The Transformative Power Of Leaving Maidenhood And Embracing The Motherhood Archetype

It’s no secret that the finest, most beautiful things in life are those that have aged, ripened, or fully blossomed. Interestingly, our culture has impressed upon females that this law of nature no longer applies to them. Society now tells us that maturation is undesirable, that beauty has an expiration date, that maidenhood is superior to motherhood. This notion has created a crisis of women who are afraid to grow up. They are caught in a vain attempt to defy time and remain forever young. They don’t see that it’s in maturation that you become most beguilingly feminine, most whole, most yourself. Ladies, it’s time to flip the script and reclaim the fully feminine wonder that is motherhood. 

A Necessary Metamorphosis 

Once upon a time, it was every young girl’s dream to become a woman: to raise herself from immaturity to maturity, to move with grace and act with class, to possess the wisdom that comes with realizing your feminine powers in full, to love in the way that only one who has left behind maidenhood has the power to love. Today, too many young girls simply age into older girls who still dress in crop tops, lose themselves in trifling endeavors, and never learn to love because they don’t possess themselves enough to give themselves fully to another. 

Maidenhood in itself isn’t bad. In fact, it has the potential to be a lovely, fruitful time of growth for young women. It’s the remaining in maidenhood that becomes the problem and even taints this very phase of youth. Maidenhood should be a time to uncover, learn, and grow. It’s a time to become the best version of yourself. The maiden should devote herself to her education, the honing of her natural gifts and talents, and the beautification of her whole person, body and soul. The maiden should dress in a way that accentuates her youth. She should enjoy the pastimes and outings and celebrations that come with youth. The maiden should love and live into her state, but she should do so with the knowledge and hope that she’ll eventually graduate and become the woman she has been becoming. In short, the aim of maidenhood is motherhood.

The mother knows, with confidence, who she is because she has realized her full feminine potential. 

Motherhood is a call for all women. Women, by their very nature, have the capacity – and, therefore, the responsibility and the privilege – to mother, which is the capacity to create, nurture, and guide. For some, this means becoming a biological mother. For others, it means foster parenting or adopting. Still, for others, it means becoming a “spiritual” mother of some sort (think teachers who lovingly educate children, nurses and doctors who care for the sick, women who tirelessly work in homeless shelters). Whatever it looks like, it’s the natural role that a woman steps into when she fully matures. And naturally, motherhood is distinctly different from maidenhood. 

Motherhood is a time to lean into the woman that you were created to be. The mother knows, with confidence, who she is because she has realized her full feminine potential. She has the wisdom that comes from bearing or fostering new life. She no longer seeks to be pursued because she has already been won (either by her husband or by a vocation of singleness that she has chosen). The mother knows she’s beautiful and that her beauty extends far beneath her skin. The mother is a gift, constantly being poured out for others. Paradoxically, though, she finds herself in this giving of herself. Mothers are flowers in full bloom, the fullness of femininity, and a great force in our world. The world should be in awe of mothers! 

A Society Stuck in Maidenhood

So, why is it that today’s culture doesn’t champion motherhood like it used to? It may be because we’re a society that believes it’s okay (and even good) to be selfish and to live totally independent of others. It may be because society wants objects of lust. Maidens are yet uncommitted and are, therefore, still easily seen as "for the taking." They can more easily be objectified. It may be because society wants women to be hustlers so that women can rise to positions of power in the workforce. Ironically, women have so much more power and influence when they choose not to be cogs in the machines of today's industries. It may be because when women choose to grow up and harness their true feminine gifts, the world becomes less worldly and more focused on the things that really matter, like family and community. 

When women choose to grow up, the world becomes more focused on the things that really matter.

Unfortunately, our culture will continue to convince women that it’s better to remain stuck in maidenhood unless we begin embracing our motherhood! How do we do this? By boldly and joyfully allowing our motherhood to color how we speak, act, dress, move, and love! While maidens speak with deference to authority, mothers have the gift of speaking with authority, wisdom, and counsel. While maidens may still act with the carefree innocence of youth, mothers act with calmness, gentleness, and surety. While maidens may dress in the fun and flirty, ever shifting trends of the times, mothers dress with timelessness and elegance. While maidens may flit about from here to there, seeking and discovering, mothers move with purpose to tend and care and serve. While maidens may still be learning to love, mothers know love in the deepest sense. And it is that knowledge and understanding that spurs them to their greatest acts and grounds them in their beautiful identity. Isn’t this magnificent – to be a mother? 

Closing Thoughts 

Becoming a mother will involve the shedding of maidenhood. It will involve sacrificing certain aspects of maidenhood. It will involve healing any wounds received in maidenhood. But the process is a worthy one, for motherhood is, was, and always will be the aim of maidenhood. Ladies, do not be afraid to grow up. Our world needs women who know their worth, their beauty, and the greatness that lies in what it means to be a woman. 

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