from his letter – he’s fiercely protective of anyone he loves. In the letter, Darcy reveals the lengths he went to to protect his significantly younger sister, Georgiana. 

Elizabeth first sees Darcy with Georgiana when she visits his house Pemberly when traveling with her aunt and uncle. Darcy the older brother is different from the cold, proud man Elizabeth knew at Netherfield. This side of Darcy is warm, and the almost paternal figure he plays to his sister immediately appeals to Elizabeth.

Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think it’s an accident that Elizabeth falls for Darcy so shortly after seeing him with his sister. After all, women want men who are protective and will make good fathers. Seeing Darcy with his sister shows Elizabeth that he can be gentle and loving as well as proud. Even if his protective spirit is sometimes misapplied – as in the case of Bingley and Jane – Darcy still puts the people he loves above all else. And it’s not just attractive to Elizabeth because it gives off protective dad vibes – though that’s always a plus. Elizabeth herself is protective of those she loves, especially her sisters. Protecting the people they love is a value Elizabeth and Darcy share, and it makes Elizabeth wonder if there’s a chance for a relationship between them after all.

Darcy Does What Is Right without Looking for Credit

As Elizabeth learns the truth about Darcy’s past history with Wickham, she begins to warm to him. But just when the two seem to have a chance at a closer relationship, Elizabeth's younger sister Lydia runs off with Wickham to London – unmarried. It’s an act that disgraces the whole family, and when Darcy parts ways with Elizabeth, she is convinced that any chance they had of a relationship is gone now that her family is socially ruined.

Elizabeth discovers later, however, that Darcy parted ways with her specifically to find Wickham and to buy him a commission in the army so that he will marry Lydia and restore the Bennet family's reputation. Not only does Darcy save the Bennet family name, but he specifically forbids anyone from telling Elizabeth he has done so. It's an action of love done without any thought for praise or reward, purely because he wants to see right done to the woman he loves and her family.

This is when Elizabeth realizes that she was completely wrong about Darcy and that she has fallen in love with him. Who can blame her? There is truly nothing more attractive than a man who does what is right without trying to get credit for it. If a man is motivated solely by attention, his behavior could change as soon as he is no longer receiving praise. But when a man does what is right privately because he knows it is right, as Darcy does, it means that he will choose to act correctly in any situation, whether he seems to benefit or not.

Closing Thoughts

Jane Austen’s romantic hero Mr. Darcy embodies some of the traits that women value the most in a man. He is a man of his word, who says both what he thinks and what is true. He’s protective of the people he loves the most, and he does what is right without wanting credit for it. But most important of all – Darcy is guided by his love for Elizabeth to become a better version of himself, just as he helps Elizabeth to do the same.